Posts made by SSmith1226

@BigDub said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:

Witness protection family portrait.

Now I see why you don’t do portaits!

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 A friend of mine in college used to laugh his ass off (pun intended) listening to this.

I first heard this at age 10 -12 in the late 1950’s. My father had recorded it on a reel to reel tape. I would sneak into his office and listen to it along with some recordings of Bell Barth.
The original recording of the International Crepitation Contest has an interesting history For those interested, here it is:

“The Battle at Thunderblow: The Great Crepitation Contest of 1946” is a comedy record of mysterious origins that gives a play-by-play account of an international farting contest between Lord Windesmear and challenger Paul Boomer. The exact source of the record is unknown, but according to a post on Rand’s Esoteric OTR it was created by Canadian Broadcasting Corporation sports announcer Sydney S. Brown and producer Jules Lipton some time in the 1940s.

Although it appears to have been only produced as an internal joke and not commercially distributed, it managed to survive as a benchmark of high-end fart comedy for more than half a century.

@pss reminds me or “We don’t need no education....”

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

Let's not forget that infamous musician, Le Pétomane, satirized in Blazing Saddles. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P�%
ne

A true classic:
And, it’s all in the air support, compression, and long tones.

Young children playing in London, 1941

Here is a musical joke, sort of-

The Organist

A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.
Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, & told her to mash up some green persimmons & rub them on her nipples and all over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up & you won't be able to talk properly for a while.

The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said,

“Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday.

@Kehaulani
One of my favorite books growing up as we practiced “Duck and Cover” by placing our heads in our laps and under our desks in order to save our lives in case of nuclear attack.

In summary:

@Dr-Mark
In a similar vein but not necessarily my opinion unless we are discussing my sister:

What do you call a woman without an A..hole?
“Divorced”.

@BigDub

Now if Chad Everett isn’t random, I don ‘t know what is!

@Bob-Pixley said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:

Pacu Fish (Ball Cutter)

@Niner

@J-Jericho
String Theory

@BigDub said in A little humour:

I try not to be condescending. That’s when you assume the person to whom you’re speaking needs help understanding the very intelligent things you are saying.

Now, I heard that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick. It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell. She explained, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."

That means...........well, if you don’t get it........never mind.....

Someone said to me I was being too patronising, so I said 'I'm not being patronising, I'm being condescending. In case you are having trouble figuring this out:

I hope this helps.

@Dr-Mark said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226
Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Annie.
Annie Who?
Annie Thing You Can Do I Can Do Better

Now, that is condescending!

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-Mark said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226
Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Annie.
Annie Who?
Annie Thing You Can Do I Can Do Better

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie more of these?

Little orphan Annie grew up in the Great Depression. She was so poor that she had to sell her pupils for money to live on.