Best posts made by barliman2001

@kehaulani I have a dog that needs two one-mile walks per day. That helps too.

@SSmith1226

A reporter is doing an item about the longevity of inmates in a home. The first guy he meets looks like sixty, but exclaims, proudly, "Young man, last week I had my eighty-fifth birthday!" - "And how did you do it, sir?" - "No alcohol my whole life, no tobacco, and only had one little flirtation with a girl." Impressed, the reporter accosts another inmate who looks slightly older than the first: "And you, sir?" - "Don't waste your time with that riotous youngster! I'm ninety-nine. No alcohol, only vegan food, no tobacco, and no women at all. And just look at me!" - "Congratulations, sir," says the reporter and approaches a most decrepit-looking senior in the lounge. "And you, sir, did you use the same recipe as your neighbours ?" - "Me? No fear! I drank whatever there was to drink, I smoked heavily, and no girl was safe from me. And I had lovely steaks with chips, and won every eating contest on the calendar..." - "Oh really, sir? And may I ask your age?" - "Me? I'm twenty-nine and the ward nurse!"

@dr-go ... and as the discussion seems to have maneuvered itself into no-man's-land (if not a dead end) and threatens to slip - again - into the murk of speculation and worse, I am finally locking this thread.

The Scottish recipe for tomato soup?

Hot water in a red bowl.

@Rapier232 said in Mute Musings:

Mutes, the bane of my life. Most of my playing is in theatre pit bands. I’ve probably spent more money on mutes for shows than I’ve been paid. Hat mute, Cleartone, metal and fibre straight mutes, metal and fibre cups, plunger, felt mute, even an extra Harmon because there wasn’t enough time to remove and replace stem between use. Sometimes I feel more like a juggler than a trumpet player. Why those that write scores don’t understand the player’s time requirements is a mystery. The puzzled face of an MD when you ask "Do you want this passage with a cup, or straight? Because you can’t have both. I physically cannot change mutes on a quaver rest".

Many of these parts were originally written for two players. One to play the straight, and the other to continue with the cup. Unfortunately, modern orchestras don't work that way.

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@Vulgano-Brother said in A little humour:

I am a great Bible expert and even know the name of Noah's wife. It was Joan. Joan of Arc.

And I am sure you are celebrating this insight at the Arc of Triumph. And that's OK as there are many treatments we have for people exposed to Paris-sights.

À propos Paris:
A Japanese company director was very much looking forward to a business trip to Paris with some spare time to... well, see the sights. One day, he quarrelled with his CEO. A few days later, his colleagues saw him come out of the CEO's office rather dejectedly. "What's the matter?" they asked. "Did he cancel the trip?" - "That bastard? No. He doubled the travel allowance so that I should be able to take my wife."

I always carry two bags - my gig bag, usually filled with my Buescher Aristocrat cornet, the Olds Studio and my Courtois 154R flugel and my "all else" bag with the following emergency kit: valve oil, cleaning rod, cork and slide grease, small can of WD-40, small multitool, sewing kit, spare reading glasses, music pegs, music light, spare batteries; 3-peg Hercules stand; mute holder; music stand (the big gale-safe foldable K&M). And of course the basic mute set:
H&B Symphonic Straight
DW Straight
H&B Cup
Jo-Ral cup with two different felt inlays
H&B rubber plunger
H&B Wah-wah
H&B Bucket
H&B Derby
D&W practice mute

Ok, there have been enough misunderstandings in this thread now. I think we all now know what happened, and most of us would agree that inconsiderate behaviour in a band is not helpful, whosoever might be the perpetrator, and that some band directors are stricter than others regarding this issue.
With this statement, I am closing the thread. Thank you.

I'm overjoyed to announce that yesterday, Kinneil Band were crowned First Section Champions in the British Nationals, as the first Scottish band ever to achieve this! That's a blaze of glory for you!

Electronic name for a leader of the orchestra: Semiconductor.

@GeorgeB said in Having to play in too many sharps?:

@Trumpetsplus said in Having to play in too many sharps?:

@GeorgeB QED

Sorry, Ivan, my ignorance is probably going to show here: What Is QED?

Originally, it's Latin and the abbreviation for Quod Erat Demonstrandum, meaning, "what was intended to be demonstrated". The abbreviation was first used in mathematics.

Two Scotsmen are having a posh meal in an expensive restaurant. At the end of the meal, one of them is heard calling for the bill for both of them.
The newspaper headline next day?

VENTRILOQUIST FOUND MURDERED

Just listen, and comment...
Same concert, with top performers of their times...
first, Adolf Scherbaum, with one of the first piccolo trumpets, 1961

Maurice André, 1966

Then, 1970, with Pierre Thibaud, with an early Selmer picc,

Maurice André, 1979

Maurice André, 1989
Youtube Video

Reinhold Friedrich, 2007

Friedemann Immer, 2000
Youtube Video

And the crystal meth version, with John Eliot Gardiner and Neil Brough

Finally, the hardcore version, without any valves or holes or helps whatsoever...

An Austrian comic paper today had recommendations for the gourmet in the times of Coronavirus... "Ten recipes for pasta with toilet paper". Things like "Boil pasta, rinse and dry. Mix in half-square inch bits of toilet paper, and sprinkle with hand sanitizer."

@newell-post He's probably poisoning pigeons in the park...

@Niner An American, a Japanese and an Austrian are sitting together in a bar. Suddenly, there is a ring, the American spreads his fingers and begins talking. Finishing, he explains: "New American mobile phone technology. The phone is integrated into thumb and pinkie." Some time later, there is another ring and the Japanese begins talking rapidly. Afterwards, he explains: "Revorutionary Japanese technorogy. Mobire phone buirt into teeth." Some time later, there is a terrible smell. Quietly, the Austrian says, "I think I'm getting a fax..."

At the moment, I'm listening to a continuous stream of a number of arias and lieder, every day, live... my wife is having a solo recital on 9 February...

When I'd paid for my new, rather expensive wallet, I did not need it anymore...

Twenty years later, in a preview for a new Vienna musical...

and in between...

Currently to be heard and seen in Kurt Weill's A Touch of Venus in Opera Graz

"Doctor, I always imagine that I'm a dog." - "Okay, we can tackle that. Will you please lie down on the sofa?" - "I'm not allowed on the sofa..."