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    A little humour

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    • J. Jericho
      J. Jericho Global Moderator last edited by

      8adf514f-3e9c-4c93-9b7c-73c8927b9eda-image.png

      '62 Olds Studio Trumpet
      '67 Olds Special Trumpet
      2013 Dillon Pocket Trumpet
      '83 Yamaha YFH-731 Flugelhorn
      1919 York Perfec-Tone Cornet
      '50 Olds Studio Trombone
      Shofar

      "If it was just up to me, I'd only have trumpet players on my show." - Jackie Gleason

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
      • SSmith1226
        SSmith1226 last edited by

        An employee went to speak to his boss. “Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?”
        “Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?” the boss said.
        “Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this firm for over ten years.”
        “Yes.”
        “I won’t beat around the bush,” the employee said. “Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first. I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.”
        The boss answered: “Taking into account these factors, and considering I don’t want to start a brain drain, I’m willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?”

        “Great! It’s a deal! Thank you, sir!”
        “Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?” the boss asked.
        “Oh, the electric company, gas company, water company and the mortgage company!”

        Steve Smith

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
        • Dr GO
          Dr GO last edited by

          1bd9f244-9a61-4810-8618-aa6e36bc5c6d-image.png

          Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
          Harrelson Summit 2017
          Kanstul 1526 2012
          Getzen Power Bore 1961
          Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
          Martin Committee 1946
          Olds Super Recording 1940
          Olds Recording (LA) 1953
          Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
          Olds Ambassador 1965

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
          • J. Jericho
            J. Jericho Global Moderator last edited by

            e7e36118-ed03-4fec-9710-91d9d8d0778b-image.png

            '62 Olds Studio Trumpet
            '67 Olds Special Trumpet
            2013 Dillon Pocket Trumpet
            '83 Yamaha YFH-731 Flugelhorn
            1919 York Perfec-Tone Cornet
            '50 Olds Studio Trombone
            Shofar

            "If it was just up to me, I'd only have trumpet players on my show." - Jackie Gleason

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
            • SSmith1226
              SSmith1226 last edited by SSmith1226

              [9CACC526-2DEB-4BF9-B9B1-63BD29985E51.jpeg

              Steve Smith

              Kehaulani 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
              • J. Jericho
                J. Jericho Global Moderator last edited by

                A blast from the past... one of my all-time favorite short films:

                '62 Olds Studio Trumpet
                '67 Olds Special Trumpet
                2013 Dillon Pocket Trumpet
                '83 Yamaha YFH-731 Flugelhorn
                1919 York Perfec-Tone Cornet
                '50 Olds Studio Trombone
                Shofar

                "If it was just up to me, I'd only have trumpet players on my show." - Jackie Gleason

                Kehaulani 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • Kehaulani
                  Kehaulani Credentialed Professional @SSmith1226 last edited by Kehaulani

                  @SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

                  (/assets/uploads/files/1579477229625-9cacc526-2deb-4bf9-b9b1-63bd29985e51.jpeg)

                  Unfunny.

                  Benge 3X
                  Martin Committee
                  Getzen Capri Cornet
                  Adams F-1 Flugelhorn

                  "If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn."
                  Charlie Parker

                  "Even if I could play like Wynton Marsalis, I wouldn't play like Wynton Marsalis."
                  Chet Baker

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • Kehaulani
                    Kehaulani Credentialed Professional @J. Jericho last edited by Kehaulani

                    @J-Jericho

                    Just as I was getting a little bored with the redundancy, the kicker came. Clever.

                    BTW, Terri Garr is to die for.

                    Benge 3X
                    Martin Committee
                    Getzen Capri Cornet
                    Adams F-1 Flugelhorn

                    "If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn."
                    Charlie Parker

                    "Even if I could play like Wynton Marsalis, I wouldn't play like Wynton Marsalis."
                    Chet Baker

                    J. Jericho 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • J. Jericho
                      J. Jericho Global Moderator @Kehaulani last edited by

                      @Kehaulani said in A little humour:

                      @J-Jericho

                      Just as I was getting a little bored with the redundancy, the kicker came. Clever.

                      BTW, Terri Garr is to die for.

                      She's got a great attitude, which helps her cope with her health issues.

                      '62 Olds Studio Trumpet
                      '67 Olds Special Trumpet
                      2013 Dillon Pocket Trumpet
                      '83 Yamaha YFH-731 Flugelhorn
                      1919 York Perfec-Tone Cornet
                      '50 Olds Studio Trombone
                      Shofar

                      "If it was just up to me, I'd only have trumpet players on my show." - Jackie Gleason

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • administrator
                        administrator Global Moderator last edited by

                        Let's try to keep things as non-offensive as possible. Thanks.

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • SSmith1226
                          SSmith1226 last edited by

                          I have seen this one before but I can’t remember whether it was here, or even worse whether I posted it. I apologize in advance if either of these are affirmative.

