A little humour
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@moshe said in A little humour:
I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?How about BIG BAD MOSHE or just BIG MOSHE or MUY GRANDE MOSHE or MAN MOUNTAIN MOSHE or MOSHE THE MAGNIFICENT!!!
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@Dr-GO said in A little humour:
@moshe said in A little humour:
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?moshe
Well, currently "Stormy Daniels" has a popular following...
How about "Cyclone Moshe"?
"Cyclone Moshe" reminds me too much of what the Walter character said in a ventriloquist Jeff Dunham skit.
"Exciting at first, but ends in disaster."moshe
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
@moshe said in A little humour:
I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?How about BIG BAD MOSHE or just BIG MOSHE or MUY GRANDE
MOSHE or MAN MOUNTAIN MOSHE or MOSHE THE MAGNIFICENT!!!But I am such a humble man...
Maybe it would be OK as long as it is other people talking about me.
Maybe I could use that line that was used many times by Walter Brennan in the 1960's TV show "The Guns of Will Sonnet":
"I'm the fastest. No brag. Just fact."
moshe
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@moshe said
I am stuck in Louisville, Kentucky now
because this is where I came for a job more than 25 years ago....I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?How did I miss this!!! “The Louisville Slugger- 100% Wood” or “The All Wood Louisville Slugger”
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
@moshe said
I am stuck in Louisville, Kentucky now
because this is where I came for a job more than 25 years ago....I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?How did I miss this!!! “The Louisville Slugger- 100% Wood” or “The All Wood Louisville Slugger”
I don't know whether to say "Shame on you" or award you a gift certificate to "Outback Steak House".
Now I have to try to wipe this smile off my face for the rest of the day...
moshe
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@moshe said in [A little humour](/post
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?How did I miss this!!! “The Louisville Slugger- 100% Wood” or “The All Wood Louisville Slugger”
I don't know whether to say "Shame on you" or award you a gift certificate to "Outback Steak House".
Now I have to try to wipe this smile off my face for the rest of the day...
moshe
The gift certificate will be fine. You can see from the photo below that this suggestion was “very innocent”.
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A man decides it’s about time he gives in and moves into a retirement home. He notices a woman staring at him as he gets settled in his room. Later, eating his meal he notices her again, just staring at him. She’s not even eating. Just sitting there. Everywhere he turns, there she is, staring. He finally can’t let this go any longer and decides to confront her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but I couldn’t help but notice that you keep looking at me everywhere I seem to go"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, she said, I couldn’t help but notice you look so much like my third husband"
Now he felt a little bad for calling her on it like that, so he said, "How many husbands did you have?"
"Two" -
@BigDub said in A little humour:
A man decides it’s about time he gives in and moves into a retirement home. He notices a woman staring at him as he gets settled in his room. Later, eating his meal he notices her again, just staring at him. She’s not even eating. Just sitting there. Everywhere he turns, there she is, staring. He finally can’t let this go any longer and decides to confront her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but I couldn’t help but notice that you keep looking at me everywhere I seem to go"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, she said, I couldn’t help but notice you look so much like my third husband"
Now he felt a little bad for calling her on it like that, so he said, "How many husbands did you have?"
"Two"
After 34 years of marriage, my wife decided that she wanted a divorce.
I still don't understand why.
She received the final court decree on her birthday, April 3.Because of my severe health problems,
I have spent 2 years desperately trying to get into a nursing home,
but I have been unsuccessful.So I have been daydreaming about the above post event happening to me.
But what are the chances that one of the other residents is a slender 20-year-old lady who wants to date a 63-year-old who is near death and has no money to his name?
I am a romantic trapped in Stephen Hawkings' body.
moshe
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I think you might reconsider how tasteful using that Steven Hawkins analogy is.
I don't understand what's so difficult with moving into a "nursing home", either. In my experience all you have to do is choose a facility within your budget and do it.
Not judging, just asking.
