Posts made by moshe

@Dr-GO

I am right about everything
and those who disagree with me are wrong,
but I do not lash out at them.

I simply offer them condescending pity
and say,
"There but for the grace of God go I"...

:^) ^:) :^) :^) :^)

Morris / moshe

I absolutely hated the fighting in Trumpet Herald and in Trumpet Master.

Long-time members who acted like bullies year after year.

Moderators who let them get away with it.

Moderators banning the victims rather than the bullies.

But this new forum is a pleasant environment full of nice people.

Thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morris / moshe

The Conn 5A and the Conn 9A are identical,
but Conn Loyalist says that the Conn 9A has the feel of a larger bore.
I have owned 5 Conn 5A and 3 Conn 9A,
and I can verify that the Conn 9A demands more air
although it is the same bore size and wrap as a Conn 5A.
All interchangeable parts.
Only difference is Copper versus Brass.

Morris / moshe

Police followed the police bloodhound to a house.
The police knocked down the front door.
It turned out to be the wrong house.
The bad guy had never been there.

The police bloodhound was put on trial.

The blodhound was put in the witness stand.

The prosecutor yelled,
'Why did you lead police to the wrong house?"

The bloodhound replied,

"I was just following odors".

I wrote that stupid pun 2 days ago.
I get 25 cents royalty every time it is repeated.
If I am lucky,
10 years from now I will have a dollar.

Morris / moshe

@BigDub

I thought it was a stunningly beautiful photograph.

But another poster said that it is a painting?

Morris / moshe

If all other factors are the same,
a larger bore takes more air.

On the other hand, things such as tightness of the wrap can cause the larger bore to require less air than the smaller bore.

So the answer is the same as what I wear:

Depends.

moshe

Back in the 1980's I was watching a 1970's movie or TV show on TV and I was happy that one scene had Bill Chase music by the original artist playing in the background.

Anybody know what movie or TV show it was?

Do artists get a one-time payment or continuing residuals?

Morris / moshe

@Kehaulani

I didn't make a claim.

I asked a question based on appearnces.

"Apparently" has the same root as "appearnces".

moshe

Maynard was probably too nice to be a disciplinarian,
relying on someone else to do the necessary dirty work for him.
Stan Mark was apparently the disciplinarian for 9 years
so when the other band members rebelled against Stan Mark
Maynard fired Stan Mark by giving him a steak and wine dinner, not the way that Buddy Rich used to fire people:

Does anyone kow how strict or loose Maynard was as a band disciplinarian?

Moshe / Morris

@Vulgano-Brother said in A little humour:

OK. I give up. Explain it to me.

moshe

@Dr-GO

I have never seen "Spinal Tap",
but THAT was HILARIOUS !!!!!

moshe

@SSmith1226

Muscle weakness made me unable to play above the staff the last 5 years.
So no more Double C's.

Then couldn't even play a scale the last couple of years.

Now nursing home doesn't allow noise.
And my playing is best described as "noise".

But even Internet Wifi for the home was down for a week.
Now THAT was worse than no cornet !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

moshe

I went straight from hospital to nursing home 3 weeks ago.

So no more playing any instruments.

Oy...

@Robrtx said in A little humour:

@moshe said in A little humour:

@BigDub said in A little humour:

A man decides it’s about time he gives in and moves into a retirement home. He notices a woman staring at him as he gets settled in his room. Later, eating his meal he notices her again, just staring at him. She’s not even eating. Just sitting there. Everywhere he turns, there she is, staring. He finally can’t let this go any longer and decides to confront her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but I couldn’t help but notice that you keep looking at me everywhere I seem to go"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, she said, I couldn’t help but notice you look so much like my third husband"
Now he felt a little bad for calling her on it like that, so he said, "How many husbands did you have?"
"Two"

---

After 34 years of marriage, my wife decided that she wanted a divorce.
I still don't understand why.
She received the final court decree on her birthday, April 3.

Because of my severe health problems,
I have spent 2 years desperately trying to get into a nursing home,
but I have been unsuccessful.

So I have been daydreaming about the above post event happening to me.

But what are the chances that one of the other residents is a slender 20-year-old lady who wants to date a 63-year-old who is near death and has no money to his name?

I am a romantic trapped in Stephen Hawkings' body.

moshe

I'm sorry for your hardships and sincerely hope that you soon find an arrangement that brings comfort to your life........

