Posts made by SSmith1226

@Dr-GO said in pet peeves:

@SSmith1226 said in pet peeves:

I will ruminate over that.

For that, you get my udder respect.

That is very kind of you. Your words make me feel like I am teetering on the verge of something big.

@BigDub said in pet peeves:

@SSmith1226 said in pet peeves:

@J-Jericho said in pet peeves:

Using the term "gut" instead of "intestines".

I have a gut feeling that you might not like chitterlings, “chitlins”, innards, entrails, or viscera either.

Don't get tripe about it

I will ruminate over that.

@J-Jericho said in pet peeves:

Using the term "gut" instead of "intestines".

I have a gut feeling that you might not like chitterlings, “chitlins”, innards, entrails, or viscera either.

This also might be effective in increasing range:

Here are a few that I read today:

My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.

A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.

When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"

Riddle of the Day
Here's the situation:

You're on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.

On your right side is a sharp drop-off.

On your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo, and your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo.

What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?

See answer below

Get off the merry-go-round and go home!

You've had enough excitement for one day.

I apologize in advance if this post should have been placed under “Pedagogy”, perhaps under “James Stamp” or “Medical Concerns” subcategory “Hernias”. I was going through some files I had saved 2 years ago and found this one. I don’t recall where it came from. It could have been from TM or some other site. Never the less, I thought that the lessons that could be learned were so worthwhile that it should be resurrected in spite of the hernia risk.

Butch,
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry for the added aggravation you are experiencing caused by the bickering that the death of a beloved by all, parent, can bring out among siblings. I have seen this over and over again in situations many of my friends and other family members have experienced. I have to say that I was fortunate that I didn’t experience this situation with the loss of my parents. I don’t know the entirety of your situation, but in general, the feeling of entitlement and greed brings out the worst in some people in these circumstances . These circumstances should unite families in this time of need rather then tear them apart. I have seen brothers and sisters that will no longer communicate or acknowledge one another after the death of their parents. I have seen other situations where time has healed the initial rifts associated with the death of parents. I hope that your situation falls into the latter pattern. If nothing else, this bickering among family members can be used as an example you can present to your own children as to what trap not to fall into when they are inevitably presented with a similar circumstance. I have had this discussion with my children and hopefully when the time comes, they will support one another rather than bicker with one another.

@moshe said in Hello nursing home, Goodbye cornet:

I went straight from hospital to nursing home 3 weeks ago.

So no more playing any instruments.

Oy...
Moshe,
I’m very sorry that you have these health problems and hope that you can improve with time and therapy. If you are physically able to play your cornet, and want to play, why not do so. As was mentioned, most nursing homes have a common area, and most of these have pianos or key boards. There are bound to be other patients, staff, or visiting families, with musical skills who would find it as a fun activity, or even therapeutic, to join you, and then have other patients join in song. Alternatively for practice purposes, a practice mute would allow you to play without disturbing anyone else. If you are going to be living in the nursing home long term, as opposed to short term rehabilitation, and you don’t have a practice mute, email me ( ssmith1226@aol.com ) with your name and the address of the nursing home, and I will send you one.
Lastly, if you feel that there will be problems doing the above, talk to the facility social worker about: 1) the possibility of, if you can ride in a car or van, providing transportation too and from local Community Band rehearsals, and 2) pointing out that Music Therapy is a recognized treatment modality and specialty that can be beneficial not only to you, but many other patients in the nursing home. If you don’t have a Music Therapist at your facility, and you do have a Recreational Therapist, or even Physical or Occupational Therapists, talk to them to see whether they can incorporate music in their programs. Another thought would be, in your conversation with the social worker, suggest that perhaps a volunteer program using local college or high school students, could be set up to start a music program in your facility.
I hope that this helps. Get well soon!

@Voltrane

From the web site: https://www.onfoot.org/
A couple of the melodies are written on this site as is a sound cloud recording.

