Best posts made by BigDub

@Dr-GO

You mean, North Dakota?

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

grune, sadly this is true. When I was a graduate student at Colorado State, I would sky often at Copper Mountain where there would be large groups of "tourists" coming up to sky our Rockies. I rode a lift with a College student from Texas hitting the slopes for the first time, and I was reassuring him how great the snow was in Colorado. He said, Oh, sure, not surprising since Colorado was right on the border to Canada.

What did you mean by "sky"?

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

Mark Twain

Auto racing began five minutes after the second car rolled off the assembly line.
Henry Ford

“They couldn’t hit an elephant from here”

General John Sedgewick, Union. Last words at the battle of Spotsylvania. Civil war.

When you get to the fork in the road, take it.

Yogi Berra

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Also, Yogi

It ain’t over till it's over.

It’s like deja vu all over again.

Thank you for making this day necessary.

You don’t look so hot yourself.. ( told to John Lindsey’s wife at an awards ceremony for the Yankees at city hall )
He said that to her when she remarked how cool he appeared in spite of how hot it was that afternoon.

All by Yogi

@Newell-Post said in A little humour:

@BigDub I swear on a stack of bibles that I am good personal friends with the professor of forensic pathology who said the last one.

One Bible is sufficient

Kia Motors and Apple are going to embark on a joint venture where car buyers can assemble their own vehicles and enjoy tremendous savings in the process.
They'll most likely call it iKia, or IKEA, not sure what the spelling will be.

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

I always wanted to open my own pastry shop..... but I could never raise the dough!

I am a part owner of one... Was able to contribute enough bread to finalize the investment which turned out to be the icing on the cake. Stop by any time. It's just yeast of the flour shop.

Made a killing on donut holes, as I convinced the customers, the holes have no calories.

I might try to roll by and give you some business. It’s the yeast I could do. All I knead is the address. Piece of cake. Easy as pie.
If I don’t make it, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Spoiler alert:These are not going to be very good. I warned you.

Where's the capital of Alaska, juno?
What did the Swiss conductor say in the middle of practice?
What’s the Matterhorn?
Name the largest ocean. Be pacific.
What do they call French doors in France?
Do they call apple pie American?
Take baseball. I have a lot to say about that.

A UPS truck, a Propane delivery truck, and a tow truck all got stuck at the same time on my friend's steep and icy driveway.
I completely forgot the punch line, but it was really funny.
You would have liked it.

This trumpet only comes out at Christmas time. It might well be my favorite ornament!

You have all heard teachers, advisors, seminar leaders and the like say, “there are no dumb questions”.

Would anyone like to put their two cents in on this?

Welcome, @gloucestre.
There is an app I use for photo reduction that is called Resizer.
It is extremely easy to use and there are about three steps and you’re good to go. Oh, it might be important for me to mention that I use it on an iPad, but I am fairly sure it is PC ready as well.

Feel free to message me if you have questions, mate!

Another couple in Dustin and Jane's group of friends was much more successful with having children and loved the whole idea of being parents. Carl and Lisa had 3 children in rapid succession and all the friends were quite perplexed that they suddenly stopped having kids. Dustin and Jane asked them about it, saying, how come you stopped at three so sudden like? Don’t you want a big crew of children?
Well, we did, they said, but recently they heard that one out of four children born in the world is Chinese, and they just didn’t think they could take the chance.

Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.

The adoption centre called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption centre,

They stopped by the local college so they each could enrol in night courses.

After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired,

“Whatever possessed you to study Russian?”

The couple said proudly,

“We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”

@mike-ansberry said in A little humour:

@j-jericho That took me a couple of minutes.
It is taking me many minutes.......I still don't get it

Ole decided to buy a book for his plane flight to Minnesota, so to save money he decided to go to a used book store.
He was so thrilled to find a mint condition leather bound looking book with gold piping beauty titled “ How to Hug “- for only a dollar!
Wow, he thought, I better pay for this before they figure out it was labeled wrong! He figured he could always use some tips on how to hug. Who wouldn’t?
He brought it on the flight and started to read it.
The person sitting next to him saw it and said, “hey, man, how come you're reading the 8th volume of the encyclopedia?”