A little humour

Kehaulani

It's a pity that this forum has no moderator to remove shit threads like this one and some more. But if the doctors are enjoying it.... I don't want to spoil their play, better for me to log out.

I agree this forum is more of a Lounge than a substantial trumpet technique forum, but this IS the Humor Thread.

Bob Pixley

@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda.

It was a Fanta Sea

A few days ago, I found myself sitting on a bench in a park next to a homeless man.
I asked him how he ended up like this.
He said, "Until last week, I still had everything. I had a roof over my head, security, a cook, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had TV, the internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library. I had medical and dental care and was even studying for a degree."
I asked, "So what the hell happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce? Bankruptcy?"
"Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. "No, I was released from prison early ... the bastards let me out on parole.”

@FranklinD said in A little humour:

It's a pity that this forum has no moderator to remove shit threads like this one and some more.

Ahhh! Good ole' censorship. I say we ban the whole Internet thing and start over as cross dressing saxophone players just like the guy on Some Like It Hot. Just one thing. I get to ask Marilyn Monroe on a date first!

Hi Bob,
A ham sandwich walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender said "We don't serve food."

Hi Niner,
What do you do if your wife starts smoking?
Slow down and possibly use a lubricant.

Hi Dr-GO,
An interesting thing happened to me yesterday and as a physician, you might want to know.
I was at the doctor's office and he said to me; You're going to have to stop masturbating". In shock I said "Why!?!
The doctor said; "Because I'm trying to examine you"

@Dr-Mark The Muslims first invented the condom in the year 654 using a goat intestine. Christians expanded on this idea in 1364 by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Kehaulani

@Niner said in A little humour:

@Dr-Mark The Muslims first invented the condom in the year 654 using a goat intestine. Christians expanded on this idea in 1364 by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Man, what a slur on Islam.

Hi Kehaulani,
Some people on this site are the spawn of Don Rickles (myself included).
I'm just another hockey puck.

Hi Dr-GO,
Here's something you may not have picked up in med school;
I got a vasectomy a while back but my girlfriend still got pregnant.
Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

Hi Kehaulani,
My desires have been getting out of control lately.
It was when I spanked a statue that I knew I’d hit rock bottom.

tjcombo

I suppose I shouldn't look for indications of good taste in a bunch of fellow trumpet players but....

@FranklinD 's post caught my eye and my thoughts were much like @Niner - if you don't like a thread, don't read it. Scrolling further down the thread, I started to think that maybe he wasn't far off the mark.

There are a lot of jokes that I tell face-to-face that, given this forum is an open, international, on-line thing, don't get posted here.

FWIW, I'm more of a Pastafarian than follower of any other religion, but choose to observe the forum rules about religious postings - and don't mock the obviously p!ss-funny and ludicrous aspects of mainstream religions.

The greatest crime that comedy can commit is to be not funny and maybe we should read our posts before hitting submit and ask if they are amusing to anyone other than ourselves?

So this trumpet player walked past a bar....
(seriously, it could happen :-))

@Kehaulani I probably shouldn't have posted it. I wasn't considering the implication to an actual religion. I actually have a few friends that were born and raised Muslim from my working days. I just thought it a good come back to the what do you do if your wife starts smoking quip.

SSmith1226

@tjcombo said in A little humour:

So this trumpet player walked past a bar....
(seriously, it could happen :-))

The following cartoons are on the npr site. They are all by the same cartoonist. There are many more examples of his work on the site. What makes this work unique is that the cartoonist, Jeffery Curnow, an “Artist Among Us”, is the Associate Principal Trumpet of the Philadelphia Orchestra. In addition to his work seen on “npr”, he is the illustrator of Mark Gould’s book, “Orchestra Confidential”, a funny and informative book in itself.

Tobylou8

https://www.facebook.com/Ashdawn712/videos/10156866339138229/

Well worth it. In this corner Franklin D and in this corner Niner! Kehaulani is our referee!!

tjcombo

@SSmith1226 thanks for the reminder, I have "Orchestra Confidential" on my Kindle. Must go back for another read. It's very funny and the observations and cartoons of various performers are devastatingly close to the truth (present company excepted of course).

Speaking of Mark Gould (and humour) there is a man who pushes the envelope! Pink Baby Monster videos on youtube are worth a look.

Hi tjcombo,
What do you call a IT teacher who touches his students?
A PDF file.
What! okay, one more!
What does a near sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.

Hi Niner,
I too have several Muslim friends and I could never figure out why 72 virgins are the aspect of paradise. I've discussed this with various Muslim friends and they just laugh when I say, "I'd rather have 72 Vegas Showgirls. I want people who know what they're doing".

@Dr-Mark As you must know individual Muslims are not defined by their religion any more than any individual Christian or Jew is. I have a Muslim friend from a well to do Pakistani family. He got his early education at Eton college in England, lived in Paris and married and divorced a French woman, moved to America after refusing an arranged marriage to a physician....which probably ticked his mother off. He likes stock car racing, bourbon whiskey and American girls who like to have fun. He has no expectations of 72 virgins and, like you, prefers the live, attractive, and willing kind of women. And he is a full fledged sworn in American citizen now.