I've just researched the matter. Greatleather is a boutique leather goods manufacturer with an eye to musicians' needs. Without this connection, I would have terminated this new membership; but seeing that there is a direct connection with trumpet playing, I'll let the memership live. Homepage at www.greatleather.com.
A guy is lying in a hospital ward. In comes a man in a white coat and starts fiddling about with a measuring tape. "Wh-why a-are you m-m-measuring me, Doctor?" the patient asks, faintly. - "Doctor? I'm not the doctor, I'm the joiner..."
@Kehaulani said in Acoustics... and a bit more:
@ barliman - I've read several of your posts where you write, "orchestra". In the U.S. that means a large ensemble with strings (ELO withstanding). When I worked in Germany, the term orchestra was used for any large instrumental group, with or without strings. Which do you mean? Thanks.
In this case, it was the Vienna Lakeside Symphony Orchestra. Eight first violins, six second violins, three violas, three cellos. Two flutes, two clarinets, one bassoon, one saxophone. Two trumpets, one trombone, one baritone horn, one tuba. Electric bass, drumset, piano.
I think you can call that an orchestra...
In earlier posts, I was referring to the Vienna Klezmer Orchestra which had a large string section as well, in addition to an unholy number of clarinets (nine!! including a bass clarinet), seven flutes including a bass flute, three recorders, a full brass section and four accordions...
Niiiceee... if only there weren't so many mouthpiece pouches covering the horn! 
@rowuk I haven't done it since the comments began.
There is a Heaven for old and decrepit dollar bills... When a one-dollar bill and a fiver came there, they were admitted instantly. Then, a 100 dollar bill arrived at the gate, the Guardian Angel told it, "You can't come in here - I never saw you in Church!"
@J-Jericho said in Acoustics... and a bit more:
IMO acoustics at a venue requires a balance of science, art, and experience to be successful. It's impractical to test-fill the space with the anticipated number of warm bodies prior to the performance and to replicate in advance air density, temperature, and humidity.
Well, in one orchestra we had a Red Cross worker, and at every dress rehearsal, the Red Cross provided up to seven hundred woollen blankets to simulate the audience... they usually declared this an "emergency exercise".
Definition of Alzheimer's Alcoholism:
You drink a lot and then forget to pay for it.
A Catholic priest, a Lutheran parson and a Rabbi were discussing how to handle the distribution of the collection between themselves and the Lord (as the priest put it). He said, "I always draw a circle around me, throw all the money in the air, and I keep what's outside the circle." - "Good method," says the Lutheran. "I use it myself. But I keep everything that's inside the circle." - "Why draw circles?", says the Rabbi. "The Good Lord is all-powerful, he does not need such puny devices. For me, it's quite simple. I throw all the money up to the Lord, and He returns to me whatever He deems appropriate for my needs."
@georgeb With breaks, of course. Austrian weddings involve many speeches all over the day, and lots of pranks. In total, there's perhaps twelve ours playing time in 28 hours of attendance.
@Dr-GO That one is on the brink... hovering over the abyss of being banned by a moderator...
Well, I think a Festivus song would not be in the spirit of the festival... unless you take all your grievances and make them into one long rap. Or you could use this...
@georgeb Weddings? Coming home at 2 am? That's a tame wedding... here in Austria, a wedding starts at 6am, with a rousing fanfare played in the street in front of the groom's house; then there's the morning snack and schnaps; then the registry office wedding, afterwards the church wedding, then the reception. After that, the dance band takes over from the oompah band until midnight, when the newlyweds retire; and the dance band continues, because next morning, the wedding guests have to wake up the honeymooners... so if you are lucky enough to be in the dance band and sub in the oompah outfitm you are getting up at four am, play for more or less 24 hours flat out, and are back at home around 10am... tired, not wired!
@Tobylou8 It was a very bad joke bordering on the unpalatable. Deleted with reason.
@georgeb Still playing until he peacefully passed away at age 92.
A couple were celebrating their Silver Wedding, and a friend asked them for their recipe for their married happiness.
"Oh, it's quite simple," the husband said. "Once a week, we have a romantic candlelight dinner, followed by a hot night in a luxury hotel."
"Sounds good, " the friend said. "And when do you find the time for that?" -
"Mine's every Thursday," the wife said, "and his every Sunday."
@tornado1957 If you don't play, why don't you start?