Best posts made by moshe

@Richard-III

I have seen your email
and I have responded to it.

If you are the same Richard III that Shakespeare wrote about,
then you must be really old by now :^)

moshe

In the 1973 album "MF Horn 4+5", Maynard sang in the song "Can't Get Started".

I always enjoyed it so much that I wish Maynard had sung on at least one song in each album and concert.

As in "Can't Get Started", I wanted him to both sing and play in each such song.

moshe

The Conn 5A and the Conn 9A are identical,
but Conn Loyalist says that the Conn 9A has the feel of a larger bore.
I have owned 5 Conn 5A and 3 Conn 9A,
and I can verify that the Conn 9A demands more air
although it is the same bore size and wrap as a Conn 5A.
All interchangeable parts.
Only difference is Copper versus Brass.

Morris / moshe

Why do jerks suffer in life?

"Time wounds all heels"

moshe, addicted to puns

I think I am wrong and you are right about the album.

"Can't Get Started" was probably on the "Chameleon" album rather than on "MF Horn 4+5".

moshe

@J-Jericho said in video on "Greg Gutfeld Show":

@moshe Yup to attitude and wit. The last time I had my testosterone levels checked, they were normal.
Give the girl a couple of double cheeseburgers and an extra large malted shake, if that's what you're driving at.

I agree that Kat Timpf is way too skinny.
I have been wanting to send this message to Greg Gutfeld:
Give Kat Timpf a raise in pay !!!!!
Just looking at the poor girl proves that she cannot afford to buy food.
Give her a pay raise so that she can start having at least one square meal per day.
At her present skinny condition, she could not even get a job as a paper-weight; first gust of wind and she would blow right out the window with all the papers.

moshe

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@moshe said in A little humour:

I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?

How about BIG BAD MOSHE or just BIG MOSHE or MUY GRANDE
MOSHE or MAN MOUNTAIN MOSHE or MOSHE THE MAGNIFICENT!!!

But I am such a humble man...

Maybe it would be OK as long as it is other people talking about me.

Maybe I could use that line that was used many times by Walter Brennan in the 1960's TV show "The Guns of Will Sonnet":

"I'm the fastest. No brag. Just fact."

moshe

Dictionary says that "judgment" is the correct spelling,
although 50 years ago "judgement" would have been the correct spelling.

We "must" drop that "e" before the "-ment".

But for "management" we are "required" to keep that "e" before the "-ment".

And for "encouragement" we are "required" to keep that "e" before the "-ment".

Why the change for "judgement" / "judgment"?
If enough stupid people spell a word incorrectly for a long enough period of time,
then the publishers of the dictionaries finally give in and change the official spelling "due to evolution of the spelling by the general population".

That is also how "bad" came to mean "good" in American urban slang 50 years ago.

Society is going to heck in a hand-basket.

Now I just have 9,999 other pet peeves to post...

Such as countless people on TV who say, "He talked to you and I".
They apparently did not have to graduate from 3rd grade to become a TV writer or TV host or TV reporter.

moshe

@mafields627 said in pet peeves:

People that say "on today" instead of just saying "today."

That's like everyone on TV who says "tuna-fish sandwich".

What other kind of animal would "tuna" be other than "fish".

No other kind of fish is called "xxxx-fish".

New Yorkers who say "standing on line" instead of "standing in line".

People on TV who keep saying "I was laying down" when they mean "I was lying down".

People on TV who say "I'll drive further" when they mean "I'll drive farther."

People on TV who say "mis-CHEE-vee-us" when ther is no extra "i" in the word to
justify that pronunciation.

People on TV who say "conversate" instead of "converse".

Wow.
Only 9,980 pet peeves to go...

moshe

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@moshe said

I am stuck in Louisville, Kentucky now
because this is where I came for a job more than 25 years ago....

I have amazing bragging rights...
I need to create a porn name for myself...
Any suggestions?

