A little humour

J. Jericho

Is this how you celebrated National Doughnut Day?

J. Jericho

This post is deleted!

J. Jericho

If you'd like to see the link I deleted, chat me. I removed it because it's probably at least PG rated.

SSmith1226

This also might be effective in increasing range:

Vulgano Brother

BigDub

Yes, I go on the Internet. I see stupid people. Does that make me stupid?
If you are on Facebook and can’t find one spelling or grammatical error in the first minute, you may just be one of those people mentioned in the first sentence.

J. Jericho

Heard this yesterday:

When driving in a country where one drives on the left side of the road,
The left side is the right side;
The right side is suicide.

BigDub

What do French people call French doors?- doors?
What do Turkish people call Turkish taffy? Taffy?
Do the British have English muffins?
What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Dinner.
What do they call American food? Filling?
"Eat American food, not hungry for whole day!"

administrator

I'm still not sold on the whole "drive on the parkway, park on the driveway" thing.

SSmith1226

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SSmith1226

This post is deleted!

SSmith1226

Please excuse this post placed under “Humor”. It is about Father’s Day, and being posted on the day itself, I felt that the discussion would be very limited and short lived. Never the less I wanted to share my thoughts with the group. Being a comeback of three years I have done virtually no posting in the technical sections of trumpet playing, so I am posting these thoughts in the section that I have the highest comfort level in.
It’s Father’s Day today in the United States, which caused me to reflect on the past 40 years of my life. During this time I have lived in the Florida Keys, a 112 mile long chain of beautiful tropical islands interconnected with roads and bridges south of the Florida Peninsula. I raised my family there, and now my children, who are well into their own independent lives, are raising their children. Over the last 40 years I have witnessed many touching situations. The following is one of the most memorable and touching experiences I have had in the Keys involving a father and his children, outside of my own family. It’s about a friend of mine, Doug P....r who was born in the Keys, as were generations before him dating back to the mid 19th century, when they came over by boat from the Bahamas. Doug was a true “Conch”.
Doug P.....r lived all his life in the Florida Keys and was on his deathbed. He knew the end was near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, were with him. He asked for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes. This is where I came into the story as a witness. When all was ready he began to speak:
“My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses.”
“My daughter Sybil, I want you to take the offices over the Marathon Government Center.”
“My son, Jamie, I want you to take the apartments between Mile Marker 100 and Tavernier.”
“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound.”
The nurses and witnesses were literally blown away, as none of us realized that this wonderful man, the consummate father and husband, who lived his whole life so modestly had such extensive holdings. As Doug slipped quietly away, the nurse said, “Mrs. P....r, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property.
Sarah, his wife, replied, “The asshole had a paper route.”

BigDub

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

Please excuse this post placed under “Humor”. It is about Father’s Day, and being posted on the day itself, I felt that the discussion would be very limited and short lived. Never the less I wanted to share my thoughts with the group. Being a comeback of three years I have done virtually no posting in the technical sections of trumpet playing, so I am posting these thoughts in the section that I have the highest comfort level in.
It’s Father’s Day today in the United States, which caused me to reflect on the past 40 years of my life. During this time I have lived in the Florida Keys, a 112 mile long chain of beautiful tropical islands interconnected with roads and bridges south of the Florida Peninsula. I raised my family there, and now my children, who are well into their own independent lives, are raising their children. Over the last 40 years I have witnessed many touching situations. The following is one of the most memorable and touching experiences I have had in the Keys involving a father and his children, outside of my own family. It’s about a friend of mine, Doug P....r who was born in the Keys, as were generations before him dating back to the mid 19th century, when they came over by boat from the Bahamas. Doug was a true “Conch”.
Doug P.....r lived all his life in the Florida Keys and was on his deathbed. He knew the end was near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, were with him. He asked for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes. This is where I came into the story as a witness. When all was ready he began to speak:
“My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses.”
“My daughter Sybil, I want you to take the offices over the Marathon Government Center.”
“My son, Jamie, I want you to take the apartments between Mile Marker 100 and Tavernier.”
“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound.”
The nurses and witnesses were literally blown away, as none of us realized that this wonderful man, the consummate father and husband, who lived his whole life so modestly had such extensive holdings. As Doug slipped quietly away, the nurse said, “Mrs. P....r, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property.
Sarah, his wife, replied, “The asshole had a paper route.”

Why, I oughta........<|>…9¥@$$#$&” haha! You had me all the way till the end. Good one. What a setup! The name, the details....as if.......yeah, really got me good.

barliman2001

@SSmith1226 That reminds me of the deathbed of Solomon Grinspan. He's in his bedroom, surrounded by all his family. Feebly, he calls the names: "Rachel, my wife, are you here?" - "Yes, dearest." - "Abraham, my son, are you here?" - "Yes, Father, I am here." - " Aaron, my son, are you here?" - "Yes, Father, I am here." - "Rebecca, my daughter, are you here?" - "Yes, Father, I am by your side." Then, suddenly, old Solomon lifts himself up and cries aloud, "And who's in the shop??"

administrator

@barliman2001 said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 That reminds me of the deathbed of Solomon Grinspan. He's in his bedroom, surrounded by all his family. Feebly, he calls the names: "Rachel, my wife, are you here?" - "Yes, dearest." - "Abraham, my son, are you here?" - "Yes, Father, I am here." - " Aaron, my son, are you here?" - "Yes, Father, I am here." - "Rebecca, my daughter, are you here?" - "Yes, Father, I am by your side." Then, suddenly, old Solomon lifts himself up and cries aloud, "And who's in the shop??"

Good one!

SSmith1226

Dr GO

SSmith1226

@Vulgano-Brother said in A little humour:

Prequel
Imagine this: A knock on the door. The victim answers it. The President of the Condo Association says, “We have all taken a vote and want to offer you $150 for your Banjo.” The victim thinks about it and says, “No.”

BigDub

Then there’s this........

SSmith1226

@BigDub said in A little humour:

Then there’s this........

Variation 2 & 3