A little humour
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Insurance
Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan called the insurance company.
Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand dollars, and I want my money.”
The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.”
There was a long pause, and then Susan replied, “If that’s how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband.” -
Two farmers are talking in the local watering-hole.
Farmer 1: "i've now taken out a new insurance - fire, storms and hail."
Farmer 2: "I do understand fire insurance - but how do you make it hail?" -
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I found an article today titled “ 17 memes you’ll understand if you love-to-hate being a classical musician”. Here are a few of them. I will put the link below as well.
https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/humour/classical-music-memes-for-musicians/
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"Your cough sounds much better today." -
"No wonder, I've been practising day and night." -
"Men are like lava lamps: Nice to look at, but not very bright."
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"Emergency! There's a young man climbing up to my room!" -
"Madam, this is for the police. You called the fire service."
"Exactly! He needs a longer ladder!" -
ACRONYMS FOR THE OVER 65 CROWD
The "kids" have all their little SMS ( Short Message Service ) codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL, etc. So here are some codes for us more mature texters.ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kickin In!See whether you can add to this. For example,
DSMPETM- Didn’t sleep much, peed every thirty minutes
GCKM- Gas and constipation killing me!
CFMK- Cant find my keys
NMTIMH- Never mind, they’re in my hand -
LOL - Lots of Lounging
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Strange things happen in lock-down
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Single guy: Goes to the fridge, does not find anything interesting and goes to bed.
Married guy: Goes to bed, does not find anything interesting and goes to the fridge. -
What's the worst nightmare of a sleeping bat?
Diarrhoea. -
Journalist: "Why do your buses always travel in groups of three?"
Bus Driver: "We need to protect ourselves against the angry mob."
Journalist: "And why is the mob so angry?"
Bus Driver: "Because we always travel in groups of three." -
Why can you describe the People of Hungary as "Nazis on Gallows"? -
Because they are Hung Arians.
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Dogs cant operate MRI machines, but...................cats scan!
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I thought I saw a German sausage fly by my window, but it was only a seabird..... I think I've taken a tern for the wurst!
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Let's get all philosophical for a moment...
