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    A little humour

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    • BigDub
      BigDub @moshe last edited by

      @moshe said in A little humour:

      @BigDub said in A little humour:

      @moshe
      A friend of mine recently went on a fantastic African safari vacation. One morning Bob was able to get up before everyone else and get a great shot ( photo. PHOTO ) of a bull elephant while still in his pajamas.
      How that elephant fit into his pajamas I'll never figure out!

      Proof that vaudeville and the Marx Brothers will never die ! ☺

      "Who are ya gonna believe? Me, or your lying eyes?"

      Morris / moshe

      Exactly!

      GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
      Assorted other mp's not used
      ( not very unusual….right? )

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • Dr GO
        Dr GO last edited by

        How do you catch a buffalo?

        First dig a large pit.

        Then fill the bottom of the pit with burn remains off firewood.

        Next take multiple cans of peas and line the complete rim of the pit with the peas.

        The trap is ready such as when the buffalo comes by to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole!

        Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
        Harrelson Summit 2017
        Kanstul 1526 2012
        Getzen Power Bore 1961
        Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
        Martin Committee 1946
        Olds Super Recording 1940
        Olds Recording (LA) 1953
        Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
        Olds Ambassador 1965

        ? 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • barliman2001
          barliman2001 Global Moderator @BigDub last edited by

          @BigDub I met that guy when he came home from the African safari - we met at an airport whie we were waiting for our connections. He told me that apart from seeing that elephant,he had a close encounter with a lion that entered his tent. He took off at speed, not wanting to be a lion's breakfast. And so they ran - the guy in front, the lion behind. Until the guy could not run any more. He just stood there and faced the lion, "and suddenly, the lion slipped and fell down". - "And you just stood there? Wow! I would have sh*it my pants." - "Well, what do you think the lion slipped on?"

          Courtois Balanced
          Courtois D
          Olds Recording
          Buescher Aristocrat
          Gaudet C
          Selmer G
          Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
          Besson International Bb cornet
          Courtois Bb cornet
          B&H Sovereign Soprano Cornet
          B&H Sovereign trombone
          Willy Garreis trombone
          Weltklang Euph

          BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • BigDub
            BigDub @barliman2001 last edited by

            @barliman2001 said in A little humour:

            @BigDub I met that guy when he came home from the African safari - we met at an airport whie we were waiting for our connections. He told me that apart from seeing that elephant,he had a close encounter with a lion that entered his tent. He took off at speed, not wanting to be a lion's breakfast. And so they ran - the guy in front, the lion behind. Until the guy could not run any more. He just stood there and faced the lion, "and suddenly, the lion slipped and fell down". - "And you just stood there? Wow! I would have sh*it my pants." - "Well, what do you think the lion slipped on?"

            Ooooooooh, no

            GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
            Assorted other mp's not used
            ( not very unusual….right? )

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • BigDub
              BigDub last edited by

              Ole ( the Minnesota Norwegian ) would sometimes need to have his wife Lena help him fix the car.
              "Lena, I need to have you look at the blinkers and tell me if they vurk, ok?"
              "Okay"
              "Yust stand beck dere and tell me ven I try it. Ready?"
              "Yah, I’m ready"
              "Here, ve go, now tell me if the left one vorks"
              "Yah-no-yah-no-yah-no............."

              GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
              Assorted other mp's not used
              ( not very unusual….right? )

              M 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • M
                moshe @BigDub last edited by

                @BigDub said in A little humour:

                Ole ( the Minnesota Norwegian ) would sometimes need to have his wife Lena help him fix the car.
                "Lena, I need to have you look at the blinkers and tell me if they vurk, ok?"
                "Okay"
                "Yust stand beck dere and tell me ven I try it. Ready?"
                "Yah, I’m ready"
                "Here, ve go, now tell me if the left one vorks"
                "Yah-no-yah-no-yah-no............."

                Old jokes about Norweigans never die.

                They go to live on the Internet.

                Vaudeville 2.0

                ☺

                Morris / moshe

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • ?
                  A Former User last edited by A Former User

                  Now this is pretty corny...for a corn soloist.

                  But it's from a hundred years ago. https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045433/1919-08-11/ed-1/seq-4/

                  corn.jpg

                  BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • BigDub
                    BigDub @Guest last edited by

                    @Niner said in A little humour:

                    Now this is pretty corny...for a corn soloist.

                    But it's from a hundred years ago. https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045433/1919-08-11/ed-1/seq-4/

                    corn.jpg

                    Obviously one must play by ear, all the time. If, there was music written for it, those players from North Dakota, or Carolina would use treble clef, and of course, those in South Dakota and Carolina, bass clef, naturally.

                    GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                    Assorted other mp's not used
                    ( not very unusual….right? )

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • ?
                      A Former User last edited by

                      This joke stream...and judging by what happened at the old lamented site......will become probably the most posted string on this new board. And like the old site, a lot of guys make up jokes rather than steal them from someplace else. Some...without my pointing them out.... are really awful. This cries out for an adjustment to the "reputation" arrow that always points up. Really bad jokes should run the risk of getting a reputation vote that goes down.

                      BigDub SSmith1226 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • BigDub
                        BigDub @Guest last edited by

                        @Niner said in A little humour:

                        This joke stream...and judging by what happened at the old lamented site......will become probably the most posted string on this new board. And like the old site, a lot of guys make up jokes rather than steal them from someplace else. Some...without my pointing them out.... are really awful. This cries out for an adjustment to the "reputation" arrow that always points up. Really bad jokes should run the risk of getting a reputation vote that goes down.

