The blonde was talking on the phone with the home improvement store, and here is her end of the conversation:
Yes. Of course. Sure. Absolutely, very happy with the windows. Wait, what? You have to be kidding!
Absolutely not. Go ahead, take me to court, I'm not paying a cent! You said these windows would pay for themselves in five years, so in a little more than four years we should be all squared away.
Good bye.
When I was still working, one of my friends was the maintenance person for the same store I worked in.
A woman in one of the departments was never comfortable with the temperature. It was either too hot or too cold. She constantly demanded, pleaded with my friend to do something about it......every day. At least.
One day, he decided to surprise her and showed her that he had installed her own thermostat, right there on the column near her work area. See, he said, turn it this way and it will get warmer, and this way, to the left, it will get cooler, just like that!
She never, ever, complained again.
End of story.
Not so fast, there. He, my friend, never wired it to anything...and when she retired, he gave her the thermostat in a box with a bow on it. Here. Now you can be comfortable wherever you go, he said.
@Dr-Mark said in A little humour:
Hi Tobylou8,
Something a lot of people don't realize;
You don't need a parachute to skydive.
You need a parachute to skydive twice!
And, furthermore, people can survive a fall from many thousands of feet. It’s the sudden stop at the end that seems to be the problem.
OK, everyone- it's time for another one. This one was done as a wedding gift for a nephew and this is what they wanted.
@tjcombo said in A little humour:
@SSmith1226
I thought the Google translation was flawless
Precisely
Also. That is proof of how bad Google translate can be at its worst.
I use it, but find myself very disappointed most of the time.
For Spanish, I usually make changes afterward to make it more conversational. You can’t use English grammar and sentence structure when translating from other languages which do not use English grammar rules.
@Dr-Mark said in Artist on BOARD:
@BigDub
Unfortunately, when it comes to painting (unless its a wall) my lightbulb is burned out
Maybe. But you're a Dr, Dr Mark. Remember that.
@tjcombo said in A little humour:
@administrator "humour' is something that amuses me - like American spelling
Yeah, we’re like that.
@Dr-Mark said in Artist on BOARD:
Hi BigDub,
How a person can take a flat surface and with some paint, create a scene that reminds me of up north is beyond me. When I try something like this, it ends up looking like a Jackson Pollock after a 5th of scotch. In short, a painting not fit for human consumption. I don't know if it's the lack of a steady hand, keen eye or patience that is the issue. Knowing my luck, it's probably a mix of all three.
Jackson Pollock was fortunate to travel in the right crowd, in the right place, at the right time. If not he would have had to fold up his drop cloth and go back to painting houses!
As for how a person can do what you said, I would have to say, it is a very long process with plenty of setbacks along the way. My desire it to get better. Every new painting I start. I know what I want to make better. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to accomplish that. I look at many other artist's work and ask myself the same questions- how do they get that to look like that? And what do I need to do to make that look like I imagine it looking in my mind? Sometimes, maybe many times, the lightbulb lights up and I get an aha! moment and I will try what I think might work and it does.
@Dr-Mark said in Set lists:
Hi Dr-GO
..."If you play a wrong note or passage, do it twice. That way the audience will think it was intentional and you were just being
avant-garde"That's EXACTLY what I do! That's EXACTLY what I do!
And then you write it twice, too, also.
@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?...No eye deer!
Me neither.
What do you get when you cross a Rhinoceros and an Elephant?
Elefino.
Is Lawler still making horns? I thought he used Getzen valve blocks, whether or not he is still making horns.
A recent commission for a fellow band member. The painting is of the carriage house from 1832 of a historic home in PA. The owners of the home cannot paint it any color they want but must adhere to the historic requirements and guidelines. The town they live in is the named after the builder of the house, as well as originator of the town.
Just came back from a gig. No set list. We exclusively took requests from the audience. Heck half of the songs we didn't even have the music. The gig went fabulously well.
ooooh. That would be a tremendous step up for our group....a bigger step than our legs can reach. At least we can manage sight reading a piece we have never done.....we do a pretty good job sight reading.
@Richard-III said in Set lists:
All the drummers I know wouldn't have any use for sheet music anyway. Why? None of them can read it. Of course the drummers I've used had another problem. They couldn't keep time. Seriously. After the last one, we just gave up having a drummer. Life is so much better. Same story with guitar players.
This drummer is super. He stays on tempo, very skilled at all the components. He is also a member of the Philadelphia Eagles Drum Line. As a NY Giant fan, I do not hold that against him and I am his biggest fan.....in spite of his misguided allegiances! 
Speaking of too much music, we had a gig last night, which went very well with no set list issues (LOL)
The opposite of too much music happened, however. Our drummer's music never got there, he wasn’t responsible for it. He did an amazing job of ad libbing the whole night.
No one was the wiser. He would ask us how the intro went and a little about the song and go from there!
@Dr-Mark said in Artist on BOARD:
@BigDub
My favorite artist is Picasso because sometimes my underwear bunches.
Oh no you didn’t go there! 
@Dr-GO said in Artist on BOARD:
I personally don't paint by numbers. I use braille. Interesting thing is the finished version has a lot of texture to it.
As long as you don’t do surgery that way
