A little humour

barliman2001

A husband and wife are looking at Niagara Falls. After a while, she says: "Would you jump in to save me if I fell in?" - "If I say yes, would you jump?"

barliman2001

"Garbage Air Flight 321 to Rome Tower, declaring emergency. We've lost #1 engine." - "Rome Tower to Garbage 321, do you have an engine left?" - "Affirmative" - "Then there is no problem."
...
"Garbage 321 to Rome Tower, declaring EMERGENCY!! We've lost engine #2 as well" -
"Rome Tower to Garbage 321, do you have an engine left?" - "Negative" -
"In that case, repeat after me, Our Father, Who art in Heaven..."

barliman2001

A guy fell into a shark tank and survived.
Why?
He wore a shirt, "Red Sox for Superbowl".
Not even the sharks would swallow that!

barliman2001

"You've got a nice broad chest, you'll go into our football team." -
"But I can't play!" -
"Who said anything about playing? It's the advertising space that counts!"

barliman2001

A football team won Chanel no. 5 perfume as sponsor. Unfortunately, their mascot was an old camel prone to farting.
At the press conference where the new sponsor was to be unveiled, the mascot had to be there as well and let out huge winds. The team manager grasped the situation by saying, "We contacted Chanel no.5 because we can't stand Camel #2s any more!"

Dr GO

J. Jericho

tjcombo

barliman2001

@tjcombo said in A little humour:

thanks for editing!

J. Jericho

tjcombo

A lighter moment in the grim saga of Australia's bush fires as a Scottish reporter is introduced to a deadly drop bear....

barliman2001

In Bavaria, unwary tourists can fall prey to the Wolperdinger, a vicious flesh-eating hare with a roebuck's horns. These horns carry a strong venom which, however, is only dangerous to non-Bavarians. If touched by these horns, these individuals generally develop "Prussian disease" manifesting itself in trying to copy Bavarians in dress and language, making themselves abominably ridiculous.
One of the finest drawings of an actual Wolperdinger was done in 1503 by Albrecht Dürer. https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolpertinger#/media/Datei:Wolpertinger.jpg
Once the venomous horns have rendered the victim without the will to resist, the Wolperdinger can do serious damage with his protruding fangs. The creature is the more dangerous as it has wings and is able to fly short distances, often perching on branches and dropping on unsuspecting travellers.

J. Jericho

barliman2001

Drunk husband is coming home late at night, to find his wife waiting behind the door with a broom. "A-are you cleaning, or flying away?"

Vulgano Brother

@barliman2001 said in A little humour:

In Bavaria, unwary tourists can fall prey to the Wolperdinger, a vicious flesh-eating hare with a roebuck's horns.

Dr GO

@Vulgano-Brother said in A little humour:

@barliman2001 said in A little humour:

In Bavaria, unwary tourists can fall prey to the Wolperdinger, a vicious flesh-eating hare with a roebuck's horns.

Truly makes my hair stand on end! AND not just any bunny can do that!

Dr GO

I just checked into the Hokey-Pokey clinic to turn myself around!

Dr GO

Kehaulani

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

Truly makes my hair stand on end! AND not just any bunny can do that!

Monty Python killer rabbit clip: