A little humour

SSmith1226

@administrator said in A little humour:

I don't know I just think that giving the response of "I'm feeling suicidal today," to the cashier's question "How are you?" Just doesn't seem quite right.

Yeah... "I'm feeling homicidal." works better. It gives the cashier more to think about.

You don’t want the clerk to overthink this. Here is what can happen:

BigDub

@administrator said in A little humour:

I don't know I just think that giving the response of "I'm feeling suicidal today," to the cashier's question "How are you?" Just doesn't seem quite right.

Especially when embarking on an airline flight.........

Tobylou8

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

@administrator said in A little humour:

I don't know I just think that giving the response of "I'm feeling suicidal today," to the cashier's question "How are you?" Just doesn't seem quite right.

Yeah... "I'm feeling homicidal." works better. It gives the cashier more to think about.

You don’t want the clerk to overthink this. Here is what can happen:

RrrrrrUSSIA!!!!!

BigDub

@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

@administrator said in A little humour:

I don't know I just think that giving the response of "I'm feeling suicidal today," to the cashier's question "How are you?" Just doesn't seem quite right.

Yeah... "I'm feeling homicidal." works better. It gives the cashier more to think about.

You don’t want the clerk to overthink this. Here is what can happen:

RrrrrrUSSIA!!!!!

There are several lessons to be learned here.........

Kehaulani

My GF before I returned from Germany is Russian. Yes, the video and above comments are true.

administrator

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@administrator said in A little humour:

I don't know I just think that giving the response of "I'm feeling suicidal today," to the cashier's question "How are you?" Just doesn't seem quite right.

Especially when embarking on an airline flight.........

The only thing the TSA encourages is misery!

BigDub

@administrator said in A little humour:

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@administrator said in A little humour:

I don't know I just think that giving the response of "I'm feeling suicidal today," to the cashier's question "How are you?" Just doesn't seem quite right.

Especially when embarking on an airline flight.........

The only thing the TSA encourages is misery!

They are not the most flexible, "out of the box" type people.
I think a Robot might be more compromising.....
Not that I'm complaining......they have to do their job the way they are told.

Kehaulani

I don't know what this has with "Humor", but since we're on the subject of TSA - in my travels, I've been met with both horrible conditions and people, and easy ones. To me, it generally had to do with location. I.e., TSA in New York as abdominal and rude while TSA in Honolulu was fine.

BigDub

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

I don't know what this has with "Humor", but since we're on the subject of TSA - in my travels, I've been met with both horrible conditions and people, and easy ones. To me, it generally had to do with location. I.e., TSA in New York as abdominal and rude while TSA in Honolulu was fine.

I just don’t have the stomach for those abdominal TSA agents

Dr GO

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

I don't know what this has with "Humor", but since we're on the subject of TSA - in my travels, I've been met with both horrible conditions and people, and easy ones. To me, it generally had to do with location. I.e., TSA in New York as abdominal and rude while TSA in Honolulu was fine.

I just don’t have the stomach for those abdominal TSA agents

As long as your stomach contents is under 3 oz, you're OK!

BigDub

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

I don't know what this has with "Humor", but since we're on the subject of TSA - in my travels, I've been met with both horrible conditions and people, and easy ones. To me, it generally had to do with location. I.e., TSA in New York as abdominal and rude while TSA in Honolulu was fine.

I just don’t have the stomach for those abdominal TSA agents

As long as your stomach contents is under 3 oz, you're OK!

Swwwwwwwwiiiiiiish

administrator

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

I don't know what this has with "Humor", but since we're on the subject of TSA - in my travels, I've been met with both horrible conditions and people, and easy ones. To me, it generally had to do with location. I.e., TSA in New York as abdominal and rude while TSA in Honolulu was fine.

That seems to be representative of the general populations in those places.

N1684T

Certainly attitudes got worse after they became federalized.

administrator

I really want to visit Tonga. I have heard nothing but good things about their culture! But boy.. talk about humidity.

Kehaulani

@N1684T said in A little humour:

Certainly attitudes got worse after they became federalized.

When was the Transportation Security Administration not federal?

administrator

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

@N1684T said in A little humour:

Certainly attitudes got worse after they became federalized.

When was the Transportation Security Administration not federal?

It used to be Feral.

Dr GO

@administrator said in A little humour:

It used to be Feral.

Always thought a great name for a Jazz Combo would be "Feral Cats"

SSmith1226

The following is not meant to start any political discussions. The analogy applies to government under all leadership as well as huge corporations etc which are too large to manage efficiently:
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.

The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."

The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."

So the king continued on his way.

However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.

Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."

So the king hired the donkey.

And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.

barliman2001

@SSmith1226 There is a similar story about a Sultan's wish to see into the future. They brought an astrologer and clairvoyant who consulted the stars and his crystal ball and with a very sad face, came to the Sultan, saying, "Oh plentiful ruler, a sad future awaits you... All your family will die before you and you will yourself die a lonely man." - "Miserable worm! Get him the bastinado! And another soothsayer!"
The new man saw his predecessor howling in pain and approached the Sultan with his findings: "Oh happiest of mortals! I can predict a very long life for you. In fact, you will survive all of your greedy and mischievous relations!" - "A true wise man. Give him a life-long pension!"

SSmith1226

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world,
I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the mailman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops, and lives 15 years,
A tortoise doesn't run or do anything, yet it lives for 150 years.
And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
If all is not lost, then where is it?
It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
It is hard to make a comeback; when you haven't been anywhere.
The world only beats a path to your door; when you're in the bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes; he'd have put them on my knees.
When I'm finally holding all the right cards; everyone wants to play chess.
It is not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
Have I posted this message on Trumpet Bosrds before: or did I get it from here?