(........kinda puts a damper on the ole "humour" thread)

" I'm sorry for your hardships and sincerely hope that you soon find an arrangement that brings comfort to your life........
(........kinda puts a damper on the ole "humour" thread)"

Yeah.
I tried to commit suicide, but the damn can of Dr Pepper kept mis-firing.

moshe

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

I think you might reconsider how tasteful using that Steven Hawkins analogy is.

I don't understand what's so difficult with moving into a "nursing home", either. In my experience all you have to do is choose a facility within your budget and do it.

Not judging, just asking.

The nursing homes that are most desirable in terms of proper medical care and decent food have at least a 2-year waiting list for residents who will pay with Medicaid.

I do not understand what was distasteful about my mentioning Stephen Hawkings.
I am sure that he considered himself "trapped" in his body, but he learned to live with it because he had no choice.
And I am sure that he saw young women with whom he wanted a romantic relationship but he realized the futility of such romantic desire.

moshe

@BigDub said in A little humour:

A man decides it’s about time he gives in and moves into a retirement home. He notices a woman staring at him as he gets settled in his room. Later, eating his meal he notices her again, just staring at him. She’s not even eating. Just sitting there. Everywhere he turns, there she is, staring. He finally can’t let this go any longer and decides to confront her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but I couldn’t help but notice that you keep looking at me everywhere I seem to go"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, she said, I couldn’t help but notice you look so much like my third husband"
Now he felt a little bad for calling her on it like that, so he said, "How many husbands did you have?"
"Two"

After 34 years of marriage, my wife decided that she wanted a divorce.
I still don't understand why.
She received the final court decree on her birthday, April 3.

Because of my severe health problems,
I have spent 2 years desperately trying to get into a nursing home,
but I have been unsuccessful.

So I have been daydreaming about the above post event happening to me.

But what are the chances that one of the other residents is a slender 20-year-old lady who wants to date a 63-year-old who is near death and has no money to his name?

I am a romantic trapped in Stephen Hawkings' body.

moshe

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@moshe said

I am stuck in Louisville, Kentucky now
because this is where I came for a job more than 25 years ago....

I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?

How did I miss this!!! “The Louisville Slugger- 100% Wood” or “The All Wood Louisville Slugger”

I don't know whether to say "Shame on you" or award you a gift certificate to "Outback Steak House".

Now I have to try to wipe this smile off my face for the rest of the day...

moshe

@Dr-GO said in pet peeves:

@Tobylou8 said in pet peeves:

To, too. two true! It can be so, sew annoying!

Now THAT is just knit picking!

You should have been writing scripts for the old 1930's and 1940's radio shows.

A million people across America would simultaneously groan at bad puns, just as the writers intended.

I won't recite the entire routine, but I'll go straight to the punch-line from a 1940's Edgar Bergen ventriloquist show:

Dumb Mortimer Snerd asks the lumber yard owner about some boards that are lying on the ground:

Mortimer: "What are them there holes?"

Lumber yard guy says "Those are knot holes."

Mortimer yells back "They are so holes !!!!! Just look at 'em !!!!!!!"

moshe

@mafields627 said in pet peeves:

People that say "on today" instead of just saying "today."

That's like everyone on TV who says "tuna-fish sandwich".

What other kind of animal would "tuna" be other than "fish".

No other kind of fish is called "xxxx-fish".

New Yorkers who say "standing on line" instead of "standing in line".

People on TV who keep saying "I was laying down" when they mean "I was lying down".

People on TV who say "I'll drive further" when they mean "I'll drive farther."

People on TV who say "mis-CHEE-vee-us" when ther is no extra "i" in the word to
justify that pronunciation.

People on TV who say "conversate" instead of "converse".

Wow.
Only 9,980 pet peeves to go...

moshe

Dictionary says that "judgment" is the correct spelling,
although 50 years ago "judgement" would have been the correct spelling.

We "must" drop that "e" before the "-ment".

But for "management" we are "required" to keep that "e" before the "-ment".

And for "encouragement" we are "required" to keep that "e" before the "-ment".

Why the change for "judgement" / "judgment"?
If enough stupid people spell a word incorrectly for a long enough period of time,
then the publishers of the dictionaries finally give in and change the official spelling "due to evolution of the spelling by the general population".

That is also how "bad" came to mean "good" in American urban slang 50 years ago.

Society is going to heck in a hand-basket.

Now I just have 9,999 other pet peeves to post...

Such as countless people on TV who say, "He talked to you and I".
They apparently did not have to graduate from 3rd grade to become a TV writer or TV host or TV reporter.

moshe