A little humour
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An employee went to speak to his boss. “Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?”
“Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?” the boss said.
“Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this firm for over ten years.”
“Yes.”
“I won’t beat around the bush,” the employee said. “Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first. I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.”
The boss answered: “Taking into account these factors, and considering I don’t want to start a brain drain, I’m willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?”“Great! It’s a deal! Thank you, sir!”
“Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?” the boss asked.
“Oh, the electric company, gas company, water company and the mortgage company!” -
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A blast from the past... one of my all-time favorite short films:
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@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:
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Unfunny.
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Just as I was getting a little bored with the redundancy, the kicker came. Clever.
BTW, Terri Garr is to die for.
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@Kehaulani said in A little humour:
Just as I was getting a little bored with the redundancy, the kicker came. Clever.
BTW, Terri Garr is to die for.
She's got a great attitude, which helps her cope with her health issues.
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Let's try to keep things as non-offensive as possible. Thanks.
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I have seen this one before but I can’t remember whether it was here, or even worse whether I posted it. I apologize in advance if either of these are affirmative.
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said: “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always and will always be shared, 50/50.”
Touched by the beautiful display of love, the young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat. She shook her head kindly and replied: “It’s his turn with the teeth.” -
Mea Culpa!!! I did post a variation of that joke Five months ago. For my penance, since this is a music site, I give you “Mea Culpa “ by Enigma.
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In case you haven't seen this one yet...
IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED….
A friend of mine has two tickets to the 2020 Super Bowl here in Miami, both box seats. He paid $11,500 each. They come with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, and $400 bar tab. Also, 2 back stage passes to the winner’s locker room.
He didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place…it’s at St Stephen's Church here in Miami at 3:00 PM that Saturday. Her name is Ashley, she’s 5’4”, about 115 lbs. , and she is a good cook too. She loves to fish and hunt. She’ll be the one in the white dress, up front.
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@J-Jericho said in A little humour:
In case you haven't seen this one yet...
IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED….
A friend of mine has two tickets to the 2020 Super Bowl here in Miami, both box seats. He paid $11,500 each. They come with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, and $400 bar tab. Also, 2 back stage passes to the winner’s locker room.
He didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place…it’s at St Stephen's Church here in Miami at 3:00 PM that Saturday. Her name is Ashley, she’s 5’4”, about 115 lbs. , and she is a good cook too. She loves to fish and hunt. She’ll be the one in the white dress, up front.
My only question before considering assisting, has the wedding ring already been purchased?
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On second thought, that's ok, I yield as Vulgano Brother could use a nice home.
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How do you get a trumpet player to play triple forte on his part?
Mark mezzo piano on the score.
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How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
Take away their instrument.
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What's the difference between God and a trumpet player?
God knows He is not a trumpet player.
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How are trumpet players like pirates?
They both murder on the high C's.