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    • BigDub
      BigDub last edited by

      Does a large bore make you sleepy?
      What do sheep count?
      What does Dracula count?
      Nothing exceeds like excess.
      Practice makes perfect. Nobody’s perfect. In that case, Nobody practices.
      "Nothing rhymes with orange"...no it doesn’t.

      GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
      Assorted other mp's not used
      ( not very unusual….right? )

      M 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
      • M
        moshe @BigDub last edited by

        @BigDub said in A little humour:

        Does a large bore make you sleepy?
        What do sheep count?
        What does Dracula count?
        Nothing exceeds like excess.
        Practice makes perfect. Nobody’s perfect. In that case, Nobody practices.
        "Nothing rhymes with orange"...no it doesn’t.

        Encore !!!
        Encore !!!
        Encore !!!

        Morris / moshe

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • neal085
          neal085 last edited by

          Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

          Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

          M 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • M
            moshe @neal085 last edited by

            @neal085 said in A little humour:

            Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

            Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

            And I thought that my puns were bad ☺

            I never saw it coming ... 🤓

            Morris / moshe

            BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • BigDub
              BigDub @moshe last edited by

              @moshe said in A little humour:

              @neal085 said in A little humour:

              Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

              Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

              And I thought that my puns were bad ☺

              I never saw it coming ... 🤓

              Morris / moshe

              In the world of Puns, bad is good, smelly is swell-ie.
              The less sophistication it possesses, the higher the elevation to which it rises.
              At least that is what I say to defend my own puns.
              And, lastly, if one is easily embarrassed, one had better not enter the arena of puns.

              GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
              Assorted other mp's not used
              ( not very unusual….right? )

              M 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • M
                moshe @BigDub last edited by

                @BigDub said in A little humour:

                @moshe said in A little humour:

                @neal085 said in A little humour:

                Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

                Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

                And I thought that my puns were bad ☺

                I never saw it coming ... 🤓

                Morris / moshe

                In the world of Puns, bad is good, smelly is swell-ie.
                The less sophistication it possesses, the higher the elevation to which it rises.
                At least that is what I say to defend my own puns.
                And, lastly, if one is easily embarrassed, one had better not enter the arena of puns.

                There are arenas of puns?

                Pun gladiators?

                Pun matadors?

                Peanut vendors?

                Morris / moshe

                BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • BigDub
                  BigDub @moshe last edited by

                  @moshe said in A little humour:

                  @BigDub said in A little humour:

                  @moshe said in A little humour:

                  @neal085 said in A little humour:

                  Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

                  Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

                  And I thought that my puns were bad ☺

                  I never saw it coming ... 🤓

                  Morris / moshe

                  In the world of Puns, bad is good, smelly is swell-ie.
                  The less sophistication it possesses, the higher the elevation to which it rises.
                  At least that is what I say to defend my own puns.
                  And, lastly, if one is easily embarrassed, one had better not enter the arena of puns.

                  There are arenas of puns?

                  Pun gladiators?

                  Pun matadors?

                  Peanut vendors?

                  Morris / moshe

                  Well.......in a manner of speaking......yes.....😁
                  And I had already used, "world of puns" so I resisted the lazy approach and came up with another nomenclature (how'd you like that description?) .
                  And as far as gladiators, maybe more like couch pertaters.
                  Instead of Matadors, maybe Bull throwers?
                  Peanut venders? I don’t know, you can’t spell PUN without them letters right there.

                  GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                  Assorted other mp's not used
                  ( not very unusual….right? )

                  M 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • M
                    moshe @BigDub last edited by

                    @BigDub said in A little humour:

                    @moshe said in A little humour:

                    @BigDub said in A little humour:

                    @moshe said in A little humour:

                    @neal085 said in A little humour:

                    Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

                    Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

                    And I thought that my puns were bad ☺

                    I never saw it coming ... 🤓

                    Morris / moshe

                    In the world of Puns, bad is good, smelly is swell-ie.
                    The less sophistication it possesses, the higher the elevation to which it rises.
                    At least that is what I say to defend my own puns.
                    And, lastly, if one is easily embarrassed, one had better not enter the arena of puns.

                    There are arenas of puns?

                    Pun gladiators?

                    Pun matadors?

                    Peanut vendors?

