An Austrian comic paper today had recommendations for the gourmet in the times of Coronavirus... "Ten recipes for pasta with toilet paper". Things like "Boil pasta, rinse and dry. Mix in half-square inch bits of toilet paper, and sprinkle with hand sanitizer."
Best posts made by barliman2001
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RE: How about a "Random Meaningless Image...let's see them string"?
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RE: Brass Quintet Direction
@Vulgano-Brother When I was still playing in a brass quintet - can't seem to get one together these days - we had an external musical director who not only supervised our rehearsing, but wrote original music for us as well. Worked perfectly and brought a bunch of rank amateurs (as we then were) into all the big local concert halls... even though some of the original music was distinctly weird: "Variations on Greensleeves", with every variation representing a different period of music history: va. 1 a Bach fugue, var. 2 a Mozart minuet, var. 3 Beethovenesque, var. 4 Bruckner, var. 5 a military march, var. 6 Wagnerian, var. 7 being dodecaphonic...
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RE: A little humour
@Niner An American, a Japanese and an Austrian are sitting together in a bar. Suddenly, there is a ring, the American spreads his fingers and begins talking. Finishing, he explains: "New American mobile phone technology. The phone is integrated into thumb and pinkie." Some time later, there is another ring and the Japanese begins talking rapidly. Afterwards, he explains: "Revorutionary Japanese technorogy. Mobire phone buirt into teeth." Some time later, there is a terrible smell. Quietly, the Austrian says, "I think I'm getting a fax..."
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RE: Fantasia on a Hymn by Praetorius
Michael Praetorius was a 16th century composer, one of the first to really incorporate brass music into the Church, and one of the most important not to take up old melodies, but provide new melodies for later composers and arrangers...
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RE: A little humour
When I'd paid for my new, rather expensive wallet, I did not need it anymore...
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RE: Christmas Services
@GeorgeB said in Christmas Services:
@barliman2001
Now that was one really interesting situation. Playing in the cold is definitely no fun. But I'm sure you did well, sir.As to playing in the cold - one Austrian oompah band a few years back bought several score of hand warmers (working with burning coal sticks inside) to zip tie to the valve blocks of instruments to avoid freezing (which is liable to happen at below zero temperatures). On one occasion, before a Christmas market gig, these hand warmers were lit and issued. Most of the guys directly zip tied them to the instruments and just carried the unwrapped instruments to the gig ( a few hundred yards down the road). One of the flugel players did not yet bother to fumble with the zip ties but just tossed the hand warmer into his gig bag. Half-way down to the gig, his bag was giving off smoke signals... the hand warmer had come undone and spilt the burningcoal inside, setting the lining on fire... when the guy investigated and opened up the bag, he was welcomed by a raging flame. The local fire brigade had a busy fifteen minutes putting the blazing bag out, and the insurance later refused to pay for the burnt-up flugel (an almost new gold-plated Votruba Professional worth around € 5,000) due to "culpable negligence".
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RE: A little humour
"Doctor, I always imagine that I'm a dog." - "Okay, we can tackle that. Will you please lie down on the sofa?" - "I'm not allowed on the sofa..."
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RE: That's all?
Actually, it is customary not to mention the orchestral excerpts because the will be announced at short notice without any preparation time whatsoever. They are still an integral part of the audition process. In addition, the audition process at German orchestras usually is a multi-stage one, with only the requirements for the first stage being publicised. As the audition for a solo viola player showed... the orchestra were quite pleased at what the candidate presented, but, having been burnt before, they asked the candidate to play the fast demisemiquaver passage from "the Bartered Bride". And the viola candidate readily agreed, saying, "well, yes, if you've got enough time for that..."
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RE: A little humour
Warning! Not PC!
The UN recently did a survey, asking "What in your honest opinion can be done about the lack of food in the rest of the world?"
The answers showed slight problems with vocabulary: Americans did not know "the rest of the world", Africans did not know "food", Germans did not know "lack", Italians did not know "honest", and Russians did not know "opinion". -
RE: Wonder which Valve Oil they use.
