@BigDub Wearing a uniform for a flight upgrade is easy. But flying internationally with just a target shooting club membership card as ID - that's tough.
Did it. In the old days, on a flight from Dublin to London Heathrow. As neither the UK nor Ireland had any compulsory form of ID, they accepted anything with your pic in it. They did not notice that that club membership card was nine years out of date!
(And no, it was AFTER 9/11).
@butcha Congratulations!! Well done!
@Tobylou8 It was a very bad joke bordering on the unpalatable. Deleted with reason.
Doctor: "Your cough sounds much better now."
Patient: "Well, I'm practising enough day and night."
@sessionaire I believe strongly in energetic work and Ortho-Bionomy. This kind of gentle massage has proved itself time and time again, the latest incidence being my recent eye trouble. I had a total ablation of the retina, resulting in 100% blindness in my right eye. When diagnosed, several doctors told me the retina was not only lifted off, but in shreds, and that even extensive restoration surgery would only result in that eye being able to distinguish light and dark. I had the surgery done - two operations, one of 4 hours, the other of 6 hours duration, both very painful, because you cannot do them under full anesthesia - and when I had left hospital, my wife (a fully qualified ortho-bionomy therapist beside being an opera singer www.reginaschoerg.art) began a set of treatments. Only yesterday, I saw my ophthalmologist again, and the exam showed that the ablated and torn retina is now whole again and fitting in its proper place, resulting in a sight power of 40%, and rising. The ophthalmologist was flabbergasted - "I know of no case of such a thing happening" and has asked me to allow a group of students to see me. So now I am the wonder of the age, due to a relatively new treatment. Why not try it yourself?
What does an out-of work philosopher say to a working philosopher?
"One burger with fries, please."
About a year ago, I suffered a catastrophic retinal ablation during an orchestra rehearsal and had to have eye surgery, resulting in several operations and permanent damage to my right eye. Recently, I've found out that several of my trumpet friends have had similar experiences, and I've talked to my ophthalmic surgeon. He is one of the best ophthalmic surgeons world-wide, and a come-back trumpet player. He found that there might be a necessity to look at the combination of trumpet-induced enhanced eye pressure and eye damage, and that there has been no relevant research so far. He is quite interested in this problem now and would like to get in contact with trumpet players who have experienced similar problems. Anyone interested is asked to kindly provide some kind of address or contact so that they can be included in the research programme. This means ANY TRUMPET PLAYER with eye problems that were not there before taking up the instrument. I can assure you that this surgeon - Professor Thomas Neuhann MD, an ophthalmic surgeon in the seventh generation - and his team will explore all the information with utmost care to privacy and will in most cases be able to either eliminate or alleviate existing conditions.
Moshe,
I am not taking up anything religious here. But I want to offer some practical help.
You say you neep some form of transport to get yourself and your racing vehicle (the electric wheelchair) to the venue. Can I help you by contributing to the cost of such transport? And perhaps, if a few more members contributed, we might get this problem out of the way in a few moments. I suggest that you create a crowndfunding site, and publish that here.
@mike-ansberry Actually, glaucoma is excessive pressure in the eyes, and it can be treated with special eye drops.
I'm just now enjoying the pleasure of being assistant deputy helper at the Gutenstein Master Classes (www.meisterklassen-gutenstein.com - my wife is Vice President of the show), and that entails a lot of ferrying people around: from Vienna to Gutenstein Village and back, fro and to the airport, shuttling people from their accommodation in the village to the rehearsal rooms and to the concert hall and so forth. Every master class lasts a week.
Today, I had the fun of ferrying three viola players back to Vienna. You should think that for informal master classes, you would have a small case, perhaps a suit hanger for concert dress and the instrument case. Not this lot. Every single one came with a big case, a small case, a backpack, two bags of groceries (for f...'s sake, it's an all-inclusive thing, with all meals included), the viola case (one even had two violas!)...handbags... little paper bags of souvenirs... I could not resist asking why they had that much luggage. I got a classic viola answer:
"Well, it might perhaps be snowing by the end of the week."
In Austria in July!!!
@administrator Thanks.
I've already conducted my first lesson in hospital - one of the nurses inherited a trumpet from an uncle (a rather decrepit but still functional Cerveny) and now wants to learn. Thanks to the good advice in Ivan Hunter's booklet Trumpeting 4 Fun (which, by the way, I am translating into German just now for publication sometime after Easter) she played her first note after only three minutes...
Like the guy who went to the dentist and was asked whether he wanted his tooth drawn first class or second class. "Well... what's the difference?" he asked. "Oh, it's quite simple. Second class, you get all the young nurses and all the old equipment, and in first class, it's the other way round."
@dr-go Only just this thread which is highly interesting to me, seeing that I'm to be released from hospital tomorrow after two weeks of treatment for pneumonia... but as regards the tin woodwinds, I think that their higher mortality rate is just due to sax and violins...
What's the name for the breathalyzer used by Mexican Police?
Coronatest
@dr-go Regular spitballs are stored in an alcoholic cleaning liquid that can do the job as well, if you use three or four new spitballs each time.
"Dad, who was Adam's mother-in-law?" -
"He did not have one, he lived in Paradise."
A guy has massive problems with bed-wetting at night. He's been through several courses of medication - no solution. Finally, he's sent to a psychotherapist. A few days later, he meets an old friend who is surprised to find his bed-wetting friend not despondent, but radiant. "Why are you looking so happy?" he asks. "It's because of that psychotherapist." the other one explains. - "It really worked?" - "No, but now I'm enjoying it!"
Presidential Candidate Biden about his long family history: "The Bidens were on Noah's Ark"
President Trump: "The Trump family, at the Flood, had their own boat!"