                    Morris / moshe

                    Well.......in a manner of speaking......yes.....😁
                    And I had already used, "world of puns" so I resisted the lazy approach and came up with another nomenclature (how'd you like that description?) .
                    And as far as gladiators, maybe more like couch pertaters.
                    Instead of Matadors, maybe Bull throwers?
                    Peanut venders? I don’t know, you can’t spell PUN without them letters right there.

                    For those who are not multi-lingual like I am,

                    "matador" is French for "I love me"

                    and "gladitaters" is Arkansas for "happy mountain oysters".

                    I don't mean to brag,
                    but I am completely illiterate in 27 languages.

                    Morris / moshe

                    BigDub M 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • BigDub
                      BigDub @moshe last edited by

                      @moshe said in A little humour:

                      @BigDub said in A little humour:

                      @moshe said in A little humour:

                      @BigDub said in A little humour:

                      @moshe said in A little humour:

                      @neal085 said in A little humour:

                      Friends of mine just got back from a cruise. Said they bought a slice of pie for $3.00 in Jamaica, but paid over $7.00 for the same pie in the Bahamas.

                      Anyway, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

                      And I thought that my puns were bad ☺

                      I never saw it coming ... 🤓

                      Morris / moshe

                      In the world of Puns, bad is good, smelly is swell-ie.
                      The less sophistication it possesses, the higher the elevation to which it rises.
                      At least that is what I say to defend my own puns.
                      And, lastly, if one is easily embarrassed, one had better not enter the arena of puns.

                      There are arenas of puns?

                      Pun gladiators?

                      Pun matadors?

                      Peanut vendors?

                      Morris / moshe

                      Well.......in a manner of speaking......yes.....😁
                      And I had already used, "world of puns" so I resisted the lazy approach and came up with another nomenclature (how'd you like that description?) .
                      And as far as gladiators, maybe more like couch pertaters.
                      Instead of Matadors, maybe Bull throwers?
                      Peanut venders? I don’t know, you can’t spell PUN without them letters right there.

                      For those who are not multi-lingual like I am,

                      "matador" is French for "I love me"

                      and "gladitaters" is Arkansas for "happy mountain oysters".

                      I don't mean to brag,
                      but I am completely illiterate in 27 languages.

                      Morris / moshe

                      Well, I’m 67 but I read at a 70 yr old’s level

                      GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                      Assorted other mp's not used
                      ( not very unusual….right? )

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • Newell Post
                        Newell Post last edited by

                        guru.jpg

                        Bb: Bach 180S37G (05), Mercedes (80)
                        Vintage: Committee (54), Recording (59), Super (49), Getzen Severinsen (66)
                        C: Kanstul 1510, Constellation
                        D/Eb: Getzen Eterna
                        Cornet: Schilke XA1, Yamaha Neo Eb
                        Flugel: Kanstul 1525, Yamaha 625
                        Conch shell in F

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 9
                        • M
                          moshe @moshe last edited by moshe

                          complaint:

                          I receive at least 10 emails every day offering to treat "E.D."

                          Who told?

                          Did someone leak my medical records to the marketers?

                          If they really wanted to treat my ED,
                          they would send me a 21-year-old blonde...

                          (and note that I said blonde, not blond, that's important...)
                          https://grammarist.com/usage/blond-blonde/

                          That link says that I am "sexist" for using the word "blonde"...

                          ☺

                          Morris / moshe

                          J. Jericho 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • J. Jericho
                            J. Jericho Global Moderator @moshe last edited by

                            '62 Olds Studio Trumpet
                            '67 Olds Special Trumpet
                            2013 Dillon Pocket Trumpet
                            '83 Yamaha YFH-731 Flugelhorn
                            1919 York Perfec-Tone Cornet
                            '50 Olds Studio Trombone
                            Shofar

                            "If it was just up to me, I'd only have trumpet players on my show." - Jackie Gleason

                            M 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • M
                              moshe @J. Jericho last edited by moshe

                              @J-Jericho said in A little humour:

                              Where's the strawberry preserves ?

                              Even Sarah Lee knows that I want strawberry preserves with my cheesecake...

