Best posts made by barliman2001

I'm posting this with a heavy heart...
As much as I love trumpets, cornets, flugelhorns, mouthpieces, mutes and everything that comes with them... it is taking up too much of my time. I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics of cleaning and cooking and maintaining my home, so something has to give. I will be getting rid of my collection.
Below is a list of what's available. Serious inquiries only, and please don't insult me with low offers.
Thanks for reading and understanding...

1. Dustpan and broom, as new
2. Sponges, with patina
3. Toilet spray, full
4. Mop and bucket, as new
5. Window cleaner, hardly ever used
6. Vacuum
7. Dishwashing liquid
8. Laundry detergent
9. Fabric softener
10. Laundry baskets
11. Toilet brush, vintage
12. Cleaning sprays
13. Wife thrown in

(stolen from Jerry Ringo)

Ok, as promised, here's the report from the first concert with the ACB picc.
Read about "Acoustics" - description of the very unconventional hall we played in. Lots of open spaces, lots of glass, two staircases... during rehearsal, sound just vanished. At the performance, the ACB without amp easily filled the hall without effort, blended well with all the brass section of the orchestra (one Lechner Bb, one Cerveny tenor horn, one K&H trombone and a really ancient Lidl tuba). No problem with intonation even after a long wait for it being played - only used in the final piece.
Audience were thrilled, gave us 14 minutes of applause. I'm content.

Cold is of no importance when transporting instruments - only when playing...
I remember one Christmas gig in Austria, with temperatures nicely below zero for several weeks... and then we were supposed to play a Christmas service in a church that rarely if ever is used (secondary Catholic church lent to Protestants on occasion). When we arrived through about one foot of snow, the caretaker informed us that he "had switched the heating on ten minutes ago".... in a frozen-through Baroque church!!

We were seven - two trumpets, one flugelhorn, one French horn, one baritone, one trombone and a 5/4 Kaiser tuba... when tuning at the beginning, everything was fine. But with having to wait in between pieces for the service to continue... intonation went haywire, and we ended up being more or less halt a tone apart...
horrible... and in the final piece, the rotary valves of the tuba and the french horn suddenly froze... luckily, we were seated near the door and were able to escape with our lives before the service ended...

@_mark_ James Morrison and his multiphonics come to mind.

Vintage Besson London cornet with Bb/A rotary switch...

@SSmith1226 As Mark Twain once said, "Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: They must be changed frequently, and for the same reason."

Last week, I lost nine pounds.
Luckily, I found them again in the cookie jar.

FACT: Einstein applied for a Chair of Mathematics in Zurich and was rejected because "his theories were too far-fetched for use in academic teaching."

Actually, the Latin version has not "corners" but the word plagis which can mean anything from "net" to "hit" to "foundation". And that in itself is just a translation from Hebrew kânâph meaning "uttermost extremity" or "wingtip". So you could possibly imagine a bird-shaped Earth, with the peoples gathering from the uttermost wingtips of the bird (somewhat like the giant turtle in Terry Pratchett's writings).

"Nurse, did you take blood from the guy in 243?" -
"Yes, Doctor, but I only got about ten pints. He's sleeping peacefully now."

President Trump and the Archbishop of Canterbury are playing golf together. Rather frequently, the POTUS misses his putt and every time, he explains, "Darn! I missed!". The Archbishop reminds him of the commandment not to swear, telling him Heaven will record his actions and deal out fitting punishment. At the next hole, the POTUS misses a 2-inch putt: "Darn! I missed!" A dark cloud is gathering in the sky, and out of that cloud, a bolt of lightning hits the Archbishop, killing him instantly, Then, a voice is heard from the cloud: "Darn! I missed!"

A wife, being somewhat romantic, sends a text to her husband who's on a business trip:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears...I love you!"
The husband's reply?
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

JUST LOOK AT THIS!!

https://moteefe.com/store/trombone/born-to-be-a-trombone?color=black&cp=OFF2020&fbclid=IwAR3I2J8YFMKD8PYCb1tf9xXCt1vsRH-KqIyRz5RRvXiXY69CHe9kTeMVatc&product=unisex-t-shirt

John entered a Covid-19 Vaccine Centre and was given his first dose.
On the way home, he found he had suddenly developed severe vision problems. So he called the vaccine centre to ask whether he should see his doctor or go straight into hospital.
"Don't go to the doctor OR the hospital. Your only chance is to return here and collect the glasses you forgot!"

Vienna, Austria
Traffic lights beside the Opera.
A tourist in a hired car is so entranced by the sight he misses the green light.
A Viennese stops by, winds down the window and calls out, "Your colour didn't come up, did it?"