Trumpet City
Trumpet City is a 60 minute live-installation of 18 or more trumpets performing outdoors in a public space.

The work is made up of four 15-minute sections, which may flow one into the next. Each section contains a single melody made up of long tones perforated by silence. The melody starts in the low range of the trumpet, blending with the drone of traffic noise common to many cities. Over the course of the hour, the trumpets rise out of this drone.
Each performer reads from the same part, playing it at his or her own individual tempo. Parallel to these melodies, each trumpet also places loud, short calls throughout the hour.First melody from Trumpet City:

The range within which a single trumpet can be heard is about 200 meters, depending on the acoustic properties of the site. The performers are positioned about 50 meters apart, and each player can hear about eight other trumpets-four on each side. This creates an interlocking chain of nine-trumpet "chamber ensembles". In this way, each player is at the same time (1) a soloist, (2) a part of this chamber ensemble, and (3) part of the total sound of the piece.

Any given passerby hears the trumpet closest to him or her, the polyphony of the chamber ensemble as well as the hum of the combined sound. As the pitch level rises, the ensemble becomes louder, and the combined total sound becomes more present. The piece starts when one player at the end of the line begins to play. The next player starts when he can hear the first player.

Sent from my iPhone

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world,
I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the mailman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops, and lives 15 years,
A tortoise doesn't run or do anything, yet it lives for 150 years.
And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. If all is not lost, then where is it?

6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.

7. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

11. It is hard to make a comeback; when you haven't been anywhere.

12. The world only beats a path to your door; when you're in the bathroom.

13. If God wanted me to touch my toes; he'd have put them on my knees.

14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards; everyone wants to play chess.

15. It is not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
    I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.

20. Have I posted this message on Trumpet Bosrds before: or did I get it from here?

The following is not meant to start any political discussions. The analogy applies to government under all leadership as well as huge corporations etc which are too large to manage efficiently:
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.

The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."

The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."

So the king continued on his way.

However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.

Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."

So the king hired the donkey.

And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

@administrator said in A little humour:

I don't know I just think that giving the response of "I'm feeling suicidal today," to the cashier's question "How are you?" Just doesn't seem quite right.

Yeah... "I'm feeling homicidal." works better. It gives the cashier more to think about.

You don’t want the clerk to overthink this. Here is what can happen:

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

@J-Jericho
This isn’t as funny

Here is the story: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/may/05/microwave-oven-caused-mystery-signal-plaguing-radio-telescope-for-17-years

What isn't funny about the is it took SCIENTISTS 17 years to figure this out!

Exactly why it was humorous!!!

@J-Jericho
This isn’t as funny as the Liberty Bell routine but it is a legitimate news story that I read today and thought it would be humorous. I was fact checking an email listing humorous headlines. One of them was this:
“Signals that baffled astronomers for 17 years traced to observatory’s microwave oven”

Here is the story: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/may/05/microwave-oven-caused-mystery-signal-plaguing-radio-telescope-for-17-years

@J-Jericho said in A little humour:

Heard this one on the radio today:

Unfortunately it reminded me of a band concert I played in this past Sunday at a nursing home to help celebrate Mother’s Day, but that’s another story.

In another vein, I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine and asked what he was working on these days.

He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

@BigDub
If you liked that one, try this one:

A friend of mine went to the local zoo. He reported back that all they had there was one dog and no other animals
He said it was a Shih Tzu

It’s been quiet so here it goes:
An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and German were watching a street magician. The magician realized that they couldn’t see him well so he stepped up on a high box. The magician said, “Can you see me now?”
They answered,
Yes
Oui
Si
Ja

“45 year old antique”!!! What the heck am I at 70?
On a more serious note, I’m going down to my local Ace Hardware and get me some Rustoleum and duct tape so I can restore my Mt. Vernon Bach to its original condition. As you know, “Ace is the place with the helpful hardware man.”