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@moshe said in A little humour:
@BigDub said in A little humour:
A man decides it’s about time he gives in and moves into a retirement home. He notices a woman staring at him as he gets settled in his room. Later, eating his meal he notices her again, just staring at him. She’s not even eating. Just sitting there. Everywhere he turns, there she is, staring. He finally can’t let this go any longer and decides to confront her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but I couldn’t help but notice that you keep looking at me everywhere I seem to go"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, she said, I couldn’t help but notice you look so much like my third husband"
Now he felt a little bad for calling her on it like that, so he said, "How many husbands did you have?"
"Two"
After 34 years of marriage, my wife decided that she wanted a divorce.
I still don't understand why.
She received the final court decree on her birthday, April 3.Because of my severe health problems,
I have spent 2 years desperately trying to get into a nursing home,
but I have been unsuccessful.So I have been daydreaming about the above post event happening to me.
But what are the chances that one of the other residents is a slender 20-year-old lady who wants to date a 63-year-old who is near death and has no money to his name?
I am a romantic trapped in Stephen Hawkings' body.
moshe
I'm sorry for your hardships and sincerely hope that you soon find an arrangement that brings comfort to your life........
(........kinda puts a damper on the ole "humour" thread)
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@Kehaulani said in A little humour:
I think you might reconsider how tasteful using that Steven Hawkins analogy is.
I don't understand what's so difficult with moving into a "nursing home", either. In my experience all you have to do is choose a facility within your budget and do it.
Not judging, just asking.
The nursing homes that are most desirable in terms of proper medical care and decent food have at least a 2-year waiting list for residents who will pay with Medicaid.
I do not understand what was distasteful about my mentioning Stephen Hawkings.
I am sure that he considered himself "trapped" in his body, but he learned to live with it because he had no choice.
And I am sure that he saw young women with whom he wanted a romantic relationship but he realized the futility of such romantic desire.moshe
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@Robrtx said in A little humour:
@moshe said in A little humour:
@BigDub said in A little humour:
A man decides it’s about time he gives in and moves into a retirement home. He notices a woman staring at him as he gets settled in his room. Later, eating his meal he notices her again, just staring at him. She’s not even eating. Just sitting there. Everywhere he turns, there she is, staring. He finally can’t let this go any longer and decides to confront her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but I couldn’t help but notice that you keep looking at me everywhere I seem to go"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, she said, I couldn’t help but notice you look so much like my third husband"
Now he felt a little bad for calling her on it like that, so he said, "How many husbands did you have?"
"Two"
After 34 years of marriage, my wife decided that she wanted a divorce.
I still don't understand why.
She received the final court decree on her birthday, April 3.Because of my severe health problems,
I have spent 2 years desperately trying to get into a nursing home,
but I have been unsuccessful.So I have been daydreaming about the above post event happening to me.
But what are the chances that one of the other residents is a slender 20-year-old lady who wants to date a 63-year-old who is near death and has no money to his name?
I am a romantic trapped in Stephen Hawkings' body.
moshe
I'm sorry for your hardships and sincerely hope that you soon find an arrangement that brings comfort to your life........
(........kinda puts a damper on the ole "humour" thread)
" I'm sorry for your hardships and sincerely hope that you soon find an arrangement that brings comfort to your life........
(........kinda puts a damper on the ole "humour" thread)"Yeah.
I tried to commit suicide, but the damn can of Dr Pepper kept mis-firing.moshe
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Q: Do you play the Trumpet Voluntary?
A: No, my parents made me do it. -
@Vulgano-Brother said in A little humour:
Q: Do you play the Trumpet Voluntary?
A: No, my parents made me do it.....however, I'd prefer if you'd play "Long Ago and Far Away"
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I went to see the Dr. because I was constipated but I never paid the bill.........
........it was a non-binding contract
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My teachers hated me.
I was home schooled.
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@Vulgano-Brother said in A little humour:
My teachers hated me.
I was home schooled.
...AND even then, still spent most of the time in the principal's office!
