Best posts made by BigDub

Here's another one for your observation. This is the West Quoddy Head Lighthouse in Maine, done as a commission for a friend in my town to give to her son, who took the reference pictures. They were very good

@SSmith1226 said in Artist on BOARD:

Time to post another painting of something that perhaps is not a cow. Maybe a sheep or a landscape.

You took the words right out of my mouth....This is a view of the Delaware and Raritan Canal about 5 miles from my home and a place I spent many a day enjoying as a kid. Swimming, canoeing, hiking, even camping out along the towpath

A new challenge I gave myself is to do a different painting each day for maybe a week ( 5 days ). Hey, I'm the one who made it up, right? I might go longer. We'll see. I wanted to concentrate the subject matter to dramatic sky scapes. Here is day one. Yes, I did complete it in one 2 hour session. It’s small.

Here is the cradle I made for our first grandchild. The Cherry wood was given to me by a very good friend who once baby sat for our daughter ( future mom of our grand daughter).
The tree was milled from her property. It had been struck by lightning. The cradle was m original design by myself. It has a lot of sentimentality to it...from many levels!

Here is another piece, one that has been on my mind for a while, to create, that is.

@GeorgeB said in Railroad Photography:

@Dr-GO

You're a riot, Doc...

DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM!

I'd like to show you what I just finished. So here goes.

Well, here’s something you will either like or not.
I think it's true. Like Moby Dick.
I heard this story while visiting Boise, Idaho more than twenty years ago. Here’s what I heard: an inmate was released from the Idaho State penitentiary there in Boise Idaho. Arthur ( Something ) was his name, and he had done quite a number of years in the slammer. Having no employable skills, he tried to get some work, but when he struck out so many times he finally took a job to rub someone out. With no experience, all he could negotiate was one dollar for the job. He was informed that the victim did their grocery shopping on Tuesdays at the M&W market on Broadway. He made his plan to wait in the parking lot of the market. He would simply use his bare hands, since he had no funds to get a real weapon. The victim came to her car with a cart full of groceries, and Art made his move and put his hands on her throat and strangled the victim. He knew he would get his payday now. Just then another concerned citizen jumped in to try to rescue the woman but alas, he strangled him as well. Arthur was immediately apprehended by police who quickly arrived to the location.

The next day the headline on the crime section of the Idaho Statesman said: ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT M&W MARKET!

I saved these for quite a while. They are worth revisiting. Supposedly from actual court proceedings. You be the judge, pardon the pun.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

---

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

---

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

---

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

---

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

---

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

---

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

---

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

---

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

---

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

---

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

---

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

---

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

---

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

---

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

---

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...

---

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

---

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

---

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

@administrator said in A little humour:

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@Mike-Ansberry said in A little humour:

Gotta steal this one.

Rest assured, 99.9% of jokes are stolen. IMHO
Well, they had to be original at some point, so let me adjust that figure.........”most” jokes are stolen.

I have yet to hear an "original joke." Get it? ... probably not.

???
Here’s an original joke for you-

ADAM: knock, knock
EVE: who's there?
ADAM: Who do you think?

Oops, forgot I was going to post this, too!
( one of my all time favorite far sides, and there are many )

Here is one I did of the path I take nearly every day on my walk. I was fortunate to get some reference photos at the perfect time. In only a couple of short weeks I don’t even recognize the same spot anymore!

Another thing I just put together pretty quickly. The painting part was fast, but the preliminary planning lasted over many days...

@J-Jericho

I did a bit of a tribute to my cousin, who was a significant influence on my artistic life. His painting, which I did a study on here, was a fall scene, so I did a very similar scene in a winter feel

Another one from the Poconos in Pennsylvania.
I was able to use a great reference photo by a friend from my home town who lives bear there now.