                        I don’t always make them up. Sometimes I repeat bad ones, too.

                        GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                        Assorted other mp's not used
                        ( not very unusual….right? )

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                        • SSmith1226
                          SSmith1226 @Guest last edited by

                          @Niner said in A little humour:

                          This joke stream...and judging by what happened at the old lamented site......will become probably the most posted string on this new board. And like the old site, a lot of guys make up jokes rather than steal them from someplace else. Some...without my pointing them out.... are really awful. This cries out for an adjustment to the "reputation" arrow that always points up. Really bad jokes should run the risk of getting a reputation vote that goes down.

                          The problem with critiquing humor is that we all have different interpretations of what examples and styles of humor are funny and what styles and content aren't. What is funny to me may very well not be funny to you and vice versa. I think that a good example of this is that the same core group of names will upvote my posts when they consider them worthy ( makes them laugh) but certainly not all my humorous posts are upvoted, indicating, at least to me, that the joke bombed. Fortunately I don’t make my living as a comedian.
                          To carry this a step further, some of the most successful marriages are between partners who have similar sense of humors and some of the least successful marriages are involving partners with sense of humors not similar.
                          To complicate this further, there are numerous categories one can classify jokes in. The following article lists 20 of these categories:
                          https://www.dailywritingtips.com/20-types-and-forms-of-humor/
                          I don’t think that any one who posts humor, whether a repeat of an old joke, an original joke, a cartoon etc. is trying to post what they consider a bad or purposely offensive joke. If you don’t like it, simply don’t vote for it. If it is offensive, either post a comment in response, or pm the original poster to let them know why it bothered you. For example, if I posted a joke that I thought was acceptable and received pm’s informing me otherwise, it would likely modify what I post, or not post, in the future. This would be far more effective than downvoting. If there is a joke posted that that doesn’t mesh with the way I am wired to consider to consider it funny, I won’t upvote it, but often other people will find it very humorous and will upvote it.
                          The bottom line is that you can’t make all the people happy all the time.

                          Steve Smith

                          ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                          • ?
                            A Former User @SSmith1226 last edited by A Former User

                            @SSmith1226 I didn't mean for anyone to get all serious over this. At a website that shall remain nameless that I am guilty of producing, there is no up voting and approving of anything as a matter of style. However, when a particularly unfunny to awful joke is offered there often follow a few posted groans ...all in good humor.

                            For instance:
                            http://www.milsurpafterhours.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=12779&p=57337&hilit=groan#p57337

                            groan.jpg

                            SSmith1226 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • SSmith1226
                              SSmith1226 @Guest last edited by

                              @Niner
                              I think that this is a perfectly acceptable reply to the joke that you posted it for, except for one minor problem that illustrates two my points. I found the actual joke very funny. It set me up and the punch line sent me to an area I wasn’t expecting. The points illustrated are: 1) We are all wired differently as to what we find humorous. I actually found the joke and your reply humorous. 2) We would be incompatible as a married couple.

                              Steve Smith

                              ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • ?
                                A Former User @SSmith1226 last edited by

                                @SSmith1226 No. I don't think you get it at all about the "groan". It's a non judgmental judgement kind of thing that gives recognition to an awful attempt at humor.

                                Instead of groan people sometimes just say..."Corner!"

                                That's another way of saying "groan". "Corner!"....means that joke was so bad you have to go stand in a corner and repent.

                                Like this:

                                http://www.milsurpafterhours.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=12347&p=54354&hilit=Corner!#p54354

                                ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • ?
                                  A Former User @Guest last edited by

                                  @Niner
                                  Here's one that will bring a global groan.
                                  Why do people say "if you want to get warm, go stand in a corner"?
                                  Because corners are always 90 degrees.

                                  Dr GO ? 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                  • Dr GO
                                    Dr GO @Guest last edited by

                                    @Dr-Mark said in A little humour:

                                    @Niner
                                    Here's one that will bring a global groan.
                                    Why do people say "if you want to get warm, go stand in a corner"?
                                    Because corners are always 90 degrees.

                                    Ah... you can get skewed on some New York City street corners, while others in the Big Apple are just down right obtuse.

                                    Allora Pocket Trumpet 2014
                                    Harrelson Summit 2017
                                    Kanstul 1526 2012
                                    Getzen Power Bore 1961
                                    Getzen Eterna 4-Valve Fulgelhorn 1974
                                    Martin Committee 1946
                                    Olds Super Recording 1940
                                    Olds Recording (LA) 1953
                                    Olds Recording (Fullerton) 1967
                                    Olds Ambassador 1965

                                    ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • ?
                                      A Former User @Dr GO last edited by

                                      @Dr-GO
                                      God knows I've been skewed a few time in New York City.

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • ?
                                        A Former User @Guest last edited by

                                        @Dr-Mark Now that's a definite GROAN joke. Pardon the shouting...but it is deserved. 😀

                                        ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • ?
                                          A Former User @Guest last edited by

                                          @Niner
                                          You're welcome!

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • Tobylou8
                                            Tobylou8 last edited by

                                            I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda.

                                            It was a Fanta Sea

                                            ? Dr GO Bob Pixley 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
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