A little humour
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@Tobylou8
Oh my! That's a good one!
Fanta Sea! That's a keeper. -
What do you call a deer with no eyes?...No eye deer!
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@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?...No eye deer!
Me neither.
What do you get when you cross a Rhinoceros and an Elephant?Elefino.
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@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda.
It was a Fanta Sea
Maybe down South, but not up North where it's Canada Dry!
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How can you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A frog says: "Rib-bit; Rib-it"
AND
A horny toad says: "Rub-it; Rub-it"
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@BigDub said in A little humour:
Elefino.
Elifrhino?
I'm still thinking about a Fanta Sea! Its my favorite flavor soda! -
On the WHAS radio news today at Noon,
I swear it said that people who use more "emoji's" get more sex.
But I don't understand how this is supposed to work,
because no chicks hang out here...Morris / moshe
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@Niner nothing wrong with the Penguin joke, that's going into the library.
@Tobylou8 Fanta Sea made me groan, but still glad to hear it. It gives licence to push on....
What do you call a man who puts Autumn leaves down his pants?
Russell
Thankyou very much
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@moshe said in A little humour:
On the WHAS radio news today at Noon,
I swear it said that people who use more "emoji's" get more sex.
But I don't understand how this is supposed to work,
because no chicks hang out here...Morris / moshe
Be careful!!! You might get what you wish for.
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What is humour? I've heard of humor, but not humour.
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@administrator "humour' is something that amuses me - like American spelling
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@administrator said in A little humour:
What is humour? I've heard of humor, but not humour.
HUMOUR | definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/humour
humour meaning: 1. the ability to find things funny, the way in which people see that some things are funny, such as spelling of the word humor as humour. 2....Please pardon my editorialized version in bold
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@moshe said in A little humour:
On the WHAS radio news today at Noon,
I swear it said that people who use more "emoji's" get more sex.
But I don't understand how this is supposed to work,
because no chicks hang out here...Morris / moshe
I finally figured it out.
The radio news story said that people who use more "emoji's" have more sex.
It didn't say that such people had a partner...Morris / moshe
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M. C. Escher's trumpet.
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It has been said that the best way to live a long life is to have a lot of birthdays.
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@tjcombo said in A little humour:
@administrator "humour' is something that amuses me - like American spelling
Yeah, we’re like that.
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@tjcombo said in A little humour:
@administrator "humour' is something that amuses me - like American spelling
That’s like the kettle calling the pot black. How about “Australian Vocabulary”? (I’ll try and clean it up)
A Cold One – Beer
Accadacca – How Aussies refer to Australian band ACDC
Ankle Biter – Child
Arvo – Afternoon (S’Arvo – this afternoon!)
Aussie Salute – Wave to scare the flies
Avo – Avocado
Bail – To cancel plans. ‘Bruce bailed’ = Bruce isn’t going to turn up.
Barbie – Barbecue
Bathers – Swimsuit
Beauty! – Great! Most often exclaimed as “You Beauty”
Billabong – A pond in a dry riverbed
Billy – Teapot (In the Outback on the fire)
Bloody – Very. Used to extenuate a point
Bloody oath – yes or its true. “You right mate?”… “Bloody Oath”
Bludger – Someone who’s lazy, generally also who relies on others (when it’s someone who relies on the state they’re often called a ‘dole bludger’)
Bogan – This word is used for people who are, well let’s say, rednecks. Or, if you like, just call your friends a bogan when they are acting weird.
Booze Bus – Police vehicle used to catch drunk drivers
Bottle-O – Bottle Shop, basically a place to buy alcohol
Brekky – Breakfast
Brolly – Umbrella
Bruce – An Aussie Bloke
Budgie Smugglers – Speedos
Bush – “Out in the bush” – “he’s gone bush” In the countryside away from civilisation
Cab Sav – Cabernet Sauvignon
Cactus – Dead, Broken
Choc A Bloc – Full
Choccy Biccy – Chocolate Biscuit
Chook – Chicken
Chrissie – Christmas
Ciggy – a Cigarette
Clucky – feeling maternal
Cobber – Very good friend. ‘Alright me ‘ol cobber’.
Coldie – Beer. ‘Come over for a few coldie’s mate.’
Coppers – Policemen
Crack the shits – Getting angry at someone or something
Crikey – an expression of surprise
Crook – Being ill or angry; ‘Don’t go crook on me for getting crook’
C8 the “C” word – Used when exchanging pleasantries between close friends or family member. If someone calls you the “C” word in Australia (and you haven’t done anything to make them angry), then breathe a sigh of relief… it means you have entered the mate zone.
