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A little humour

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  • BigDub
    BigDub @Tobylou8 last edited by BigDub Sep 18, 2019, 10:12 PM Sep 18, 2019, 10:11 PM

    @Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

    A State Trooper pulled over a Man for Speeding one afternoon. After the car pulled over the officer took the Gentleman out of the car and told him to put his hands on the hood of his car.

    The Trooper told the man, "Sir, the reason i stopped your vehicle is you were going 80 miles over the posted speed limit and it took me miles to catch up to you." The man looked at the Officer and said "I'm sorry Officer but theres a good reason why I was Speeding"

    The Officer looked at the Man and said "if you can give me one good reason why you were Speeding, I will let you off with a warning."

    The man began to explain.... "A few years ago my Wife ran off with a State Trooper and when I saw you in my rearview mirror I panicked. I thought You Were Bringing Her Back."

    The officer LAUGHING told the man, "Have a Nice Day......"

    Another guy gets stopped for speeding by a Texas State trooper. The officer asks him for his paperwork and then why he was driving so fast. Driver says, I am with the Circus that is performing up the road and I am trying not to be late. I am so sorry for speeding. Trooper says, what do you do for the circus?
    I'm a juggler.
    Hmm, says the trooper, get out, and show me some juggling and I'll let you off with a warning. I LOVE juggling.
    Oh, says the driver, my stuff is in the equipment van, so I don’t have anything to juggle.
    That didn’t stop the Trooper.
    He insisted he could use a couple of flares, the jack handle and a safety triangle from the trunk.
    Next thing you know, two guys from Oklahoma drive by and see the act happening on the side of the road. One says to the other Okie, remind me never to drink and drive in Texas, I'd never pass that sobriety test!

    GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
    Assorted other mp's not used
    ( not very unusual….right? )

    D 1 Reply Last reply Sep 19, 2019, 9:40 PM Reply Quote 3
    • SSmith1226
      SSmith1226 last edited by SSmith1226 Sep 19, 2019, 10:55 AM Sep 19, 2019, 10:55 AM

      “My husband’s guilty”

      Steve Smith

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • ?
        A Former User last edited by Sep 19, 2019, 5:02 PM

        example.jpg

        Dr GO 1 Reply Last reply Sep 19, 2019, 7:25 PM Reply Quote 2
        • Dr GO
          Dr GO @Guest last edited by Sep 19, 2019, 7:25 PM

          @Niner said in A little humour:

          example.jpg

          Gives a whole new perspective to being "Tea'd off".

          Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
          Harrelson Summit 2017
          Kanstul 1526 2012
          Getzen Power Bore 1961
          Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
          Martin Committee 1946
          Olds Super Recording 1940
          Olds Recording (LA) 1953
          Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
          Olds Ambassador 1965

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • D
            djeffers78 @BigDub last edited by Sep 19, 2019, 9:40 PM

            @BigDub
            I’ve heard this one told that when the passerby who’d had a beer after work saw this happening pulled over and got in the back of the cruiser. When asked by the cop “what’s going on”? The passerby told the cop “go ahead and take me to jail. I’ll never pass that test.

            Also no state was mentioned

            BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Sep 20, 2019, 12:48 AM Reply Quote 1
            • BigDub
              BigDub @djeffers78 last edited by Sep 20, 2019, 12:48 AM

              @djeffers78 said in A little humour:

              @BigDub
              I’ve heard this one told that when the passerby who’d had a beer after work saw this happening pulled over and got in the back of the cruiser. When asked by the cop “what’s going on”? The passerby told the cop “go ahead and take me to jail. I’ll never pass that test.

