A little humour

BigDub

People say to me, "A penny for your thoughts?".

But then they want change.

Dr GO

People say to me, "A penny for your thoughts?".

But then they want change.

Hey. You can send me one of your paintings that are a product of your thoughts on canvas for a penny.
You can keep the change!

SSmith1226

What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Dr GO

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.

However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!

Dr GO

St. Peter in Heaven is checking ID’s. He asks a man, “What did you do on Earth?”
The man says, “I was a doctor.”
St. Peter says, “Okay, go right through those pearly gates.

Next! What did you do on Earth?”
“I was a school teacher.”
“Go right through those pearly gates.

Next! And what did you do on Earth?”
“I was a jazz musician.”
“Go around the side, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen…..”

Dr GO

Kenny G has made a new album featuring his own adaptations of Thelonious Monk compositions.

The album is titled from it's first track:
‘Straight No Changes’

Dr GO

Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...

SSmith1226

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.

However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...

Dr GO

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

The WORSE case of rectal prolapse I've ever seen! Hell's bells, the damn thing looks like it has fibrosis as hard a brass.

SSmith1226

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

The WORSE case of rectal prolapse I've ever seen! Hell's bells, the damn thing looks like it has fibrosis as hard a brass.

A Br-Ass Prolapsing Artisan’s Bell no less.

Dr GO

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

The WORSE case of rectal prolapse I've ever seen! Hell's bells, the damn thing looks like it has fibrosis as hard a brass.

An Br-Ass Prolapsing Artisan’s Bell no less.

I rectum so.

SSmith1226

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

The WORSE case of rectal prolapse I've ever seen! Hell's bells, the damn thing looks like it has fibrosis as hard a brass.

An Br-Ass Prolapsing Artisan’s Bell no less.

I rectum so.

And if you sit down like that, you will have wrecked um for sure!

The Wrecked Um Trumpet Bell

Tobylou8

Colon guys! #1-These jokes serve no proctacol purpose. I sphincter ya'll could a doodoo a better job! #2..... , yeah, I said it, I'm laughing so hard I fell off my stool!!!

Dr GO

@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

Colon guys! I'm laughing so hard I fell off my stool!!!

We do do have medications for this. On the islands in-continents!

Tobylou8

I guess it all Depends on the side effects.

SSmith1226

@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

Colon guys! #1-These jokes serve no proctacol purpose. I sphincter ya'll could a doodoo a better job! #2..... , yeah, I said it, I'm laughing so hard I fell off my stool

Your facile, skilled use of medical terminology shows that you are by no means a novice in this field or for that matter in linguistics. If you conscientiously study the following definitions, and apply them correctly, it is likely that you will get a promotion to at least Tobylou9 or even higher!!!
For example, take the term “Rectum”. After studying this medical dictionary the following application would be medically correct:

Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends were.
"Horrible," said Johnny. "A car hit my cat in the ass!"
"Rectum," said the teacher. "Say rectum."
"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

The sky is the limit. Good luck!

Artery: The study of fine paintings

Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria
Barium: What doctors do when patients die

Catscan: Searching for kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Coma: A punctuation mark.

D&C: Where Washington is

Enema: Not a friend
ER: The things on your head that you hear with

Fester: Quicker than someone else

Genes: Blue denim slacks
G.I. Series: World Series of military baseball

Hemorrhoid: A male from outer space

Impotent: Distinguished, well-known

Medical Staff: A doctor’s cane
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates

Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move
Outpatient: A person who has fainted

Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad
Pathalogical: A reasonable way to go
Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative: A letter carrier

Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery
Rectum: Almost killed him
Red Blood Count: Dracula

Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: Roman Emperor

Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Thorax: A Dr. Seuss character
Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak
Tumor: More than one, an extra pair

Varicose: Near by/close by
Vein : Conceited

Kehaulani

This post is deleted!

J. Jericho

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.

However, maybe if the trumpet player wasn't baroque, the trills would be fixed up!

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

Tell me if you heard this one:
A drummer walked past the bar...

Maybe he just ate some beans. You know... "The more you eat, the more you toot."

BigDub

Robrtx

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

The WORSE case of rectal prolapse I've ever seen! Hell's bells, the damn thing looks like it has fibrosis as hard a brass.

Is that what is known as a "Culohorn" ?