Always enjoyed the joke thread on TM. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so let's see if I can successfully upload an image (if not, failure always has a funny angle...)
NoMoreBlues.jpg

A little (but maybe not so much?) off topic...

Am currently enjoying a course provide by Coursera and would like to recommend it to TBers with an interest in playing/learning to play jazz, blues or simply expanding you knowledge on harmonic structures (beyond that which many of us have/had as players of a single tone instrument).

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-blues

I'd previously bypassed this course because the abbreviated title "learn the blues" implied, in my mind, a simplistic overview of the genre. Happily, I was way wrong. The Blues: Understanding and Performing an American Art Form ranges widely from the origin of and foundation to much of our current music that the blues has given. From a practical point of view, the lessons provide good theoretical depth on harmonic structures along with practical take-aways. The starting point may be simple 12-bar blues as played by every guitarist and their dog, but delves into complex extensions such as those from Charlie Parker.

There are some great suggestions for ear-training technique, voice-leading, building/improving improv techniques and of particular use for wannabe key-boardists like me, comping techniques.

I could waffle on, but best that you take a look and form your own opinions,

For anyone that battled through the Gary Burton improv course on Coursera, I can say that this one is way more digestible with a lot of small elements that can be taken on board straight away.

About Coursera - there are two mode of using Coursera material - you can take a course for free, or pay to have an assessment and certificate at the end of the course.

Would love to hear from anyone who has had a look at this course.

@Doodlin This video from Eric Bolvin is a great place to start. This is all about beginning improv - making up your own tune/licks/counter-melodies as you go. FWIW, until I started playing trumpet again ("comeback" still feels pretentious to me) about 7 years back, attempts at getting started with improv never took off. This video really opened my eyes and after first watching it, I spent 3 very happy hours noodling with what I'd learned in ten minutes.

Enjoy!

@BigDub the trombone guys are way ahead of us...

Doctor vs Lawyer

A doctor moved to a new town but couldn’t get a job in a hospital. Needing work, he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads: "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene." Doctor: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything." Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth." Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste." Doctor: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20." The fuming lawyer pays him.
The lawyer then comes back a week later determined to get back $100. Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all Doctor: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100." Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!" Doctor: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

Took up trumpet as a child and went on to knock out quite a few decent tunes. Sadly he passed away at 91 after breaking his femur a few days ago.
This is a nice reading of my favourite Morricone number.

My favourite cornet today is this sweet old Martin Indiana which "saved my life".
My band had two slots -Sunday and Monday of a holiday weekend at a jazz festival an hour and a half drive from home. I normally stay for the whole weekend, but family matters prevented this. I arrived an hour before our slot, opened the hatch of my car to see no trumpet. Don't like leaving horns in a car.
Most of the bands with brass players had played on the previous days and had left town. Was walking from the car in my stupid purple suit when someone on the way to their gig said "great suit". I told him that I should've spent more time packing my instrument than dressing up. His keyboardist, a local, rocked up and said "I have an old trumpet upstairs". He returned with this baby.
It performed almost flawlessly. The first valve was sticking during a solo in Dm - fortunately you can hold down 1st and still make fair riff in Dm . No valve oil, so I had to make do with a bit of old school saliva on the valves

Wishing you all a happy, safe and healthy Christmas.

Preemptive apologies. There are some things that you can’t un-see …

For collectors of "misheard lyrics"

I love "when the band slows down" ...

Had to share this…

@bigdub That reminds me of joke my dad used to tell me... Q: "What's the difference between a mail box and the back end of an elephant?" "I don't know dad" A: "Well I won't send you to post a letter".
I was so young at the time, I didn't really get the joke, but Mum used to admonish him for telling such a rude joke .

Language is constantly evolving (sometimes, whether we like it or not). The world of music is no exception…

Sadly, the first thing I thought when seeing this was "what? The whole family sits at the table? At the same time?"

@dr-go remember if you copy someone's work it's plagiarism. If you copy from two or more people, it's Research!