A little humour
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@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:
A State Trooper pulled over a Man for Speeding one afternoon. After the car pulled over the officer took the Gentleman out of the car and told him to put his hands on the hood of his car.
The Trooper told the man, "Sir, the reason i stopped your vehicle is you were going 80 miles over the posted speed limit and it took me miles to catch up to you." The man looked at the Officer and said "I'm sorry Officer but theres a good reason why I was Speeding"
The Officer looked at the Man and said "if you can give me one good reason why you were Speeding, I will let you off with a warning."
The man began to explain.... "A few years ago my Wife ran off with a State Trooper and when I saw you in my rearview mirror I panicked. I thought You Were Bringing Her Back."
The officer LAUGHING told the man, "Have a Nice Day......"
Another guy gets stopped for speeding by a Texas State trooper. The officer asks him for his paperwork and then why he was driving so fast. Driver says, I am with the Circus that is performing up the road and I am trying not to be late. I am so sorry for speeding. Trooper says, what do you do for the circus?
I'm a juggler.
Hmm, says the trooper, get out, and show me some juggling and I'll let you off with a warning. I LOVE juggling.
Oh, says the driver, my stuff is in the equipment van, so I don’t have anything to juggle.
That didn’t stop the Trooper.
He insisted he could use a couple of flares, the jack handle and a safety triangle from the trunk.
Next thing you know, two guys from Oklahoma drive by and see the act happening on the side of the road. One says to the other Okie, remind me never to drink and drive in Texas, I'd never pass that sobriety test! -
“My husband’s guilty”
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@BigDub
I’ve heard this one told that when the passerby who’d had a beer after work saw this happening pulled over and got in the back of the cruiser. When asked by the cop “what’s going on”? The passerby told the cop “go ahead and take me to jail. I’ll never pass that test.Also no state was mentioned
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@djeffers78 said in A little humour:
@BigDub
I’ve heard this one told that when the passerby who’d had a beer after work saw this happening pulled over and got in the back of the cruiser. When asked by the cop “what’s going on”? The passerby told the cop “go ahead and take me to jail. I’ll never pass that test.Also no state was mentioned
I think that might have been how I first heard it too, but I was winging it a bit....hahaha
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In honor of Big Dub!!!
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A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, ...please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"
"Now tell me, what the heck would you say?"
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What did the trumpet player want who continued to practice from 12 midnight to 4 am every night? -
A cheap price for the house next door!
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Steve Smith
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Scottish gangsters were easily caught after a smash-and-grab raid.
Why?
They came back for the brick. -
@SSmith1226
Kids at school comparing their Christmas presents.
Ed replies, a bit bored, "A football, a stone sling and an airgun. The usual." -
"Why, "the usual"?" his classmates ask.
"Well, my father's a glazier."
