@bigdub Finally, police asked a bystanding viola player: "Can you tell us something?" - "What about?"
Best posts made by barliman2001
-
RE: A little humour
-
RE: A little humour
@tjcombo A more or less accurate description of Austria at the moment... (Austrian police vehicle and uniforms in the pic)
-
RE: A little humour
Two elderly ladies are sitting on a bench in a cemetery. Suddenly, one pulls out some cosmetics and begins making up her face. With a sneer, the other lady asks, "How old are you?" - "79" - "And you still bother about make-up?" Silence. Then the reply: "And how old are you?" - "84" - "And you still bother about going home??"
-
RE: A little humour
And one more in the same vein... An old lady in a cemetery asks an attendant, "Excuse me, where's Grave 15, Row A?" - "That's funny... first sneak away, and then can't find your way back!"
-
RE: A little humour
And a third one... A doctor meets his rival in a cemetery, "Oh, you're stocktaking..."
-
RE: A little humour
Lady at the beauty clinic: "Doctor, I hope you can help me..." - Sorry, ma'am, I don't do decapitations."
-
RE: A little humour
Wife to husband, "Cuddles, what do you like most about me: My face, or my body?" - "Your sense of humour."
-
RE: A little humour
@administrator At least 00:00 exists. The city of Augsburg made themselves a laughing-stock when they celebrated their 2000 year anniversary one year early... they had calculated in a "Year 0" which did never exist...
-
RE: How many is too many?
@curlydoc Might be a Buescher #12, with a quick-change to A.
-
RE: A little humour
"My mother-in-law used to live just a stone's throw away." -
"What made her move?" -
"I think I hit her too often..." -
RE: Old Photo
That was one memorable occasion... I had checked into a rehab clinic on a Monday, found the local band on Wednesday, rehearsed with them once, and afterwards was asked whether I would like to join them for their next gig. "When?" - "Tomorrow." Ended up skipping therapy, playing a Fathers' Day gig that started at 10 am and lasted until 11 pm...
-
RE: Musician Jokes
Bavarian conductor and composer Max Reger was a very outspoken man... his dry comments were feared by everyone in his time and provide material for anecdotes ever since.
Once, he had been conducting C.M. von Weber's Concert for Oboe, Bassoon and Orchestra before a very illustrious audience. After the concert, he was approached by a Princess of Meiningen who asked him "Maestro, are these bassoon sounds all produced by mouth?" - "I'll hope so." was his reply.Another time, a concert of his had been severely handled by a newspaper critic. He sent the guy a postcard with this message: "Dear Sir, I am sitting in the smallest room of my apartment and have your critique before me. In a few moments, it'll be behind me. Sincerely, Max Reger."
Since then, many European musicians don't go to the bathroom, but are using the Max Reger Salon instead. -
RE: How many is too many?
@trumpetb Preparation is everything - not only for yourself, but for the whole orchestra. Which is why I'm always bringing at least one spare music stand and light, a couple of handfuls of pegs and a small sandbag or two (for weighing down unsafe music stands; my own are safe even in a small hurricane), and my gig bag always contains one 15-tool Swiss army knife, a small multitool, a mouthpiece puller and four or five pencils and rubbers... the knife, amongst other bits, sports a metal saw which we once needed to cut off a padlock that had been put on a Bb bass by a mischievous bystander and which was clattering horribly...
-
RE: New Ink!
@bobmiller1969 Still, the pure black and white design appealed to me more than the coloured-in version. But at least it is something you and others can connect to. If you're happy, then I'm happy for you.
The only tattoo I might allow myself would be a saxophone... somewhere round the back... -
RE: A little humour
@bigdub It was John XXIII. A source of a great many anecdotes, some of which he himself set into the world. Such as, "What is the difference between Martin Luther and Pope John XXIII? - Luther said, "Here I am, I can't do anything different, so help me God." And Pope John XXIII said, "Here I am, I can do even much more, and may God help you."
When asked whether the good Lord was unaware of something, John XXIII replied: "The Lord does not know three things. 1 - how much money the Franciscans have, 2 - what a Jesuit is really thinking, 3 - how many nun's orders there are."