Dag – Someone who’s a bit of a nerd or geek.
Daks – Trousers. ‘Tracky daks’ = sweatpants (tracksuit pants)
Dardy – meaning “cool”, is used amongst South West Australian Aboriginal peoples and has also been adopted by non-indigenous teens. – source
Deadset – True
Defo – Definitely
Devo – Devastated
Drongo – a Fool, ‘Don’t be a drongo mate’
Dunny – Toilet
Durry – Cigarette
Esky – An insulated container that keeps things cold (usually beers)
Facey – Facebook
Fair Dinkum – ‘Fair Dinkum?’ … ‘Fair Dinkum!’ = Honestly? … Yeah honestly!
Flannie / Flanno – flannelette shirt
Flat out – Really busy – “Flat out like a lizard drinking” – As busy as a bee
Footy – Football (AFL / Aussie Rules)
Frothy – Beer
F* Me Dead – that’s unfortunate, that surprises me
Furphy – rumours or stories that are improbable or absurd
G’day – Hello
Galah – an Australian cockatoo with a reputation for not being bright, hence a galah is also a stupid person.
Gnarly – awesome – often used by surfers
Going off – busy, lots of people / angry person “he’s going off”
Good On Ya – Good work
Goon – the best invention ever produced by mankind. Goon is a cheap, boxed wine that will inevitably become an integral part of your Australian backpacking experience.
Hard yakka – Hard work
Heaps – loads, lots, many
Hoon – Hooligan (normally driving badly!)
Iffy – bit risky or unreasonable
Knickers – female underwear
Lappy – Laptop
Larrikin – Someone who’s always up for a laugh, bit of a harmless prankster
Legless – Someone who is really drunk
Lollies – Sweets
Maccas – McDonalds
Manchester – Sheets / Linen etc. If you’re from England, finding a department within a shop called Manchester could seriously confuse you.
Mongrel – Someone who’s a bit of a dick
Mozzie – Mosquito
No Drama – No problem / it’s ok
No Worries – No problem / it’s ok
No Wucka’s – A truly Aussie way to say ‘no worries’
Nuddy – Naked
Outback – The interior of Australia, “The Outback” is more remote than those areas named “the bush”
Pash – to kiss
Piece of Piss – easy
Piss Off – go away, get lost
Piss Up – a party, a get together and in Australia – most social occasions
Piss – (To Piss) to urinate
Pissed – Intoxicated, Drunk
Pissed Off – Annoyed
Rack Off – The less offensive way to tell someone to ‘F Off’!
Rapt – Very happy
Reckon – for sure. ‘You Reckon?’… ‘I reckon!’
Rellie / Rello – Relatives
Ripper – ‘You little ripper’ = That’s fantastic mate!
Root Rat – someone who enjoys sex (maybe a little too much)
Rooted – Tired or Broken
Runners – Trainers, Sneakers
Sanger – Sandwich
Servo – Service Station / Garage
Shark biscuit – kids at the beach
Sheila – A woman
Shoot Through – To leave
Sick – awesome; ‘that’s really sick mate’
Sickie – a sick day off work, or ‘to pull a sickie’ would be to take a day off when you aren’t actually sick
Skull – To down a beer
Slab – A carton of beers
Snag – Sausage
Stiffy – Erection
Stoked – Happy, Pleased
Straya – Australia
Strewth – An exclamation of surprise
Stubby – a bottle of beer
Stubby Holder – Used so your hands don’t get cold when holding your beer, or to stop your hands making your beer warm!
Stuffed – Tired
Sunnies – Sunglasses
Swag – Single bed you can roll up, a bit like a sleeping bag.
Tea – Dinner
Tinny – Can of beer or small boat
Thongs – Flip Flops. Do not be alarmed if your new found Australian friend asks you to wear thongs to the beach. They are most likely expressing their concern of the hot sand on your delicate feet.
True Blue – Genuinely Australian
Tucker – Food. ‘Bush Tucker’ tends to be food found in the Outback such as witchety grubs.
Two Up – A gambling game played on Anzac day.
U-IE – to take a U-Turn when driving
Up Yourself – Stuck up
Woop Woop – middle of nowhere “he lives out woop woop”
Ya – You
Yous – (youse) plural of you!Steve Smith
