This is all both amazing and extensive, Kehaulani. I hope there is no indication from my responses and posts that would infer any disrespect or lack of admiration on my part.
I think I just need clarification as to why you felt the need to put all this out there. Did you feel slighted or disrespected by someone at some point here?
I think I would have the same respect for you if you were a comeback player and couldn’t quite nail the Bb major scale yet.
Also, these are only words on a screen to me. Never have I seen any of these arrangements, nor heard any of this playing by you or your various groups, so there is a bit of a void in this whole resumé. This is only to say, I would LOVE to hear or see something more from you. That's my take on it. It’s not a challenge or rebuttal, but more of a desire on my part.......I'm a bit of a visual person....
My days as a student were difficult because of my learning style as well. Write it down and I will struggle. Show me or let me hear it, and I am halfway there. See?