@tjcombo Two English gentlemen are sitting beside a river, fishing. Suddenly, one rod twitches, and the relevant gentleman pulls a beautiful mermaid from the waters. He regards her for a long time, then throws her back into the river.
Some time later, his companion asks, "Why?"
The answer? "How?"

@j-jericho More like a botfly - you know, the things they pull out of cats' noses on Youtube...

As I am enjoying a leisure moment, I have begun a list of every instrument I ever owned... not in chronological order. And I've decided that you out there, my trumpet friends, should be allowed to share this info.
Please do not see this as boasting, but as plain information.
I am including the fate of each instrument whenever it has decided to move on.

Bb trumpets:
Comet ***
UMI King Silver Flair Dizzy Bell (sold)
Jupiter STR-1010, with one straight and one Dizzy Bell, and an adapted Schilke BERYLLIUM bell (sold)
Jupiter 840 (sold)
Dowids Jazzline (sold)
Stomvi Elite Bb (sold)
Ganter G5 (exchanged for G7)
Ganter G7 custom (sold)
Olds Ambassador (given to a friend as present)
Olds Special (returned to original seller as he after the deal could not bear to part with it)
Olds Studio (for sale at Votruba's in Vienna)
Olds Recording
Courtois Balanced
Buescher Aristocrat 265
Conn International (Amati stencil)
Selmer K-Modified (stolen in burglary in Ireland)
UMI Benge #7 (for sale at Votruba's in Vienna)
Buescher #9
Buescher #11 with quick change to A (stolen in burglary in Ireland)

Pocket Bb trumpets:
Jupiter, small bell (sold)
Stomvi Forte (sold)
Arnold & Sons (Jupiter clone)

C trumpets:
Bach Strad 239, with additional slides in Bb and Ab (stolen in Munich)
Bach Strad rotary C (stolen in burglary in Ireland)
Stomvi Elite (sold)
Couesnon Bb/C (for sale at Votruba's in Vienna)
Gaudet C

D trumpets:
DEG Signature (re-sold within two weeks)
Ganter G3 (sold)
Stomvi Elite (sold)
Courtois

Eb trumpets:
Stomvi (sold)

F trumpet:
Bach Strad (sold)

G picc:
Scherzer (sold)
1966 Selmer

Bb/A picc:
1967 Selmer (sold)
1979 Selmer (sold)
Besson Kanstul 920 (sold, very much regretted)
Stomvi Elite (sold)
Votruba Professional (stolen in Vienna, found and destroyed by police on suspicion of being a bomb)
ACB Doubler

Bb cornets:
Weltklang, with custom made Ab slides (sold)
Ganter Custom (sold)
Besson Imperial (in need of restoration)
Stomvi Elite (sold)
Ganter rotary cornet (returned to H. Ganter for private collection)
Besson International (2x)
Buescher Aristocrat 264
Jupiter student cornet (sold)
Elkhart by Buescher (for sale at Votruba's in Vienna)
Blessing Artist (present to my Scottish godchild)
Unnamed 1880s HP cornet, with personal engraving

Eb cornets:
Besson Imperial (in need of restoration)
B&H Sovereign Round Stamp bell-tuned Soprano (2x, one stolen in burglary in Ireland, the other sold)
Ganter Custom

Flugelhorns:
Ganter G15 (sold)
Votruba Profi (sold)
Courtois 154R
Thomann "Black Jazz" (sold within a week)
Clemens August Glier Kuhlohorn (almost sold...)

I think that's it... enjoy.

"Student, how would you define a Minor Second?" -
"Two clarinets in unison, sir."

@dr-go That sounds rather like the explanation I gave to a group of Texan tourists when guiding them through the Golden Hall at Passau City Hall... There is a very large painting of the wedding of an Austrian Emperor to a Bavarian Princess, and I asked them whether they knew that the fact that the Emperor married in Passau was directly responsible for US Independence? No? Ok, here's the reason. If the Emperor had not married there, he would not have known about the Mariahilf Monastery there. He could not have made a pilgrimage there to pray for victory over the Turks (we're talking 17th cent. here). In consequence, he could not have defeated the Turks and would not have captured their camp. Therefore he would not have found the first bags of coffee in Europe. Without the coffee... there would not have been coffee houses in Vienna. And without them, there would not have been Edward Lloyd's Vienna Coffee House in Boston, Mass., where the conspirators for the Boston Tea Party used to meet and plot. And thus what is now the US would still be a group of English colonies... Long faces, "We didn't know thaaaat..." and the sounds of chins dropping to the polished marble floor... and a couple of English tourists were laughing their heads off...