A little humour

administrator

@administrator said in A little humour:

Well, as the song goes:

"I was gonna practice my horn, but then I got high!"

(Note: I am NOT recommending this!)

I saw this joke on line and thought it was appropriate:

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know." A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!" The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative. Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!" The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?" "I'm a musician, I play the trumpet." The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat.

Hey, extended periods of fasting can have profound benefit to the body!

barliman2001

@SSmith1226
In Vienna, where public conveniences are rare and far between, a man had an urge... no proper location anywhere. When he tried a street corner and a tree in a park, he was chased away. Finally, in desperation, he entered a doctor's surgery. Claiming urgency, he was ushered in at once and explained that he just couldn't... Seconds later, the doc watched an extraordinary performance... "Why," asked he the guy, "did you say you couldn't?" - "Oh, I can," says the guy, "but only if they give me a chance!"

SSmith1226

@barliman2001
St Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter. The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations." St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!" The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children." "Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?" The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime." "Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?”

Kehaulani

@barliman2001 said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226
In Vienna, where public conveniences are rare and far between, a man had an urge... no proper location anywhere . . Finally, in desperation, he entered a doctor's surgery.

I can vouch for that, personally. Once, in Germany, I had to go and the nearest facility was a doctor's office. Getting met with quizzical looks on the faces of the staff as I walked by them, I went in like I owned the place, used their toilet and left. The staff looked quizzically at each other with a, "Who the hell was that guy?", look on their faces.

BigDub

@Kehaulani
Similar but not exactly the same thing as that, I had arranged it in my senior year of high school to have a study hall for my last period ( I doubt they even have those any more ) but anyway, I got very bored with it and to top it off I had a part time job after school, so the sooner I could get there, the sooner I could start making money. A whopping $1.75 an hour, mind you. So I decided to walk confidently by the teacher standing by the exit door, smile at him, say have a nice afternoon, and get in my car and leave.
Not once did anyone ask questions or even look sideways at me. We were not allowed to leave any time we wished. But I figured if I looked casual enough, well, you know. And guess what class I dropped to turn it into study hall? Art. I couldn’t stand it.

Kehaulani

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@Kehaulani
A whopping $1.75 an hour, mind you.

I can believe it, because I used to make 85 cents an hour and that was as a sophomore in college.

BigDub

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@Kehaulani
A whopping $1.75 an hour, mind you.

I can believe it, because I used to make 85 cents an hour and that was as a sophomore in college.

Well, yes, Uncle K, but you are so much older.....

administrator

I believe that $0.85/hour would be very reasonable in 1639 money.

stumac

When I started work in 1956 at 17 my pay was 25 cents per hour, 3 months later I turned 18 and my pay doubled.

Regards, Stuart.

BigDub

@stumac said in A little humour:

When I started work in 1956 at 17 my pay was 25 cents per hour, 3 months later I turned 18 and my pay doubled.

Regards, Stuart.

In 1956 my Dad's Uncle Mangnus ( very Norwegian ) would give us boys 50 cents just for visiting he and Aunt Olga in Brooklyn. They had no kids. This brought them tremendous joy.

SSmith1226

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@stumac said in A little humour:

When I started work in 1956 at 17 my pay was 25 cents per hour, 3 months later I turned 18 and my pay doubled.

Regards, Stuart.

In 1956 my Dad's Uncle Mangnus ( very Norwegian ) would give us boys 50 cents just for visiting he and Aunt Olga in Brooklyn. They had no kids. This brought them tremendous joy.

Stuart and big dub,
You don’t know how well you had it. A 1956 $1.00 in 1975 terms, was worth $1.98. In 1974 - 1975 as a physician (Surgical Intern) I made $5,000 per year for working 110-120 hours per week at Charity Hospital of New Orleans. This averages out to $0.84 per hour in that time frame or $0.41 per hour in 1956 dollars. Over the following 4 years my salary increased $0.20 per hour per year. At that time I was responsible for running the Trauma and Emergency Surgical Service 36 out of 48 hours in this large City Hospital all for $1.64 per hour ( $0.80 per hour in 1956 dollars).
The good news was when I had a few hours off when working in some of the other Louisiana State Charity Hospitals I could moonlight as an ER Physician and make $7.50 per hour. The only catch was that I (or any other ER moonlighter) was not allowed to leave the ER until all patients that signed in on my shift was seen and given disposition by me. That generally required a minimum of four more hours of my time at no pay. Never the less this seemed like a fortune to me. Of course my expenses were minimum. I lived in scrub suits and my wife bought my underwear. I also ate in the hospital cafeteria.
No wonder I had to quit playing trumpet for 44 years.

