A little humour
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Heard on the radio:
"I made a mistake; I loaned money to a blind man, and he said he'd repay me the next time he saw me."
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@J-Jericho A wildly gesticulating conductor gets a viola players eye with the baton. Says the viola player: "If you do that once more, I'l never look at you again!°
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Also from the airwaves:
"I went to the Air and Space Museum, but there was nothing inside."
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@J-Jericho said in A little humour:
Also from the airwaves:
"I went to the Air and Space Museum, but there was nothing inside."
Aw, shucks. I suppose you should have learned some English first.
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I apologize in advance if this post should have been placed under “Pedagogy”, perhaps under “James Stamp” or “Medical Concerns” subcategory “Hernias”. I was going through some files I had saved 2 years ago and found this one. I don’t recall where it came from. It could have been from TM or some other site. Never the less, I thought that the lessons that could be learned were so worthwhile that it should be resurrected in spite of the hernia risk.
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Official "sporting event" national anthem arrangement. Due to space constraints, only the first page is displayed...
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
I apologize in advance if this post should have been placed under “Pedagogy”, perhaps under “James Stamp” or “Medical Concerns” subcategory “Hernias”. I was going through some files I had saved 2 years ago and found this one. I don’t recall where it came from. It could have been from TM or some other site. Never the less, I thought that the lessons that could be learned were so worthwhile that it should be resurrected in spite of the hernia risk.
My approach when playing with new people. Warm up as though I am the last chair third trumpet in the middle school band. It scares everyone just as much, but then it’s all gravy after they hear me really play like a fourth chair second trumpet in the middle school band.
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@Bob-Pixley said in A little humour:
Official "sporting event" national anthem arrangement. Due to space constraints, only the first page is displayed...
The only correction I would make is that it started a little too high. Should have started about two or three steps down to allow for the total lack of any range whatsoever. That would be my only slight adjustment.
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
I apologize in advance if this post should have been placed under “Pedagogy”, perhaps under “James Stamp” or “Medical Concerns” subcategory “Hernias”. I was going through some files I had saved 2 years ago and found this one. I don’t recall where it came from. It could have been from TM or some other site. Never the less, I thought that the lessons that could be learned were so worthwhile that it should be resurrected in spite of the hernia risk.
This is great. Would you start a new thread with this? Haha...lounge of course.
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A man would walk his Golden Retriever past my house every evening. I didn’t know his name or the dog, but rather than be rude, I would just say, hi Guy, hi, Bud.
This is what I would do. One day I decided to introduce myself because it seemed a little silly to randomly call them names I made up.
My name's Wayne, what's yours? Guy.
No. Yeah, really.
What's your boy's name? I said, rubbing behind the friendly Golden Retriever's ears .
Bud.
Absolutely a 100% true story. -
@BigDub When my wife and I checked in to Hotel Monteleone in the French Quarter in New Orleans, after greeting us, the doorman said "Hello Benji" to our dog. We asked him how he knew our dog's name, and he replied that he didn't; he just thought she looked like the star of the movie of the same name (which is why I named her "Benji" in the first place).
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No, he was addressing you.
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@J-Jericho said in A little humour:
@BigDub When my wife and I checked in to Hotel Monteleone in the French Quarter in New Orleans, after greeting us, the doorman said "Hello Benji" to our dog. We asked him how he knew our dog's name, and he replied that he didn't; he just thought she looked like the star of the movie of the same name (which is why I named her "Benji" in the first place).
Then sometimes I have been known to change the name if I feel I have a more suitable one.....it is usually received with good humor.
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In the spirit of the joke:
Sign posted on telephone pole: "Lost dog - has only three legs, tail broken, missing one eye. Answers to the name 'Lucky'",
I named one of my dogs "Spunky".
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Riddle of the Day
Here's the situation:You're on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop-off.
On your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo, and your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.
What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?
See answer below
Get off the merry-go-round and go home!
You've had enough excitement for one day.
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Before surgery, I offer my patients to either use gas or a boat paddle to knock them out.
It's and ether/oar situation!
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Somebody was knocking loudly on my door at 3 o'clock this morning. I didn't answer it and they eventually went away. I wonder what kind of nut it was doing that? It didn't wake me. I was just finishing up practicing my drum lessons for the senior citizen band I just joined when it happened.
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Woman in the stands, watching her son's first half time performance with the marching band: Look at my Bobbie! He's the only one going in the right direction and everyone else is out of step!
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Believe it or not, I only made it through the fourth grade.
Well, then we moved to NJ and I resumed my education.
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Here are a few that I read today:
My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"