Posts made by Vulgano Brother

Louis is amazing!

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.

Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'

Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

'No Kidding,' he said.

'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'

@Dr-GO Hmmm. Perhaps a movie about a PhD Chemist who plays trumpet. Could be called Breaking Band.

I was into jazz before I heard the Dead play on records, and then live. It was a gateway into

and aleatoric modern music.

Jazz is a dead language. Change my mind.

When in Germany I had a colleague (trombone player, but smarter than most) who had taken part in a study about lung capacity among brass players. The finding was that brass players don't really have bigger lungs, but can easily control the exhalation.

Uhh, from YouTube.

Trinkt einen Münchener zu Weihnachten ein "Christmaß?"

Grüß Gott, Bertie!

I bought a Christmas tree today. The salesman asked if I was putting it up myself. I said, "No, in the living room."

Actually, she was on crutches, otherwise she would have walked out. I probably would have stayed.

@Kehaulani said in This is a hoot and is very well done!:

When I saw my first Spaghetti Western, I was so disgusted by the violence that I walked out. Now, I watch it on late-night T.V. and don't even think a thing about it. Sad commentary.

I loved the soundtrack to A Clockwork Orange and when the movie was to be showing at my University I didn't hesitate to budget $1.00 more to bring a date.

First date. Last date. Actually, pretty much the last time we ever talked.

I used to torture students who didn't practice by having them finger (dry) the 2, 1-3 combination. Doesn't take long before parts of the arm start screaming.

Good old hamstring.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=94&v=7wX8gFX_-fk&feature=emb_logo This.

It seems to me that tuning to the resonant center is just another way of saying "playing out of tune."

Be immersed in the music, listen, and enjoy yourself. The audience will too.