How did I miss this!!! “The Louisville Slugger- 100% Wood” or “The All Wood Louisville Slugger”

I don't know whether to say "Shame on you" or award you a gift certificate to "Outback Steak House".

Now I have to try to wipe this smile off my face for the rest of the day...

moshe

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

I think you might reconsider how tasteful using that Steven Hawkins analogy is.

I don't understand what's so difficult with moving into a "nursing home", either. In my experience all you have to do is choose a facility within your budget and do it.

Not judging, just asking.

The nursing homes that are most desirable in terms of proper medical care and decent food have at least a 2-year waiting list for residents who will pay with Medicaid.

I do not understand what was distasteful about my mentioning Stephen Hawkings.
I am sure that he considered himself "trapped" in his body, but he learned to live with it because he had no choice.
And I am sure that he saw young women with whom he wanted a romantic relationship but he realized the futility of such romantic desire.

moshe

@Vulgano-Brother said in A little humour:

OK. I give up. Explain it to me.

moshe

@BigDub

I thought it was a stunningly beautiful photograph.

But another poster said that it is a painting?

Morris / moshe

Captain Jean-Luc Picard had a French name but a British accent,
and 500 years in the future there still was no cure for baldness?

Morris / moshe

@Dr-GO said in "Star Trek Next Generation":

@moshe said in "Star Trek Next Generation":
...and 500 years in the future there still was no cure for baldness?

Morris / moshe

Physician to patient:
"There is no shame in being bald,"

Patient back to doctor:
"Doctor, that depends on how you spell it."

Feigning bewilderment, "I'm afraid you'll have to explain that to me. I'm from Missouri..."

@Tobylou8 said in glad there's no fighting here:

@moshe said in glad there's no fighting here:

@Tobylou8 said in glad there's no fighting here:

What's that extra finger doing in there ???

Morris / moshe

Huh?

Your innocence is so admirable.

:^)

Morris / moshe

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

I just stumbled across the following advice. It looked so wise, yet so simple, that I felt the need to share it. It is titled, “Five Ways For A Man To Be Completely Happy”. By reversing the sexes I’m sure that this applies equally as well to the female members of this forum.

Five Ways For A Man To Be Completely Happy

1. Be with a woman who who makes you laugh.
2. Be with a woman who gives you her time.
3. Be with a Woman who takes care of you.
4. Be with a woman who really loves you.
5. Finally, make sure that these four woman don’t know each other.

Be with a woman who won't divorce you after 34 years.

I know from very painful experience.

I'm a Pentecostal Baptist,
but maybe a Mormon has an extra wife he can spare... ???

(will the moderator let that one through?)

Morris / moshe

@tmd said in "Star Trek Next Generation":

@moshe said in "Star Trek Next Generation":

Captain Jean-Luc Picard had a French name but a British accent,
and 500 years in the future there still was no cure for baldness?

Morris / moshe

And no cure for Kirk's nearsightedness (he's allergic to Retinox 5).

BTW, when I saw the title was Star Trek NG, I expected a musical question, like "What song did Riker play on the trombone in Ten-Forward?" ... I Remember You.

Mike

My favorite unintended humor
was when Captain Picard was standing next to Will Riker
and Picard said to Worf, "Fire at will".

Morris / moshe

@neal085 said in A little humour:

Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

And I thought that my puns were bad

I never saw it coming ...

Morris / moshe

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@moshe said in A little humour:

@neal085 said in A little humour:

Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

And I thought that my puns were bad

I never saw it coming ...

Morris / moshe

In the world of Puns, bad is good, smelly is swell-ie.
The less sophistication it possesses, the higher the elevation to which it rises.
At least that is what I say to defend my own puns.
And, lastly, if one is easily embarrassed, one had better not enter the arena of puns.

There are arenas of puns?

Pun gladiators?

Pun matadors?

Peanut vendors?

Morris / moshe