How are trumpet players like pirates?

They both murder on the high C's.

What's the difference between God and a trumpet player?

God knows He is not a trumpet player.

How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?

Take away their instrument.

How do you get a trumpet player to play triple forte on his part?

Mark mezzo piano on the score.

But what is it that really enhances YOUR performance. It's the monitors. If you sound good to yourself, you sound good to the audience. I always make the sound man give me the sound I want on the monitors. They leave the knob there all night. So if the balance is not perfect in front of me, at least the audience gets a perfect performance out of me.

I originally posted this in "Little Humor" but I do believe it applies to this thread to illustrate where the discussion can go:

On second thought, that's ok, I yield as Vulgano Brother could use a nice home.

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

In case you haven't seen this one yet...

IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED….

A friend of mine has two tickets to the 2020 Super Bowl here in Miami, both box seats. He paid $11,500 each. They come with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, and $400 bar tab. Also, 2 back stage passes to the winner’s locker room.

He didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place…it’s at St Stephen's Church here in Miami at 3:00 PM that Saturday. Her name is Ashley, she’s 5’4”, about 115 lbs. , and she is a good cook too. She loves to fish and hunt. She’ll be the one in the white dress, up front.

My only question before considering assisting, has the wedding ring already been purchased?