A little humour
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A "meat-processing plant" that's a good one. Plant-based diet!
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A trumpet player is sitting outside a bar, weeping bitterly... a friend of his passes by and asks him, "What's the matter? Did they throw you out?" - "Oh no..." - "Then why are you weeping? Are you out of cash, shall I lend you some?" - "Oh no, I'm rollin' in cash..." - "Then tell me why you are sitting here, weeping!" - "It's too horrible - I'm not thirsty."
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@dr-go It's only humorous on the face of it, I know... I've known too many people with that kind of attitude myself.
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I was in a cafe and saw two of my local shop owners had met for a coffee, and overheard one saying to the other, 'I was sorry to hear about the fire at your place last week.'
The other said, 'Ssh - not so loud. That's next week.' -
I don't want all that negativity to come inside my home. I reassured my wife that for example, she should embrace her mistakes. That's when she gave me a big hug.
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In a small village, the man responsible for cleaning out all the cesspools overturned his cart and was busy shovelling the stuff back when the local parson came along and asked, "Have you had an accident, my good man?" - "No." replied the shoveller. "I'm only stocktaking."
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Sousaphone intonation is pretty funny too...
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Time now to retell the story about a Vienna counterfeiters gang... the boss, on his way out, orders the gang to "make hundred fifties". Accordingly, the two slushers on duty give it their best and produce a wonderful sample banknote for 150 Euros... proudly show it to their boss for approval and the go-ahead for more of the same... the boss goes berserk saying, "you utter numbskulls, there are no 150s!! What are we going to do with this? You wasted your and my time on this!! Next time, I'll have you fitted with concrete boots!" - "No fear, boss, we can get rid of this one in extra quick time... we just go to Burgenland and there we'll have it in circulation in a sec." - "Then go!!"
Accordingly, they get into their car and drive off. Shortly after Eisenstadt (the capital of the Austrian province of Burgenland), they stop at a small village tobacconist's, and conterfeiter #1 gets out to "buy a lighter for one euro, and pay with the 150 euro note". Gets out, disappears in the shop, returns beaming. "Went a treat. She gave correct change - two seventies and a nine!" -
Don't know whether to file this under "humour" or "horror"... imagine a band that consists solely of accordions, banjos, saxophones and violas...
HERE IT IS. The Joseph A. Ferko Band of Philadelphia.
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@barliman2001 What?!? No kazoos?!?
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1977 Bach Strad ML 43 trumpet
1960 Conn 6B Victor trumpet
1982 Bach Strad ML 239 C trumpet
1970 Olds Ambassador Eb/D trumpet
1993 Bach Strad L 184G cornet
1962 Conn 9A Victor cornet
1890 Besson A/Bb/C cornet
1870? Henry Lehnert SARV cornet -
@Dale-Proctor
Yeah, I get that a lot -
