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    A little humour

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    • ?
      A Former User @Dr GO last edited by

      Hi Dr-GO,
      A pecker of a patient would be a patient who is compelled to peck. Would that be a common symptom of an aviary flu and would purchasing a Harrelson be a possible cure?

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • SSmith1226
        SSmith1226 last edited by

        CD124916-7074-426D-9729-D8A8A972565F.jpeg

        Steve Smith

        ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • ?
          A Former User @SSmith1226 last edited by

          @SSmith1226
          Knock Knock.
          Who's There?
          Annie.
          Annie Who?
          Annie Thing You Can Do I Can Do Better

          SSmith1226 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • SSmith1226
            SSmith1226 @Guest last edited by

            @Dr-Mark said in A little humour:

            @SSmith1226
            Knock Knock.
            Who's There?
            Annie.
            Annie Who?
            Annie Thing You Can Do I Can Do Better

            Knock, knock!
            Who's there?
            Annie.
            Annie who?
            Annie more of these?

            Steve Smith

            ? SSmith1226 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • ?
              A Former User @SSmith1226 last edited by

              @SSmith1226
              Knock, Knock
              Who's There?
              I Eat Mop
              I Eat Mop Who?
              That's Disgusting!

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • SSmith1226
                SSmith1226 @SSmith1226 last edited by

                @SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

                @Dr-Mark said in A little humour:

                @SSmith1226
                Knock Knock.
                Who's There?
                Annie.
                Annie Who?
                Annie Thing You Can Do I Can Do Better

                Knock, knock!
                Who's there?
                Annie.
                Annie who?
                Annie more of these?

                Little orphan Annie grew up in the Great Depression. She was so poor that she had to sell her pupils for money to live on.

                45E1E539-04A5-4A98-A9D8-FCB2244AAD60.jpeg DA49317F-69C2-4C2E-A86D-114E18246F62.jpeg

                Steve Smith

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • SSmith1226
                  SSmith1226 @Guest last edited by SSmith1226

                  @Dr-Mark said in A little humour:

                  @SSmith1226
                  Knock Knock.
                  Who's There?
                  Annie.
                  Annie Who?
                  Annie Thing You Can Do I Can Do Better

                  Now, that is condescending! 😀😀😀

                  84B11303-9897-4996-BE87-0B4FB3CED661.jpeg

                  Steve Smith

                  Kujo20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • BigDub
                    BigDub last edited by BigDub

                    I try not to be condescending. That’s when you assume the person to whom you’re speaking needs help understanding the very intelligent things you are saying.

                    Now, I heard that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick. It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell. She explained, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."

                    That means...........well, if you don’t get it........never mind.....

                    GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                    Assorted other mp's not used
                    ( not very unusual….right? )

                    SSmith1226 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                    • SSmith1226
                      SSmith1226 @BigDub last edited by SSmith1226

                      @BigDub said in A little humour:

                      I try not to be condescending. That’s when you assume the person to whom you’re speaking needs help understanding the very intelligent things you are saying.

                      Now, I heard that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick. It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell. She explained, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."

                      That means...........well, if you don’t get it........never mind.....

                      Someone said to me I was being too patronising, so I said 'I'm not being patronising, I'm being condescending. In case you are having trouble figuring this out:

                      C8B295CB-49D1-4727-9E02-546A5B86DC55.jpeg

                      I hope this helps.

                      Steve Smith

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • Kujo20
                        Kujo20 @SSmith1226 last edited by

                        @SSmith1226 said in A little humour:

                        @Dr-Mark said in A little humour:

                        @SSmith1226
                        Knock Knock.
                        Who's There?
                        Annie.
                        Annie Who?
                        Annie Thing You Can Do I Can Do Better

                        Now, that is condescending! 😀😀😀

                        84B11303-9897-4996-BE87-0B4FB3CED661.jpeg

                        Not to be confused with dropping a 12A cornet down a flight of stairs.

                        Kujo
                        1916 Holton Revelation Cornet
                        2016 Schlub Brass Works “Damar” 4V Flugelhorn
                        Martin 9 mouthpiece
                        Al Cass prototype flugel mouthpiece

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                        • barliman2001
                          barliman2001 Global Moderator last edited by

                          As regards "Knock knock..."
                          An old lady had a parrot and a TV. One day, the TV broke down, so the old lady called an engineer to repair the TV. However, shortly before the engineer came, the old lady had forgotten the appointment and went out shopping, leaving the parrot in charge.
                          A very few minutes later, the TV engineer rang the bell. From inside, he heard a voice calling, "Who's there?"
                          He replied, "The TV engineer."
                          Again, a voice from within, "Who's there?"
                          Slightly exasperated, the caller replied, "The TV engineer..." -
                          "Who's there?" - "THE TV ENGINEER!!" - "Who's there?" - Yelling at the top of his voice, "THE TV ENGINEER!!" - "Who's there?" (engineer has a heart attack and faints in front of the door)
                          A few minutes later, the old lady returns, sees the unconscious man in her front garden and exclaims, "Who's that?" - "The TV engineer, the TV engineer..."

