Best posts made by barliman2001

Presidential Candidate Biden about his long family history: "The Bidens were on Noah's Ark"
President Trump: "The Trump family, at the Flood, had their own boat!"

@rowuk Robin,
as a part-time singing teacher, I've utilized the Circle of Breath many times... it really works. But as I feel it is more or less YOUR CoB, I let you explain it.

"Emergency! There's a young man climbing up to my room!" -
"Madam, this is for the police. You called the fire service."
"Exactly! He needs a longer ladder!"

@joelf Welcome to TB! You've come to the right place to find company and advice. There are three No-Nos here:

1. No politics
2. No woodwinds
3. No shirking

And there are three Musts:

1. Must check in regularly (even if only once a month) because there's so much new stuff coming in
2. Must always be ready for a joke to be flung around
3. Must always keep track of the number of instruments you have (incurable n+1 syndrome)

Oh, and one final obligation:

HAVE FUN!

@dr-go It's the wrong slot here because there's not much to laugh about my condition. Since I temporarily left TB, I've had two large-scale eye surgeries, both to repair my retina ablation. #1 was fairly successful in that my torn and folded retina was returned to its rightful place, and after the operation, I still had about 30% vision left. But the retina developed massive scar tissue which tore the repair into pieces, and I had to undergo a second operation which lasted for a full five hours and was extremely painful; this was in mid-January, and since then I haven't seen much improvement - sight in my right eye is down to 10%, there is constant pain because the surgeons (some of the best in the country, fortunately) had to put a tight silicon band all round the eyeball which is still in place six weeks later... I am unable to drive, unable to bend down (because that would risk another ablation), unable to do almost anything, have been prohibited from touching a trumpet for six months now (and that's no empty advice, my ophthalmic surgeon is a trumpet player of some note)... there is the constant threat of a third operation looming, and of course the statistical fact tht there is a 15% risk of my other eye getting a retinal ablation within the year... I honestly don't know how I would survive such a blow. All in all, a pretty bleak outlook.

@dr-go Won't ban you for that.

@dr-go I'd give money to see that!!

What's cheek?

Send a card "get better soon" to a viola player who's not sick.

(stolen from Rowuk)

Another clip from the same movie...

Not trumpet, but French horn, but still unbelievable...

https://www.facebook.com/FelixKlieser/videos/515111756293870

@georgeb Specially for you:

@bigdub Extremely rare... especially as in that picture a heron is standing in for the stork...

@ssmith1226

@bigdub Most people at some point in their lives have been in Consistent, and many senior citizens are now residing in Continent.

@administrator That's the second stage!

Is that your right or your left shoe?

@bigdub Finally, police asked a bystanding viola player: "Can you tell us something?" - "What about?"

@tjcombo A more or less accurate description of Austria at the moment... (Austrian police vehicle and uniforms in the pic)

@curlydoc I'll hunt out the newspaper...

Two elderly ladies are sitting on a bench in a cemetery. Suddenly, one pulls out some cosmetics and begins making up her face. With a sneer, the other lady asks, "How old are you?" - "79" - "And you still bother about make-up?" Silence. Then the reply: "And how old are you?" - "84" - "And you still bother about going home??"