A little humour

Tobylou8

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii, or just a low ha?

Tobylou8

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."

Dr GO

@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii, or just a low ha?

Is that laiman's language?

BigDub

I wouldn’t say I do a great deal of flying, but with that being said, here are some things I have heard:
When I asked for a coffee, “I'm sorry, we are out of lids so the FTA won’t allow us to serve it”
Later I asked a real airline flight attendant if this was a real thing, and she said, “what??? I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING”
Another time I asked how could I report that someone asked me to transport something for them without my knowledge if I would have no knowledge of it?
“That’s why we have to make that announcement”, they said.
On another flight, an announcement was made, “please feel free to hesitate to ask if you need anything”

J. Jericho

Words to live by: When it comes to pain, 'tis better to give than to receive.

Dr GO

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

Words to live by: When it comes to pain, 'tis better to give than to receive.

Then they come to me for evaluation and I receive again.

Dr GO

Which reminds me of the following corollary?

Why does it take so long to get a cemetery plot?

Because people are dying to get in!

Tobylou8

![alt text]( image url)

BigDub

Let’s be clear. It is a real thing. The cow lick.

J. Jericho

Words to live by: "Always make the audience suffer as much as possible." - Alfred Hitchcock
Remember this the next time you play a gig.

J. Jericho

BigDub

@J-Jericho

J. Jericho

J. Jericho

SSmith1226

I wasn’t sure whether to post this here or under Medical Concerns. Every year from around November 1 through January 15, I suffer through this same malady, which this year is exceptionally worse due to the pandemic situation. I feel trapped! Every day is like Groundhog day in my household. Oh, the horror of it all....
The following video explains it all better than I can express it.

J. Jericho

@SSmith1226 Watching this video on YouTube brings up a stream of suggested similar videos, which, if you watch them one after another, will give you a good ab workout from all the laughing. My personal favorite for the Christmas holiday season has been anything by Bob Rivers, but a search for Christmas parody songs will bring up plenty of new parodies, too.

Dr GO

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

Dr GO

If you spell your name backward and put an umlaut over one of the vowels, that is your Ikea name.

I am ydanö. I am fairly certain that would be a soap dish.

BigDub

Kind of odd that non-hyphenated is hyphenated.

Shouldn’t abbreviate be a lot shorter?

And pi? Longer than my arm.

Covert, overt. I just don’t c the difference.