There is a Heaven for old and decrepit dollar bills... When a one-dollar bill and a fiver came there, they were admitted instantly. Then, a 100 dollar bill arrived at the gate, the Guardian Angel told it, "You can't come in here - I never saw you in Church!"
Many of us will be very busy indeed during the last days before Christmas; so I take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy festive season, whether you celebrate Christmas, Chanukka, the Return of the Missing Asteroid, the Feast of the Burnt Turkey or the Feast of Nothing at all. May all of you return to tell us about how you spent your time, and whether you had a Good Time or a Bad Time. And should you have a bad time, please remember that here on TB, at least one Global Moderator will be on duty, listening to your concerns and ready with advice if wanted or needed. Bye, 2019.
@Dr-GO Needs to be a slide instrument... but if you've once mastered the slide positions on a normal trombone, it's easy (relative distances as regards mouthpiece/bell rim remain roughly the same). It's tougher on the tenor trombone due to the vastly different mouthpiece size. But even that can be mastered with enough incentive: Some years ago I inherited a trombone from a dear departed friend... thirteen years after his passing, his daughter called me and told me they had opened up her father's music room for the first time, and found hand-written labels who was to inherit what... and his pride and joy went to me (B&H Sovereign big bell trombone)... and of course I was in honour bound to learn. First piece I played was Amazing Grace at his graveside... been using it for a number of gigs since.
Bit of talking at the beginning, about how seriously they take music... and then...
A Catholic priest, a Lutheran parson and a Rabbi were discussing how to handle the distribution of the collection between themselves and the Lord (as the priest put it). He said, "I always draw a circle around me, throw all the money in the air, and I keep what's outside the circle." - "Good method," says the Lutheran. "I use it myself. But I keep everything that's inside the circle." - "Why draw circles?", says the Rabbi. "The Good Lord is all-powerful, he does not need such puny devices. For me, it's quite simple. I throw all the money up to the Lord, and He returns to me whatever He deems appropriate for my needs."
@chelpres The "ue" in German is somewhere between a U "oo" and an i "ee". Reminding yourself of a Scottish accent, you might phonetically write it "ui" as in Scottish "puir" for "poor".
@Dr-GO said in SEASON'S GREETINGS:
Barliman2001, may you too have a Merry Merry. AND if you are in Dayton Ohio on the 24th, come join us in the one seat have left at the table. I am taking my entire wife's family (farmers) out to the Golden Lamb Inn (Oldest Inn in Ohio - 7 Presidents have slept there, and Sammuel Clemens) for Holiday Dinner. It's all on me.
Thank you, Gary, for that kind invitation. Unfortunately, Dayton is a bit far from Vienna (too far anyway for a short day trip by car!), otherwise I would take you up on that offer. We'll be cosily at home before a roaring fire, and on the 28th, all the family will turn up for a belated Christmas gathering and my famous Honey-Roast Duck with an Italian herb and chestnut filling, with red cabbage in wine and home-made potato dumplings - I've pre-ordered three plump ducks as we will be that many people! But as soon as I get myself back into some kind of physical shape, I'll be sitting on your doorstep.
Well, I think a Festivus song would not be in the spirit of the festival... unless you take all your grievances and make them into one long rap. Or you could use this...
@administrator If you want it, and have the money, go for it. Nothing as deplorable as a missed chance. As a German saying has it, "The opportune has long hair up in front to grab, but bald is from behind."
@ButchA said in SEASON'S GREETINGS:
I made my "toxic rum balls" if anyone wants one! LOL...
Edit:
<disclaimer>
I am not responsible for any DUI's or anything like that. Do not drive, do not operate machinery, after you have a few of these!!!
</disclaimer>
That sounds like the Scotsmans Breakfast. It consists of one large steak, a Border Collie and a bottle of whiskey.
The Collie gets the steak.
A couple were celebrating their Silver Wedding, and a friend asked them for their recipe for their married happiness.
"Oh, it's quite simple," the husband said. "Once a week, we have a romantic candlelight dinner, followed by a hot night in a luxury hotel."
"Sounds good, " the friend said. "And when do you find the time for that?" -
"Mine's every Thursday," the wife said, "and his every Sunday."
We were incredibly lucky... "Jungle Village" near Vienna used to be "recreational area" where land owners were only allowed to put up bathing huts on their properties - nothing to live in permanently, just shelters for holidays. When my wife got hold of the property by guaranteed long lease, that ban was still in place, so we paid around €15k as main payment and have a guaranteed lease to pay of €800 per year. We intended to use the property more or less for one or two storage huts. But out of the blue, the local authorities decided that they needed space for permanent housing, and where better than in an area where all the infrastucture was already in place? So they lifted the ban, and within weeks of getting hold of that 99-year lease, we were allowed to build a permanent home there...
"Please, sir," an old lady asks of the Cemetery Official, "where can I find grave 458, row 19?" - "Strewth! Sneaking away like that and not finding home again!"
@dale-proctor said in The Trumpets of Ancient Rome:
Very interesting! Those brought to mind this video of Egyptian trumpets being played. Authentic, slightly haunting sound - nothing like those old Hollywood movies.
You always have to bear in mind that the sound of the Egyptian instrument is the sound of an actual ancient piece, whereas all the others are more or less exact modern copies (as far as I know, these reproductions took no notice of the exact metallurgy of the originals, but just followed the shape).
A Christmas thought:
What would a crib be without Jews, Arabs and Foreigners? -
Just an ox and an ass.
As this topic is slowly getting off the rails, and there have not been any inputs regarding rules for some time, I am locking this topic.
Ok, change of topic. A guy is drinking in a bar with his friends and seems pretty miserable. "What's the matter, Jake?" one friend asks. "Normally, you're the life and soul of the party, and tonight you're like a mouse eaten by a snake..." - "It's my mother-in-law," he says. "She's changed her will and totally disinherited us, just because I looked at her." - "That's pretty nasty, for such a minor thing." - "Well, it happened as we were saying Grace at lunch, and I looked at her when we reached, 'and deliver us from Evil'..."