@administrator said in Wonder which Valve Oil they use.:
I'm curious about a few things.
- How do we know they played with no vibrato in the Baroque era? I mean, we don't have recordings.
- How do we know they ballooned their notes like they are doing in the video?
You are right, there are no recordings. But people wrote instead and closely described what was to be done. Almost every other musician of any note produced tutorials for his students: Friedrich Wilhelm Reiche, for example, could not just say, "Go and get yourself an Arban copy". For one, Arban would not be born for a couple of centuries; and for the second, printed books were still rare and expensive. So people like J.S. Bach produced things like the "Piano Book for Anna Magdalena Bach" which in their original version not only contained music, but lots of additional advice, thus showing us the way the composer wanted the pieces to be played.
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RE: A little humour
How do you know a drummer is at the door? -
The cat flap opens at 2 and 4. -
RE: You know "those moments"?
@seth-of-lagos Mravinsky certainly let the brass do their thing , as you said, "on the ragged edge"; but that ragged edge was most probably sharpened by the instruments they had at their disposal... look at the year the recording was made: 1953. Stalin was probably still alive during much of the recording process, the Cold War was in full swing, trade relations between East and West were almost inexistent and "the Leningrad Factory" - one of only three places in the Soviet Union where brass instruments were made - still lay in ruins, only being rebuilt and back into business some years later. They probably had to do their best on - if lucky - very old instruments, or - if not - on some student grade horns slapped together somehow; and it is known that some of these musicians were reduced to building their own horns out of any materials they could find. One tuba is known to have had engine springs from a military truck as valve springs, being made out of the brass of spent shell casings...
As the joke went...
What is the difference between a Capitalist and a Socialist violin player? -
The Capitalist has an old violin and a new car, withn the Socialist it is the other way round. -
RE: Memorable Quotations
"Trumpet playing is singing, just without a sore throat."
Maurice André -
RE: Trumpet playing Christmas marathon is over!
For me, this Christmas season started with four Christmas market gigs and will continue with five more of the same, but that is almost nothing compared to other years where sometimes I had to play Christmas Oratorio three times in a row... this year is centred around my wife's debut at Graz Opera (she sang almost everywhere else, but never before in Graz) in the small but important role of Mrs. Kramer in Kurt Weill's biggest Broadway success, A Touch of Venus - played many thousans of times in the US, but never before in Austria... Another 12 performances to go...
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RE: A little humour
A Scotsman phones a dentist's surgery. "Eh, mon, what's the cost o' drawin' a tuith?" - "That would be fifty pounds, sir." - "Canna I get it a wee bit cheaper?" - "Certainly, sir. 25 pounds, but that is with only initial anesthesia and limited equipment." - Canne ye make it even cheaper?" - "Well, yes, sir, we can do it for ten pounds, but that is without any anesthesia and just using a plain set of blacksmith's pincers. Very painful process." - "Can ye make an appointment for Thursday for ma mither-in-law?"
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RE: HELP! Need transposed parts!
As ROWUK had the right stuff at hand, the matter is now resolved. Thank you for all the offers of help - it shows that TB is the best trumpet forum ever!
And that means that I will be turning the key in the lock...
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RE: Vinzenz Schrottenbach
No. That was an unsigned autograph card for an already established soloist.
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RE: Another Christmas gig is in the books
The only thing I did at Christmas was to tag round the rehab clinic with the local ruffians (officially "students of logopaedia nd music therapy")... a four-part choir that managed to sing at least nine parts in three different keys, two guitars that had not been tuned to each other, a mouth organ and five recorders... I am really ashamed to have been seen with those...
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RE: A little humour
A trombone player has just moved into a new home, and has invited a friend for a first viewing. The friend is duly impressed; but late in the evening, he has one question: "I don't seem to see a single clock anywhere... how do you tell the time?" - "That's simple" replies the bonist, grabs his horn and starts practising. Within a few seconds, the neighbour's window flies open: "That's monstrous! Such a noise at midnight!"
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RE: Laughter is the Best Medicine
Bass player at the psychologist:
"Doc, no one pays any attention to me..."
Doc: "Next, please!"