                          A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
                          Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.
                          The old gentleman said: “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always and will always be shared, 50/50.”
                          Touched by the beautiful display of love, the young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat. She shook her head kindly and replied: “It’s his turn with the teeth.”

                          Steve Smith

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • SSmith1226
                            SSmith1226 last edited by

                            Mea Culpa!!! I did post a variation of that joke Five months ago. For my penance, since this is a music site, I give you “Mea Culpa “ by Enigma.

                            Steve Smith

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • Dr GO
                              Dr GO last edited by

                              b0e77439-a82e-4018-8a46-2105237221c5-image.png

                              Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                              Harrelson Summit 2017
                              Kanstul 1526 2012
                              Getzen Power Bore 1961
                              Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                              Martin Committee 1946
                              Olds Super Recording 1940
                              Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                              Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                              Olds Ambassador 1965

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • J. Jericho
                                J. Jericho Global Moderator last edited by

                                In case you haven't seen this one yet...

                                IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED….

                                A friend of mine has two tickets to the 2020 Super Bowl here in Miami, both box seats. He paid $11,500 each. They come with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, and $400 bar tab. Also, 2 back stage passes to the winner’s locker room.

                                He didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

                                If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place…it’s at St Stephen's Church here in Miami at 3:00 PM that Saturday. Her name is Ashley, she’s 5’4”, about 115 lbs. , and she is a good cook too. She loves to fish and hunt. She’ll be the one in the white dress, up front.

                                '62 Olds Studio Trumpet
                                '67 Olds Special Trumpet
                                2013 Dillon Pocket Trumpet
                                '83 Yamaha YFH-731 Flugelhorn
                                1919 York Perfec-Tone Cornet
                                '50 Olds Studio Trombone
                                Shofar

                                "If it was just up to me, I'd only have trumpet players on my show." - Jackie Gleason

                                Dr GO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                • Dr GO
                                  Dr GO @J. Jericho last edited by

                                  @J-Jericho said in A little humour:

                                  In case you haven't seen this one yet...

                                  IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED….

                                  A friend of mine has two tickets to the 2020 Super Bowl here in Miami, both box seats. He paid $11,500 each. They come with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, and $400 bar tab. Also, 2 back stage passes to the winner’s locker room.

                                  He didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

                                  If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place…it’s at St Stephen's Church here in Miami at 3:00 PM that Saturday. Her name is Ashley, she’s 5’4”, about 115 lbs. , and she is a good cook too. She loves to fish and hunt. She’ll be the one in the white dress, up front.

                                  My only question before considering assisting, has the wedding ring already been purchased?

                                  Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                                  Harrelson Summit 2017
                                  Kanstul 1526 2012
                                  Getzen Power Bore 1961
                                  Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                                  Martin Committee 1946
                                  Olds Super Recording 1940
                                  Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                                  Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                                  Olds Ambassador 1965

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • Dr GO
                                    Dr GO last edited by

                                    On second thought, that's ok, I yield as Vulgano Brother could use a nice home.

                                    Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                                    Harrelson Summit 2017
                                    Kanstul 1526 2012
                                    Getzen Power Bore 1961
                                    Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                                    Martin Committee 1946
                                    Olds Super Recording 1940
                                    Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                                    Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                                    Olds Ambassador 1965

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • Dr GO
                                      Dr GO last edited by

                                      How do you get a trumpet player to play triple forte on his part?

                                      Mark mezzo piano on the score.

                                      Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                                      Harrelson Summit 2017
                                      Kanstul 1526 2012
                                      Getzen Power Bore 1961
                                      Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                                      Martin Committee 1946
                                      Olds Super Recording 1940
                                      Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                                      Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                                      Olds Ambassador 1965

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • Dr GO
                                        Dr GO last edited by

                                        How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?

                                        Take away their instrument.

                                        Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                                        Harrelson Summit 2017
                                        Kanstul 1526 2012
                                        Getzen Power Bore 1961
                                        Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                                        Martin Committee 1946
                                        Olds Super Recording 1940
                                        Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                                        Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                                        Olds Ambassador 1965

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • Dr GO
                                          Dr GO last edited by

                                          What's the difference between God and a trumpet player?

                                          God knows He is not a trumpet player.

                                          Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                                          Harrelson Summit 2017
                                          Kanstul 1526 2012
                                          Getzen Power Bore 1961
                                          Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                                          Martin Committee 1946
                                          Olds Super Recording 1940
                                          Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                                          Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                                          Olds Ambassador 1965

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • Dr GO
                                            Dr GO last edited by

                                            How are trumpet players like pirates?

                                            They both murder on the high C's.

                                            Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                                            Harrelson Summit 2017
                                            Kanstul 1526 2012
                                            Getzen Power Bore 1961
                                            Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                                            Martin Committee 1946
                                            Olds Super Recording 1940
                                            Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                                            Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                                            Olds Ambassador 1965

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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