A little humour

Newell Post

@ssmith1226 Crack that whip.

tjcombo

@ssmith1226 was never a real Devo-tj Steve. I did see them perform in Melbourne on 2012. They were supporting Simple Minds (an all time fave rock-gods). Tragically the sound was absolutely garbage for Devo and garbage but louder for Simple Minds.

SSmith1226

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."
The man said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife".
The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home".
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home "
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.
"The gun was loaded with blanks" she said...... "I had to kill him with the chair."

Dr GO

BigDub

According to legend, British conductor Sir Thomas Beecham once saw a distinguished-looking woman in a hotel foyer. Believing he knew her but unable to remember her name, he paused to talk with her. As the two chatted, he vaguely recollected that she had a brother. Hoping for a clue, he asked how her brother was doing and whether he was still working at the same job. “Oh, he’s very well,” she said, “And still king.”

tjcombo

Hope this isn't too political

Newell Post

Finally. An honest ad.

grune

@tjcombo these days, I imagine a treatment for ingrown toenails would be political.

Dr GO

@grune said in A little humour:

@tjcombo these days, I imagine a treatment for ingrown toenails would be political.

What? You mead a wedge resurrection... or is that a resection? Oh what the heck, snip snip and it's all done!

J. Jericho

This was a YouTube recommendation:

grune

@j-jericho the drummer is THE show !

barliman2001

@bigdub Sir Thomas Beecham is best remembered for this incident... He loved to mingle with the audience in Covent Garden during the interval. One day a guy rushed into him and without apology, asked him where the loo was. Sir Thomas told him to follow a certain passage, adding, "The first door is labelled "Ladies". Don't go in there. The second door is labelled "Gentlemen". Go in there nevertheless."

SSmith1226

@barliman2001
Welcome Back barliman2001!!!

Dr GO

Barilman!!!! Great to have you back. Wishing you great health and hoping all is on the mend!

barliman2001

@dr-go It's the wrong slot here because there's not much to laugh about my condition. Since I temporarily left TB, I've had two large-scale eye surgeries, both to repair my retina ablation. #1 was fairly successful in that my torn and folded retina was returned to its rightful place, and after the operation, I still had about 30% vision left. But the retina developed massive scar tissue which tore the repair into pieces, and I had to undergo a second operation which lasted for a full five hours and was extremely painful; this was in mid-January, and since then I haven't seen much improvement - sight in my right eye is down to 10%, there is constant pain because the surgeons (some of the best in the country, fortunately) had to put a tight silicon band all round the eyeball which is still in place six weeks later... I am unable to drive, unable to bend down (because that would risk another ablation), unable to do almost anything, have been prohibited from touching a trumpet for six months now (and that's no empty advice, my ophthalmic surgeon is a trumpet player of some note)... there is the constant threat of a third operation looming, and of course the statistical fact tht there is a 15% risk of my other eye getting a retinal ablation within the year... I honestly don't know how I would survive such a blow. All in all, a pretty bleak outlook.

Curlydoc

@barliman2001 So sorry for your situation. I pray you will eventually have a workable outcome.

Dr GO

@barliman2001 said in A little humour:

...All in all, a pretty bleak outlook.

I will pray so deeply for you. This is so painful to hear in so many ways!

J. Jericho

@barliman2001 I wish you a remarkably speedy and complete recovery.

Dr GO

Dr GO