A little humour
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...
Means the other side is nothing but brass!
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@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...Means the other side is nothing but brass!
That is a BRAVE thing to say!
Reminds of the this pawn shop but two instead of three.
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@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...Means the other side is nothing but brass!
... or this is a photo of low brass.
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Here's an oldie:
In a funeral home, the family of the deceased had brought his blue suit in which to dress him for the viewing. When they returned later, they noticed that he was wearing a brown suit. When they brought it to the funeral director's attention, he said: "Give me a minute." He wheeled the casket into the next room and reappeared a minute later. The family asked how he was able to change the suit so fast. The funeral director replied: "I didn't switch suits; I just switched heads."
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You're killing me with these funeral jokes.
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My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT! -
In my neighborhood where I grew up as a child, I was very offended by this sign displayed close to my house:
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@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:
My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!I believe all of these I have lived through personally. Me on the smarter side of the equation........usually
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Seen today in Horseshoe Bend, Idaho.
Pretty clever.
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@BigDub said in A little humour:
Seen today in Horseshoe Bend, Idaho.
Pretty clever.@BigDub said in A little humour:
YUmmmmm..... DISFIGURED Finger licking good!
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@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
@BigDub said in A little humour:
People say to me, "A penny for your thoughts?".
But then they want change.
Hey. You can send me one of your paintings that are a product of your thoughts on canvas for a penny.
You can keep the change!Sorry, didn’t see this one till just now. I wasn’t ignoring it. At first. Now I am.
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...I believe that looks like a Bach Suppositorious
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Those late night TV commercials. I don’t know why but they strike me so funny. And by late night, I mean, like after 9:30.
The ones that show the exaggerated comparisons. Those.
And the FLEX SEAL guy. His are awesome. -
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@BigDub said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!
@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...I believe that looks like a Bach Suppositorious
It’s a Brass Hole!!! By the way, a Brass Hole can also be defined as an arrogant trumpet player.
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It’s been quiet so here it goes:
An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and German were watching a street magician. The magician realized that they couldn’t see him well so he stepped up on a high box. The magician said, “Can you see me now?”
They answered,
Yes
Oui
Si
JaSteve Smith
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
It’s been quiet so here it goes:
An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and German were watching a street magician. The magician realized that they couldn’t see him well so he stepped up on a high box. The magician said, “Can you see me now?”
They answered,
Yes
Oui
Si
JaYou see, now, that there is funny. However, you must be fluid in 4 languages like myself to get it.
I bet you said to yourself, "what a moron, fluid?
It's supposed to be, fluent!"
Well, you should have said so.