              Also no state was mentioned

              I think that might have been how I first heard it too, but I was winging it a bit....hahaha

              GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
              Assorted other mp's not used
              ( not very unusual….right? )

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • 8 days later
              • ?
                A Former User last edited by Sep 28, 2019, 2:46 AM

                joke.jpg

                Tobylou8 1 Reply Last reply Sep 28, 2019, 2:11 PM Reply Quote 1
                • Tobylou8
                  Tobylou8 @Guest last edited by Sep 28, 2019, 2:11 PM

                  @Niner said in A little humour:

                  joke.jpg

                  alt text

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • Tobylou8
                    Tobylou8 last edited by Oct 4, 2019, 11:56 AM

                    0073dc1f-967c-4cbb-a3b5-4393d3f0596a-image.png

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                    • Tobylou8
                      Tobylou8 last edited by Oct 4, 2019, 11:57 AM

                      d852cf34-1b4e-4882-9767-4d9650b36ab4-image.png

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                      • Tobylou8
                        Tobylou8 last edited by Oct 4, 2019, 11:59 AM

                        In honor of Big Dub!!!

                        b896d25a-dda5-4fa3-bdf3-f2ccdf1c2816-image.png

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • Tobylou8
                          Tobylou8 last edited by Oct 4, 2019, 12:10 PM

                          4d577e4e-e60b-48dd-828f-f982635baae4-image.png

                          Tobylou8 1 Reply Last reply Oct 4, 2019, 12:11 PM Reply Quote 1
                          • Tobylou8
                            Tobylou8 @Tobylou8 last edited by Oct 4, 2019, 12:11 PM

                            @Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

                            4d577e4e-e60b-48dd-828f-f982635baae4-image.png

                            I found this in the Lava-tory!!

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • ?
                              A Former User last edited by Oct 5, 2019, 3:34 AM

                              Clipboard01.jpg

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                              • tjcombo
                                tjcombo last edited by Oct 5, 2019, 10:12 PM

                                23D12589-4792-4586-9A51-6F496578AEE3.jpeg

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                • Tobylou8
                                  Tobylou8 last edited by Oct 8, 2019, 12:32 PM

                                  A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

                                  Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."

                                  "I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, ...please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

                                  Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road...."

                                  The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

                                  By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".

                                  Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

                                  Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

                                  "Now tell me, what the heck would you say?"

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
                                  • barliman2001
                                    barliman2001 Global Moderator last edited by Oct 9, 2019, 1:11 PM

                                    What did the trumpet player want who continued to practice from 12 midnight to 4 am every night? -

                                    A cheap price for the house next door!

                                    ACB Doubler Picc
                                    Courtois Balanced
                                    Courtois D
                                    Olds Recording
                                    Buescher Aristocrat
                                    Gaudet C
                                    Selmer G
                                    Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
                                    Besson International Bb cornet
                                    Ganter Eb cornet
                                    Besson International baritone
                                    B&H Sovereign trombone
                                    Weltklang Euph

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • SSmith1226
                                      SSmith1226 last edited by Oct 10, 2019, 7:16 PM

                                      2B5EB497-E7D2-416A-BFC1-D1E857FC8589.jpeg

                                      Steve Smith

                                      barliman2001 1 Reply Last reply Oct 10, 2019, 7:20 PM Reply Quote 2
                                      • barliman2001
                                        barliman2001 Global Moderator last edited by Oct 10, 2019, 7:17 PM

                                        Scottish gangsters were easily caught after a smash-and-grab raid.
                                        Why?
                                        They came back for the brick.

                                        ACB Doubler Picc
                                        Courtois Balanced
                                        Courtois D
                                        Olds Recording
                                        Buescher Aristocrat
                                        Gaudet C
                                        Selmer G
                                        Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
                                        Besson International Bb cornet
                                        Ganter Eb cornet
                                        Besson International baritone
                                        B&H Sovereign trombone
                                        Weltklang Euph

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • barliman2001
                                          barliman2001 Global Moderator @SSmith1226 last edited by Oct 10, 2019, 7:20 PM

                                          @SSmith1226
                                          Kids at school comparing their Christmas presents.
                                          Ed replies, a bit bored, "A football, a stone sling and an airgun. The usual." -
                                          "Why, "the usual"?" his classmates ask.
                                          "Well, my father's a glazier."

                                          ACB Doubler Picc
                                          Courtois Balanced
                                          Courtois D
                                          Olds Recording
                                          Buescher Aristocrat
                                          Gaudet C
                                          Selmer G
                                          Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
                                          Besson International Bb cornet
                                          Ganter Eb cornet
                                          Besson International baritone
                                          B&H Sovereign trombone
                                          Weltklang Euph

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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