Some Encouraging Voting News


  • Breaking news from City Hall in downtown Egan, Texas...

    The people of Egan have spoken and it is with great humility and astrophysics that I accept the unanimous consent of the 28ish people of Egan who have sent a resounding message to Washington.

    I want to thank all 28 of you who have placed your faith in me again. I categorically refute the notion that it’s not a “real mayoral office”because it’s not a “real town”. Why else would the highway department make and mount signs in six different places pointing you in the right direction to Egan? Two have how far from Egan you are...one says 2 miles the other says 3. No really, why do they do that?

    Even though no one has ever actually pulled into the Egan Mobil gas station and said, “Hey buddy, which way to Egan?” Cuz the answer would be, “You’re here.” The signs are there just in case you need it and it’s comforting, just like the bald eagle, Elvis Presley and cream of wheat.

    We have decided to curtail (means we won’t do it) the celebration victory party because there’s a burn ban and last time we burned down a really nice barn and two sheds. And it took four weeks to get all the confetti out of that hay bailer.

    So as the world wakes up to not know’n who the next President is, here in Egan we know that we know that we know who the Mayor is.

    I never got the obligatory concession call from my opponent (he’s from Mary’s Town anyway...outsider!) just a simple text, “Hey, it’s late I’m gunna watch Gun Smoke, it’s 28-0 you can have it.” Thanks Earl.

    hashtagstillCovidfreeinEgan
    hashtagEganistooarealtown
    hashtagya’llslowdownonFM917

    God Bless Egan, Texas and God Bless America.

    Update: there was zero Russian collusion in the Egan mayoral race election, we have no idea what collusion is but Russia is like way on the other side of the globe on my desk so, no I don’t think they colluded.

    Update #2: We thought we found a few uncounted votes behind the bus barn, it was just used scratch off lottery tickets. Wow, that’ll make your heart skip a beat. No, we had the election in the bag...I thought there was one unscratched.

  • Global Moderator

    I had to look that one up on the map.


  • Next time I visit my son in Athens, I’ll come and check out Egan to see if you are doing a good job.

  • Qualified Repair Techs

    Congrats! I had to look it up, too - looks like your town has about 1000 more people than my hometown! The town I live in now surprisingly has a population of about 81,000. You would never know - my neighbors are on at least an acre apiece and there’s a horse farm across the street. It’s nice living somewhere that feels small but still having all the big city access.
    I hope your term as mayor goes well and you are able to do lots of good things for your community! Not easy, even in a small place!


  • Eaganerly anticipating your Presidential run!


  • I would contest the election and see whether I could get out of it.


  • FWIW, I appear to have won my campaign for election to the city council of my small-ish Silicon Valley city.


  • @Newell-Post said in Some Encouraging Voting News:

    FWIW, I appear to have won my campaign for election to the city council of my small-ish Silicon Valley city.

    Local politics - wow, that brings back memories. My congratulations now and condolences when it sinks in.

    Hope you have a strong liver!


  • For clarification, while I do live in a rural Texas suburb, I'm not from Egan, and I didn't win the mayor race. That was just a funny election day notice I saw last week, and thought I would share as a humorous distraction from the greater political drama.

    I do appreciate the congratulations, and may use this momentum to run for office. If I can just build on the trumpet player voting base, I feel like I could run on a platform of making the trumpet our official national instrument, making it illegal to play viola in public, and maybe build National Mouthpiece Safari Parks.


  • @neal085 said in Some Encouraging Voting News:
    ,,,I feel like I could run on a platform of making the trumpet our official national instrument, making it illegal to play viola in public, and maybe build National Mouthpiece Safari Parks.

    These items definitely get my vote!