                              BTW,
                              For people like me who are hard-of-hearing,
                              here are the hysterical lyrics to the song I have never heard before:
                              https://lyrics.fandom.com/wiki/Julie_Brown:'Cause_I'm_A_Blonde

                              Morris / moshe

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • J. Jericho
                                J. Jericho Global Moderator last edited by J. Jericho

                                "'Cause I'm a Blonde" is is one of my favorite songs, and Earth Girls Are Easy is one of my favorite movies. Julie Brown is just hilarious. She's come up with other creative songs, but I think "Cause I'm a Blonde" is still the best.

                                '62 Olds Studio Trumpet
                                '67 Olds Special Trumpet
                                2013 Dillon Pocket Trumpet
                                '83 Yamaha YFH-731 Flugelhorn
                                1919 York Perfec-Tone Cornet
                                '50 Olds Studio Trombone
                                Shofar

                                "If it was just up to me, I'd only have trumpet players on my show." - Jackie Gleason

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • BigDub
                                  BigDub last edited by

                                  Things believed by some blondes, ( Maybe, because I tried to convince some of my younger sister's friends of these myths growing up.)

                                  1. If you are driving in thick fog, turn on your high beams and drive faster. The heat generated from your headlights along with the wind created by your higher speed will push away the fog where you need to drive.
                                  2. Pigs are really just shaved sheep.
                                  3. The Moon, of course, is the closest planet to the earth.
                                  4. We ( the US ) own the moon. Our flag is there.
                                  5. New Mexico is part of Mexico.
                                  6. Before 1960, EVERYTHING was black and white. no colors existed.

                                  Sadly, I was only able to convince them for a short time.

                                  GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                                  Assorted other mp's not used
                                  ( not very unusual….right? )

                                  M 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • M
                                    moshe @BigDub last edited by moshe

                                    About 5 years ago I showed up for a doctor appointment.

                                    I was taken to an examination room.

                                    The nurse said,
                                    "The doctor will be with you shortly."

                                    I laughed at her choice of words,
                                    because from previous visits I knew that the doctor was 7 feet tall.

                                    She should have said,
                                    "The doctor will be with you tally".

                                    Morris / moshe

                                    BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • BigDub
                                      BigDub @moshe last edited by BigDub

                                      @moshe
                                      A friend of mine recently went on a fantastic African safari vacation. One morning Bob was able to get up before everyone else and get a great shot ( photo. PHOTO ) of a bull elephant while still in his pajamas.
                                      How that elephant fit into his pajamas I'll never figure out!

                                      GETZEN Eterna 900, S.E. Shires C Trumpet, Custom Shires 3c MP, Shires 1 1/2 C MP
                                      Assorted other mp's not used
                                      ( not very unusual….right? )

                                      barliman2001 M 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                      • barliman2001
                                        barliman2001 Global Moderator @BigDub last edited by

                                        @BigDub In the same spirit:

                                        How do you get a giraffe into a freezer?

                                        Open door, giraffe goes in, close door.

                                        Courtois Balanced
                                        Courtois D
                                        Olds Recording
                                        Buescher Aristocrat
                                        Gaudet C
                                        Selmer G
                                        Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
                                        Besson International Bb cornet
                                        Courtois Bb cornet
                                        B&H Sovereign Soprano Cornet
                                        B&H Sovereign trombone
                                        Willy Garreis trombone
                                        Weltklang Euph

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                        • barliman2001
                                          barliman2001 Global Moderator last edited by

                                          How do you get a rhino into a freezer?

                                          Open door, yes-

                                          NO.

                                          Giraffe out, rhino in, close door.

                                          Courtois Balanced
                                          Courtois D
                                          Olds Recording
                                          Buescher Aristocrat
                                          Gaudet C
                                          Selmer G
                                          Courtois 154 Flugelhorn
                                          Besson International Bb cornet
                                          Courtois Bb cornet
                                          B&H Sovereign Soprano Cornet
                                          B&H Sovereign trombone
                                          Willy Garreis trombone
                                          Weltklang Euph

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                          • M
                                            moshe @BigDub last edited by

                                            @BigDub said in A little humour:

                                            @moshe
                                            A friend of mine recently went on a fantastic African safari vacation. One morning Bob was able to get up before everyone else and get a great shot ( photo. PHOTO ) of a bull elephant while still in his pajamas.
                                            How that elephant fit into his pajamas I'll never figure out!

                                            Proof that vaudeville and the Marx Brothers will never die ! ☺

                                            "Who are ya gonna believe? Me, or your lying eyes?"

                                            Morris / moshe

                                            BigDub 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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