                          Courtois Balanced
                          Courtois D
                          Olds Recording
                          Buescher Aristocrat
                          Gaudet C
                          Selmer G
                          Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
                          Besson International Bb cornet
                          Courtois Bb cornet
                          B&H Sovereign Soprano Cornet
                          B&H Sovereign trombone
                          Willy Garreis trombone
                          Weltklang Euph

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • ?
                            A Former User last edited by A Former User

                            Speaking of old ladies.

                            atm.jpg

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • Newell Post
                              Newell Post last edited by

                              Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?

                              A: One got burned by coke and the other got burned by Pepsi.

                              Bb: Bach 180S37G (05), Mercedes (80)
                              Vintage: Committee (54), Recording (59), Super (49), Getzen Severinsen (66)
                              C: Kanstul 1510, Constellation
                              D/Eb: Getzen Eterna
                              Cornet: Schilke XA1, Yamaha Neo Eb
                              Flugel: Kanstul 1525, Yamaha 625
                              Conch shell in F

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • ?
                                A Former User last edited by

                                Some things to think about when drinking :

                                Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

                                Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

                                Does peanut butter really have butter in it?

                                Do mimes watch silent movies?

                                Is the fear of flying groundless?

                                What would you use to dilute water?

                                Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

                                Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

                                Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling, "Movie! Movie!" ?

                                Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

                                Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

                                Did Adam and Eve have navels?

                                Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip

                                BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • BigDub
                                  BigDub @Guest last edited by

                                  @Niner said in A little humour:

                                  Some things to think about when drinking :

                                  Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

                                  Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

                                  Does peanut butter really have butter in it?

                                  Do mimes watch silent movies?

                                  Is the fear of flying groundless?

                                  What would you use to dilute water?

                                  Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

                                  Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

                                  Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling, "Movie! Movie!" ?

                                  Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

                                  Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

                                  Did Adam and Eve have navels?

                                  Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip

                                  I am not drinker, but I think about these sort of things all the time. You're not surprised. I know.

                                  GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                                  Assorted other mp's not used
                                  ( not very unusual….right? )

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • BigDub
                                    BigDub last edited by

                                    I asked my friend what’s the difference between a loaf of bread and an elephant. He said, haha, I don’t know.
                                    I said, remind me not to send you to the grocery store for anything.

                                    GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                                    Assorted other mp's not used
                                    ( not very unusual….right? )

                                    ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                    • ?
                                      A Former User @BigDub last edited by

                                      Hi BigDub,
                                      How are men like diapers?
                                      There usually full of s*#t
                                      but thankfully they're disposable.

                                      SSmith1226 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • SSmith1226
                                        SSmith1226 @Guest last edited by SSmith1226

                                        @Dr-Mark
                                        In a similar vein but not necessarily my opinion unless we are discussing my sister:

                                        What do you call a woman without an A..hole?
                                        “Divorced”.

                                        Steve Smith

                                        barliman2001 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • barliman2001
                                          barliman2001 Global Moderator @SSmith1226 last edited by

                                          @SSmith1226 In the same spirit: How do you describe a marriage? A marriage consist of two people. One is always right, and the other is the husband.

                                          Courtois Balanced
                                          Courtois D
                                          Olds Recording
                                          Buescher Aristocrat
                                          Gaudet C
                                          Selmer G
                                          Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
                                          Besson International Bb cornet
                                          Courtois Bb cornet
                                          B&H Sovereign Soprano Cornet
                                          B&H Sovereign trombone
                                          Willy Garreis trombone
                                          Weltklang Euph

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                          • BigDub
                                            BigDub last edited by

                                            One Christmas I gave my wife a washing machine.
                                            She specifically asked for it.
                                            In spite of the request, which I believed could be easily forgotten when we were together with people socially, and I feared being the butt of jokes ( not that I wasn’t accustomed )
                                            This is what I did: I handed her an envelope that had a printed out waiver form for her to sign, promising she would not make me the butt of jokes when tempted to do so at family and social gatherings.

                                            GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                                            Assorted other mp's not used
                                            ( not very unusual….right? )

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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