A little humour

SSmith1226

@tjcombo
From the 2019 Movie with the same name:

Newell Post

@tjcombo OK, now that one is funny.

Tobylou8

It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son were avid bowlers. Infortunately, all of the leagues records were destroyed in a fire. So we will probably never know for whom the Tell's bowled!

BigDub

A UPS truck, a Propane delivery truck, and a tow truck all got stuck at the same time on my friend's steep and icy driveway.
I completely forgot the punch line, but it was really funny.
You would have liked it.

Dr GO

@BigDub said in A little humour:

A UPS truck, a Propane delivery truck, and a tow truck all got stuck at the same time on my friend's steep and icy driveway.
I completely forgot the punch line, but it was really funny.
You would have liked it.

BigDub... Me thinks you were standing too close to the gas truck.

BigDub

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@BigDub said in A little humour:

A UPS truck, a Propane delivery truck, and a tow truck all got stuck at the same time on my friend's steep and icy driveway.
I completely forgot the punch line, but it was really funny.
You would have liked it.

BigDub... Me thinks you were standing too close to the gas truck.
seems like the punch line might have had something to do with that.......it’s really funny, if I could only remember it

Dr GO

tjcombo

Doctor vs Lawyer

A doctor moved to a new town but couldn’t get a job in a hospital. Needing work, he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads: "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene." Doctor: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything." Doctor: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth." Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste." Doctor: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20." The fuming lawyer pays him.
The lawyer then comes back a week later determined to get back $100. Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all Doctor: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100." Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!" Doctor: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

tjcombo

Totally unrelated to the musical arts (like the last one I guess, but there is a vaguely medical theme for all the Docs on this forum )

Tobylou8

A blind trumpet player wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:

The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

BigDub

Two old fellers met down town and were catching up since they hadn't seen each other for some time.
One says, yeah, I got a hearing aid and it is so great! State of the art technology it is so good I hear things I was missing for so long now.
Wow, says the other. What kind is it?

9:30.

BigDub

Sven, was caught in a hailstorm while driving his Saab home from work. It was pretty bad, and looked like the dents were going to be permanent. He took it to a repair shop and to his surprise, the repair man said, “you can fix those dents yourself, you know. Just blow really hard into the tailpipe and they’ll pop right out”
Ole happened to be passing by Sven's house the next day and saw Sven “fixing” his dents.
“WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, SVEN?”
Sven told him about the repair man’s kind advice.
“Oh, Sven, he was really playing a cruel trick on you. You have to close all the windows first!”

Dr GO

@BigDub said in A little humour:

Sven, was caught in a hailstorm while driving his Saab home from work. It was pretty bad, and looked like the dents were going to be permanent. He took it to a repair shop and to his surprise, the repair man said, “you can fix those dents yourself, you know. Just blow really hard into the tailpipe and they’ll pop right out”
Ole happened to be passing by Sven's house the next day and saw Sven “fixing” his dents.
“WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, SVEN?”
Sven told him about the repair man’s kind advice.
“Oh, Sven, he was really playing a cruel trick on you. You have to close all the windows first!”

Sounds like a very Saab story to me.

BigDub

@Dr-GO said in A little humour:

@BigDub said in A little humour:

Sven, was caught in a hailstorm while driving his Saab home from work. It was pretty bad, and looked like the dents were going to be permanent. He took it to a repair shop and to his surprise, the repair man said, “you can fix those dents yourself, you know. Just blow really hard into the tailpipe and they’ll pop right out”
Ole happened to be passing by Sven's house the next day and saw Sven “fixing” his dents.
“WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, SVEN?”
Sven told him about the repair man’s kind advice.
“Oh, Sven, he was really playing a cruel trick on you. You have to close all the windows first!”

Sounds like a very Saab story to me.

Good one. Um-hmmm.

Dr GO

I can relate:

Tobylou8

Did you hear? Spiderman made a winter coat out of Greek bread. It was a Pita Parka!

SSmith1226

@Tobylou8 said in A little humour:

Did you hear? Spiderman made a winter coat out of Greek bread. It was a Pita Parka!

Well to be frank, I’d have to change my name.

BigDub

Did I ever mention I was named after Anthony Wayne, the famous Revolutionary war general?

Well.......he WAS born in 1745, so.......I certainly was named after him.

BigDub