A little humour

BigDub

I was taking a Japan Airlines flight from Tokyo to Wash. D.C. and got upgraded to first class because I was wearing a uniform. They served me a multi-course traditional Japanese banquet-meal that was to die for.

But you didn’t. And wouldn’t. Would you?
If you died for it, how would you eat it?

BigDub

@barliman2001 said in A little humour:

Now that we've relearned how to wash our hands, we can tackle how to use indicators in traffic.

When can we start taking showers again?

Kehaulani

@BigDub said in A little humour:

@Kehaulani said in A little humour:

I was taking a Japan Airlines flight from Tokyo to Wash. D.C. and got upgraded to first class because I was wearing a uniform. They served me a multi-course traditional Japanese banquet-meal that was to die for.

But you didn’t. And wouldn’t. Would you?
If you died for it, how would you eat it?

I think I've already done that.

barliman2001

@BigDub Wearing a uniform for a flight upgrade is easy. But flying internationally with just a target shooting club membership card as ID - that's tough.
Did it. In the old days, on a flight from Dublin to London Heathrow. As neither the UK nor Ireland had any compulsory form of ID, they accepted anything with your pic in it. They did not notice that that club membership card was nine years out of date!
(And no, it was AFTER 9/11).

Dr GO

Dr GO

barliman2001

@Dr-GO
Old chestnut... Two guys are carrying a grand piano up a skyscraper - the lift was too small. Finally, on the 29th floor, one guy says to the other, "I've got good and bad news for you." - "What's the good?" - "We're on the correct floor." - "And the bad?" - "We're in the wrong house."

barliman2001

Warning! Not PC!

The UN recently did a survey, asking "What in your honest opinion can be done about the lack of food in the rest of the world?"
The answers showed slight problems with vocabulary: Americans did not know "the rest of the world", Africans did not know "food", Germans did not know "lack", Italians did not know "honest", and Russians did not know "opinion".

barliman2001

"Your fiancé has a terrible stutter, Rosie!"- "No matter. As soon as we're married, he won't have anything to say at all."

barliman2001

"Yesterday, I really told off my wife." - "Really? And what did you get out of it?" - "Six with the rolling pin."

barliman2001

Many more husbands would run away, if only they knew how to pack...

barliman2001

This post is deleted!

barliman2001

Doctor: "Your cough sounds much better now."
Patient: "Well, I'm practising enough day and night."

barliman2001

What does an out-of work philosopher say to a working philosopher?

"One burger with fries, please."

barliman2001

"Did you ever sleep with other men?" - "No darling, I only ever slept with you. I was awake with all the others."

barliman2001

What's the nickname of the Clinton Presidency?
Sex between the Bushes.

Dr GO

Dr GO

J. Jericho

Dr GO

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

Ooooh that stings!