Best posts made by SSmith1226

A Greek and a Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.

Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Pantheon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

“Well, it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

“Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces.”

Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

“True enough said the Irishman, but it was the Irish who got women involved.”

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks: “What will it be?”
The man replies: “A burger and a coke.”
“And you?”
“I’ll have the same,” the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay.
“That will be $4.50,” the waitress says. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount. They continue this every day for a week. On the last day the two come in once more.
“The usual?” the waitress asks.
“No, today is Friday. I’ll have steak and a coke.”

“Me too,” says the ostrich. They finish and pay.
“That will be $10.95.”
The man reaches in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.
The waitress is dumb-founded. “How is it that you always have the exact amount?”

“Well,” says the man. “I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared. I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my pocket.”
“Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what’s with the ostrich?”
“Well,” said the man. “I also asked for a chick with long legs.”

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man: “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient.
“Sir,” the usher said. “If you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. A few moments later, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked: “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“ Sam,” the man moaned.
“Where ya from, Sam?” the cop asked.
And with pain in his voice, Sam replied: “The balcony.”

@Vulgano-Brother

@J-Jericho
@barliman2001
Oops! They did it again!!!

Famed pianist sees her favourite piano smashed to pieces:

https://slippedisc.com/2020/02/horror-famed-pianist-sees-her-favourite-piano-smashed-to-pieces/

@Dr-GO said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:

This one has requested a reservation in your ER

@Kehaulani said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:

I spent a lifetime, one night, in the keys!

41 years of my lifetime has been in the Keys.

@BigDub said in Artist on BOARD:

They kind of look like ghost ships for some reason.......not intentional
This is more like it

More Ghost Ships! No Crew!!!
Who are you going to call?

@J-Jericho
That was the funniest post I’ve seen in weeks!

@Kehaulani said in How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?:

That's funny. I ran across a Chinese restaurant in Salzburg named the Fu King. We had a lot of fun coming up with advertising variations on that name.

BTW, that was around the corner from Schmuck Allee.

Also in Lake City, FL

I can’t take it no more.

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when all of a sudden a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

“Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really rich.”
Instantly, her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

“And, gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.”

She turns into a beautiful young woman.

“Your third wish?” asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman’s cat wanders across the porch in front of them.
“Ooh… Can you change him into a handsome prince?” she asks.

And suddenly there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: “Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered.”

Lockdown With Essential Services Only

I’m originally from Mt. Vernon, NY, the home of the Mt. Vernon Bach Stradivarius. I left New York in 1974 and never expected to find a song about Mt. Vernon. I was wrong. This song came out years after I left, but the video was filmed at many locations I knew during the 26 years that I lived there. Music and life were different then.

This concept could open up community band rehearsals. The only addition would have to be a Crown Royal nag or similar device on the bell of the instrument to filter any droplets.

@Brian-Moon said in A little humour:

@SSmith1226

What proof do you have that rocks are a certain age?
Evolutionists have been taking their own assumptions as truth and building "evidence" with them for a long time.

The New York Times lies consistently. You can't trust it.

Brian,
The exact answer is above my pay grade. I would assume that the level or rock had material mixed with it that could be carbon dated, or else mixed in with other fossils that could be dated. Also the evidence for these ancient jellyfish was found in Utah. I am not an expert in archeology, paleontology, and geology, so I won’t take it beyond the following, but I can say that it has been a few years since the ocean covered Utah. I was just trying to help, because I was curious as well.

@Rapier232 said in Turning Guns into Trumpets:

What happens when a kid turns up with a gun, just takes all the trumpets and keeps the gun?

Or worse....I understand your concern. I also can see that Shamarr Allen is deeply invested in trying to improve his community. After all, he has young children, and the stabbing and shooting children and adults in New Orleans on a daily basis has been commonplace for many decades. I lived in New Orleans from 1974-1979. During those years I was responsible, along with many others, for providing Surgical care to the victims who were funneled into New Orlean’s Major Trauma Center, Charity Hospital of New Orleans, whether they were New Orleans Police Officers, the equivalent of gangbangers, innocent victims of crime, or innocent bystanders who were collateral damage. During my five years, I, alone probably saw anywhere from 2-10 stab and gunshot wound victims per day who made it to the hospital alive. I worked seven days a week and was allowed seven vacation days per year. My exposure to this problem was enormous.
My understanding is that gun violence has not improved in New Orleans even up to the current time. There is very little value put on human life by perpetrators and criminals within the high crime districts of New Orleans. Just consider The fate of 9 year old Devonte Bryant who was purposely shot at close range in the back of his head. Most of the gun violence was, and still is, aimed at the members of the community. Tourists were considered fair game as well. If you live in one of these areas, as Shamarr Allen does, your options include, live with the situation the best you can, move elsewhere if you are able to, or do what you can to fix it from within. In his own way, Shamarr Allen, within his sphere of influence is trying to fix what he can from within. What he is doing is very admirable. By getting even a few illegal guns out of the hands of minors, redirecting their interests, and expanding their talents , he could very well be preventing the juveniles he is interacting with from living a life of crime, preventing serious injuries, and saving lives. I hope that his endeavors are successful and he does not get hurt trying to help others. Who would have ever thought that a trumpet could save lives!
By the way, to give you an idea of the severity of the circumstance that I am referring to, read the following account of the shooting death of 9 year Devante Bryant, that led to Shamarr Allen’s epiphany. Keep in mind that two other children were shot in the same non random incident and other children were shot at. Also in the story, the circumstances surrounding Devante Bryant’s family are very informative relative to my points above.

https://www.nola.com/news/crime_police/article_5f48b042-cce8-11ea-97c6-97ed082eda8c.html