Best posts made by Tobylou8

Finally some new stuff from Louis just in time for Christmas!!!

Alright! I'm a day one member. TH poster LittleRusty already critiquing your spelling. Whew, I had forgotten what a chore it was to engage in all the c&p "discussion"! Ew, Ew, Ew, CAN I BE A MODERATOR???

A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, ...please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now tell me, what the heck would you say?"

It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son were avid bowlers. Infortunately, all of the leagues records were destroyed in a fire. So we will probably never know for whom the Tell's bowled!

A blind trumpet player wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
   Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
   The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

@Dr-GO said in The Seven C's:

@Tobylou8

The real secret to getting a double C on a regular basis... Buy a Harrelson Summit!

So.. not a secret anymore.

@BigDub said in Bundy!:

@J-Jericho said in Bundy!:

Here's a demonstration of how to play a Bundy trumpet by ear:

This guy clearly doesn’t know how to play

EXCUSE ME!!!! He has an ear for trumpet!!

Solo parece justo que exista una función de traducción para nosotros en español. ¿Sí?

Try the El Gato on a Conn 40B!!!!

Colon guys! #1-These jokes serve no proctacol purpose. I sphincter ya'll could a doodoo a better job! #2..... , yeah, I said it, I'm laughing so hard I fell off my stool!!!

@mafields627 said in Is a $280 New Bach Stradivarius Trumpet too good to be true?:

As a band director, I would hate to have to burst some kid's bubble thinking they had scored a great horn. There's always a lot of excitement that comes with those purchases. However, I also know what the results will be down the road. Some of them do sound pretty good until they start needing repairs. For some reason, though, parents often refuse to consult their student's band director before making these sorts of purchases.

Yep!! I was consulted about a horn for a beginner and gave the person many options and price points, and brands to look for. There are LOTS of Yamaha 2335 trumpets available locally in the $200-$300 range. After several discussions that included info about horns I owned (odd), the inquiries stopped. I later found out, a $79.95 band director approved, black lacquer TSO, complete with white gloves was purchased instead. The inquiries about my horns had been raised in hopes that I would help an aspiring young student buy giving them one of my horns.
I am of the mind that you get what you pay for and Caveat Emptor should always be at the forefront of any horn purchase. A new Strad for $280 to good to be true? Absolutely too good to be true.

I have a Getzen SD that belonged to a personal friend of Louis. There are pictures of him playing it floating around but I can't seem to find them. The last guy to have them passed awhile ago... . I didn't want to intrude on his families grief looking for a picture, then I forgot about it. Would it add to the value of my horn?? Don't care really, it would just be a cool pic to have.

A gas station owner was trying to increase his sales; So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon a local pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The guy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time." A week later, the same guy, along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the guy said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."

@barliman2001 said in Is Air Needed To Play The Trumpet:

Well, at least you need massive amounts of air moving through the trumpet to use spitballs.

Especially to reach the flute section!!!