BigDub

You win Steve. I wasn’t even really competing. That fifty cents I referred to was a fortune, to us. For doing absolutely nothing, except being a child, and not bragging here, his favorite for some reason. I think I took after him the most, so Aunt Olga and Uncle Mangnus doted on me quite obviously, now that I think about it.

SSmith1226

@BigDub
I didn’t mean to post this as a competition. To be honest with you, I never gave what I posted any thought until I saw the posts above mine and started doing the math. I then realized how ludicrous the pay was even at those times. Prior to my arrival to New Orleans I was a student for 21 years and considered those years in New Orleans as additional school experience. If asked of me, I would have some how paid for the experience. To actually be paid, although minimal, was great. Those were some of the best years of my life.

BigDub

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@BigDub
I didn’t mean to post this as a competition. To be honest with you, I never gave what I posted any thought until I saw the posts above mine and started doing the math. I then realized how ludicrous the pay was even at those times. Prior to my arrival to New Orleans I was a student for 21 years and considered those years in New Orleans as additional school experience. If asked of me, I would have some how paid for the experience. To actually be paid, although minimal, was great. Those were some of the best years of my life.

No worries, Steve. Believe me I was not the least offended. I really believe you did work cheap. Over the years, I have worked cheap, and never really made a lot of money at any time. But overall, I never wanted for more, never went hungry, and never felt deprived in any way. I passed on a promotion at one point, but it didn’t even come close to hearing my son tell me when he was a senior in HS that he didn’t think he could count on one hand how many games I ever missed seeing him play from t-ball all the way through high school. Bottom line, I am blessed beyond anything I could have asked for.

Dr GO

I know this is a humor thread, but the latest discussions has been the "humor" around wages in the 1970's. I would add to this discussion a rather "humorous" twist to wage comparisons to today being so low in relation to today's wages. During the 1970's, I had experienced the opposite effect.

From 1974 to 1977, I played in a very successful rock band. We played as a house band 4 nights a week and were able to typically book a 5th day of the weekend at other venues. Our manager made sure all venues (including the house band gig) paid us $100 a man... Yes, in the mid 1970's! So as a college student I was bringing in $400-500 a week at a time when my tuition was $300 a quarter, and room rent was $86 a month. Needless to say, I needed no parental financial support, was able to buy my own car, pay for my own food (I did go home on weekends to do laundry at Mom's house), and save money in my first personal bank account.

Today, I have to really fight when on my own to get a gig that pays me a $100 performance fee. Fortunately, when I get a Union gig, I will receive more then the acceptable $100 minimum. So not much has changed from club's willingness to pay musicians from 1970 to 2020 dollars. Actually, there is really not much humor in this comparison, but it is laughable!

Dr GO

HOWEVER: If you do want a bit of humor to the above post, here is a picture of me in the band that paid my way through college.

moshe

In the 1970's I frequently earned $00.00 per hour for being unemployed and homeless.

I win the contest !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe that nightmare has finally paid off 40 years later...

moshe

Vulgano Brother

How I earned my way through college. On C trumpet.

Our sax player was from Mississippi, and it took around six months to understand his talk.

moshe

@Vulgano-Brother said

Our sax player was from Mississippi, and it took around six months to understand his talk.

I am from Missouri.

I am stuck in Louisville, Kentucky now
because this is where I came for a job more than 25 years ago.

500 miles creates a huge language barrier.

I was in a hospital for Congestive Heart Failure the last several days.

A heart lab tech told me that a heart test would take "several hours" that I knew my advanced spine disease could not tolerate.

But then a heart doctor told me that the test would take "2 or 3 hours".

I later asked the lab tech about the discrepancy.

He replied:

"Yeah. 2 or 3 hours. Several hours. That's what I said."

In my home state of Missouri,
"2 or 3" just barely qualifies as "a few",
but it certainly does not qualify as "several".

But...
according to Kentucky standards,
I was a sexual legend 25 years ago.
Because "3 minutes" qualifies as "several hours" in Kentucky.
I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?

moshe

Dr GO

@moshe said in A little humour:

I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?

moshe

Well, currently "Stormy Daniels" has a popular following...
How about "Cyclone Moshe"?