Always enjoyed the joke thread on TM. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so let's see if I can successfully upload an image (if not, failure always has a funny angle...)
NoMoreBlues.jpg

A little (but maybe not so much?) off topic...

@Doodlin This video from Eric Bolvin is a great place to start. This is all about beginning improv - making up your own tune/licks/counter-melodies as you go. FWIW, until I started playing trumpet again ("comeback" still feels pretentious to me) about 7 years back, attempts at getting started with improv never took off. This video really opened my eyes and after first watching it, I spent 3 very happy hours noodling with what I'd learned in ten minutes.

Enjoy!

@BigDub the trombone guys are way ahead of us...

Am currently enjoying a course provide by Coursera and would like to recommend it to TBers with an interest in playing/learning to play jazz, blues or simply expanding you knowledge on harmonic structures (beyond that which many of us have/had as players of a single tone instrument).

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-blues

I'd previously bypassed this course because the abbreviated title "learn the blues" implied, in my mind, a simplistic overview of the genre. Happily, I was way wrong. The Blues: Understanding and Performing an American Art Form ranges widely from the origin of and foundation to much of our current music that the blues has given. From a practical point of view, the lessons provide good theoretical depth on harmonic structures along with practical take-aways. The starting point may be simple 12-bar blues as played by every guitarist and their dog, but delves into complex extensions such as those from Charlie Parker.

There are some great suggestions for ear-training technique, voice-leading, building/improving improv techniques and of particular use for wannabe key-boardists like me, comping techniques.

I could waffle on, but best that you take a look and form your own opinions,

For anyone that battled through the Gary Burton improv course on Coursera, I can say that this one is way more digestible with a lot of small elements that can be taken on board straight away.

About Coursera - there are two mode of using Coursera material - you can take a course for free, or pay to have an assessment and certificate at the end of the course.

Would love to hear from anyone who has had a look at this course.

Doctor vs Lawyer

A doctor moved to a new town but couldn’t get a job in a hospital. Needing work, he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads: "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene." Doctor: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything." Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth." Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste." Doctor: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20." The fuming lawyer pays him.
The lawyer then comes back a week later determined to get back $100. Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all Doctor: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100." Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!" Doctor: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

Took up trumpet as a child and went on to knock out quite a few decent tunes. Sadly he passed away at 91 after breaking his femur a few days ago.
This is a nice reading of my favourite Morricone number.

My favourite cornet today is this sweet old Martin Indiana which "saved my life".
My band had two slots -Sunday and Monday of a holiday weekend at a jazz festival an hour and a half drive from home. I normally stay for the whole weekend, but family matters prevented this. I arrived an hour before our slot, opened the hatch of my car to see no trumpet. Don't like leaving horns in a car.
Most of the bands with brass players had played on the previous days and had left town. Was walking from the car in my stupid purple suit when someone on the way to their gig said "great suit". I told him that I should've spent more time packing my instrument than dressing up. His keyboardist, a local, rocked up and said "I have an old trumpet upstairs". He returned with this baby.
It performed almost flawlessly. The first valve was sticking during a solo in Dm - fortunately you can hold down 1st and still make fair riff in Dm . No valve oil, so I had to make do with a bit of old school saliva on the valves

There is light on the other side!
Thanks again all for the sage advice. @SSmith1226 Steve, thanks for the suggestion about the pencil exercises. I added that to my post-op exercise regime albeit not religiously. I sure that the doctors prescribe beta-blockers to prevent patients feeling too good, too soon

I discussed resuming practice with my cardiologist and surgeon and got the go-ahead to resume gentle practice (and driving - Yes!!) after four weeks. Was doing some long tones and lip slurs, but was feeling discouraged because the notes were coming out, but sound was horrible. To get a bit a structure into the practice, I started using the early pages from Charles S Peters Total Range.

Last Friday, after nine days practice, my community band had their first post-Christmas practice. Playing felt great - it's so good to play in an ensemble and be welcomed back after such a break.
Today (Sunday), my jazz band got together for a practice and that was good fun and not at all painful.
Articulation needs some work, but that was the case pre-op My old sound, for better or worse, has come back and I'm playing up to C above the staff in tunes and solos without any discomfort.

It seems that the sternum is healing well - a sneeze only hurts a little bit. Now that the beta-blockers have stopped, I'm finally feeling better than pre-op.

HNY Wayne, wonder if this is an electronic or ear issue? Thought I’d share my “one weird trick” story in case it helps.
A few years back, I acquired my first C trumpet and couldn’t believe how bad its intonation. Swapped back and forth between C and regular Bb horn in practice and the new horn didn’t seem to improve.
I can’t remember why, but I played few tunes on the Bb, reading from a Bb Real Book, then played the same tunes on the C horn, reading from the C Real Book and for some strange reason the intonation issues stopped. It was like something in my tiny mind switched - either that or some musical elves tweaked the C trumpet.

Cheers
tj

Quite "real looking" at first scan, but there isn't much that reads like the author's analysis/insights on the topics. The pieces look like a last-minute essay done on the basis of Google searches.
I'm curious about the length of the responses - @administrator you asked for 5000 word essays? I only did a WC on the Miles piece and it came in below 500. Maybe you need the paid-for service for more substantial works?

Drummers...

Thanks all for the advice and good wishes. I'm so looking forward to resuming playing.
@Kehaulani , condolences not needed, but thanks. I'm incredibly lucky that I asked my GP about increasing breathlessness. Playing wasn't really affected but the tests showed multiple major blockages so the arterial grafts are much better option than the otherwise inevitable event.
Please, all enjoy your Christmas gigs, I'm happy to be an on-looker this year.

cheers
tj

Re: Triple by-pass reocvery

I'm one week post triple by-pass and busting to start playing again. From the first post-op physio, I've included exhaling through my chops formed into an embouchure shape and it feels ok. Currently I'm staying at my partner's place and never thought to pack a horn in the suitcase so it'll be a couple of weeks before I can check that the sounds I visualise match reality.
I spoke with my surgeon about resuming practice and he said I could try after 3 or 4 weeks, just take it easy.
My jazz band is booked for a festival in early Feb, two months after the op and I'd love to play there. My role is pretty cruisey, a little solo in most numbers. Thinking it's maybe an opportunity to reconstruct the solos as part of the practice??
your thoughts, experience?

cheers
tj

The darker side of Christmas humour

Nice. Thanks for posting Christophe!

Whilst the thread is following s reflective vein, consider paralysis by analysis…